So I ask... Is it a crime to be in love with your life? What is wrong with being so over the top in love with your husband, that your heart could literally burst every single day? I know exactly what it feels like to NOT feel this way. It is quite possibly the worst human emotion a person can feel. Complete sadness and hopelessness for eternity? I had that. I experienced that. And now I don't have to anymore. Why would I not want to report about that happiness over and over? Lest I were to appear ungrateful for the blessing my husband is to me in my life. I shout from the rooftops to anyone who will listen,or in this case read, how in love I am with being in love. I was thinking the other day, as I was waiting with giddy anticipation for the sound of the garage door to go up, signaling the arrival of our dad, that it is so magnificent that here we are this many years later and I not only feel as in love with him as I did when we first got married, but about a million times more. In my patriarchal blessing it says that the love I feel for my husband will increase for the rest of my life. And my temple marriage will ignite that love and I will find that my happiness has only just begun. That is certainly true. So I report.
Is it a crime to love being a mom? All I ever wanted to do was be a mom. As a little girl, when I would think about my future and what I wanted to do with it, the only thing that I wanted to do was have babies and raise them and love them. I wanted to give a few kids a warm, safe, loving home. I wanted to cook meals for them and laugh and give hugs. I was willing to clean up throw up, wipe boogery noses, stay up all night with them, be worried about them, financially support them. No matter how hard. No matter the struggles. Every time I have thought "this is really hard" I remind myself that this is what I wanted. I think I must have asked for it 100 times. And I was blessed with the most productive reproductive system and never in my wildest did I imagine that I would have SEVEN. But, each one of them was sent to me for a purpose. I love them with all my heart. And so I report.
Is it a crime to not want to focus on the bad? I had the bad. I had the ugly. I don't have that anymore. Why would I want to waste another second of my life reflecting on that? Why can't I see situations for what they are, but see the good in them and not the bad? Does it mean that I am not experiencing things because I choose not to share every embarrassing, gross or difficult detail? I share a few things, but some things are meant to be privately endured. Does it mean that I am a dishonest person because I choose to keep some things between the members of our family? We are the ones meant to grow from them, they are for OUR experience. Does it mean that I am not going through them because I am not sharing them with YOU? Am I in a fantasy land because I want my friends and family to read positive, uplifting, funny, happy words from me? (And while I am on the subject, because I choose not to share aspects of MY life, does NOT give YOU the right to. Especially publicly. How dare you come on here and air what you consider to be dirty laundry as if you have never made a mistake. You ought to be ashamed of yourself and it is YOU who has committed the bigger sin. Ask anyone. Maybe ask your former Bishop, husband what his thoughts are that you did this. You are the furthest thing from Deity. Focus on your own shortcomings... you have SEVERAL. But leave ours alone.
I recently read NieNie's book. She dedicated an entire chapter of the book to her love of blogging. She talked about how it began. As a way to stay connected to her family who were far away. She missed them. But felt that they were nearer through their blogs. She said that she never complained on there. She kept private things private. She kept personal things to herself. She never revealed things she shouldn't have. Especially because she had such a huge following. That was me. Using my blog to try and stay connected to my family who was far away. Reporting on funny, sad, happy, wonderful things. But keeping, just as she did, the private things private.
And so because I do this, or rather because I haven't gone on here and talked about what a HUGE piece of crap I am. Because I haven't revealed things that have no business being revealed, I have angered this person. And this same judgmental and cowardly person, felt it was her duty to come on here and air my laundry for me. Publicly, for every one to read. It was the same as hanging me from the gallows in the dusty street in the middle of town and pasting a scarlet letter on my chest. She acted as judge and jury and hung me out to dry.
I was at church when the comment was left. I so didn't know my blog had been tampered with. My mom received a call at about 2:00 pm from a friend in California who faithfully follows my blog and reads every comment. She read it and immediately called my mom. "Oh Nancy," she said. "Someone has left the most ugly and unbelievable comment on Kaci's blog and you have got to get it off of there." My mom was shaking as she read the lengthy and horrid comment. Words about her daughter that she knew weren't true and certainly weren't deserved. She got a piece of paper from her desk drawer, wrote the comment down so that she could read it to us later and she immediately erased it from my blog and she called and left a message on Raleigh's phone for him to call her as soon as we walked in the door. Then, my phone, that I had left on Raleigh's dresser during church began filling up with hurtful text message after hurtful text message that said things like... "Go ahead, Kaci erase the truth and go back to your Fantasyland" And other absolutely unspeakably nasty words way too horrid to even begin to say outloud much less post. And, I had NO IDEA what she was even talking about.
BUT THE FIRST THING YOU NEED TO KNOW IS....MY MOM ERASED IT, YOU BEAST!!!!!!
I'LL FURTHER ADD...WHY DON'T YOU COME AND SAY THOSE NASTY THINGS TO MY FACE IF YOU'RE SUCH A BAD ASS? WHY TEXT THEM AND WRITE THEM ON MY BLOG LIKE YOU'RE A LITTLE MEAN GIRL TRAPPED IN THE DAMN SEVENTH GRADE, TOO SCARED TO BULLY SOMEONE IN PERSON, SO YOU CYBER BULLY THEM FROM THE SAFETY OF YOUR HOUSE THAT SMELLS LIKE DOG URINE. LIKE A 13 YEAR OLD.
~I didn't like 13 year olds when I was 13... I still don't .
Especially when they are grown ass women acting like 13 year olds.
So, if you don't mind, I will not be liking you~
All I can say is... my fabulous husband has taught me so many beautiful behaviors in the past 4 years... this one being my very favorite. One can never know the power they have over someone until they DON'T speak to them when they are expected to. So I didn't say a word to her. No response. No words. And I watched her lose her shit with the passing of minutes. No doubt sitting by her phone watching and waiting with giddy anticipation my reaction to her nasty behaviors. And then when no reaction happened, she went ape on me. She claimed she was trying to get a reaction out of us. Not so much a reaction, I'd predict, as a fight. But, staying silent was the best weapon I could have ever used.
Try it sometime
It's LOADS of fun
I LOVE THAT OUR SILENCE ENRAGED YOU AND MADE YOU EVEN MORE PSYCHO AND THAT WE GOT TO WATCH THAT HAPPEN... THAT WAS REALLY FUNNY.
I'LL FURTHER ADD...WHY DON'T YOU COME AND SAY THOSE NASTY THINGS TO MY FACE IF YOU'RE SUCH A BAD ASS? WHY TEXT THEM AND WRITE THEM ON MY BLOG LIKE YOU'RE A LITTLE MEAN GIRL TRAPPED IN THE DAMN SEVENTH GRADE, TOO SCARED TO BULLY SOMEONE IN PERSON, SO YOU CYBER BULLY THEM FROM THE SAFETY OF YOUR HOUSE THAT SMELLS LIKE DOG URINE. LIKE A 13 YEAR OLD.
~I didn't like 13 year olds when I was 13... I still don't .
Especially when they are grown ass women acting like 13 year olds.
So, if you don't mind, I will not be liking you~
All I can say is... my fabulous husband has taught me so many beautiful behaviors in the past 4 years... this one being my very favorite. One can never know the power they have over someone until they DON'T speak to them when they are expected to. So I didn't say a word to her. No response. No words. And I watched her lose her shit with the passing of minutes. No doubt sitting by her phone watching and waiting with giddy anticipation my reaction to her nasty behaviors. And then when no reaction happened, she went ape on me. She claimed she was trying to get a reaction out of us. Not so much a reaction, I'd predict, as a fight. But, staying silent was the best weapon I could have ever used.
Try it sometime
It's LOADS of fun
I LOVE THAT OUR SILENCE ENRAGED YOU AND MADE YOU EVEN MORE PSYCHO AND THAT WE GOT TO WATCH THAT HAPPEN... THAT WAS REALLY FUNNY.
The bottom line is, I will never apologize to anyone for anything I write on here. And I am not going to feel badly about my posts ever. I will not worry about what I say and who I am going to offend. But most especially HER. Especially since she misinterprets 90% of EVERYTHING she reads anyway.
And so I start anew. With new conviction.
And until your blessed Facebook page contains all of the awful things that are going on behind the scenes in your crappy family, you need to keep your trap shut!! Until you too start posting all of the dirty little secrets in your very own life.... and stop living in your very own "FantasyLand"... zip it, you hypocrite. Don't you ever judge anyone on anything ever again until you walk sinless, Lady. Which will be never. Because you are rotten to the core. Hypocrites burn in hell you know?
Another point that I must make is a "Christlike Person" would be able to recognize the blessings of the atonement when they are being bestowed. The atonement is the very cornerstone of our religion. The very essence of the life of the man we call Christ is enveloped in this principle. Have you completely forgotten what he did for us... FOR ALL OF US? Or is it that you have never learned this part of our belief system? Why in the world would you as a self proclaimed, good mother ever, EVER think that the blessings of the atonement would apply to every one but your own son? Why is it that you think that he is still plagued by his past and that you owe it to him or deserve to continue to punish him for that which has been long since dealt with? Who on God's beautiful green Earth, do you think you are? You have cast off every word that every prophet has ever spoken to the inhabitants of this world. Every single one of them has drilled into us since the beginning of time the importance, the beauty, the gift, the enormity of this thing we call the atonement. It is there for us to use. It is there for us to profit by, it is there to save our lives. Why would you dismiss it? Why would you belittle it? Why would you think it was ignored by your very own flesh and blood? Why do you feel that YOU.... (one of the most underdeveloped of Latter-day Saint women, I've ever encountered) are the one that must act in the place of our Lord and Savior in delivering punishments and judgments on ANY of his children? I would LOVE to hear who you think you are........ I could use a good laugh. Having said all of this... please get yourself to a bishop's office before it's too late and you destroy yourself with your own pathetic, miserable, self righteous sins.
This... is the story...The reason my blog is private for a while. But this pathetic woman doesn't get to read about us anymore. She doesn't get to form her own incorrect conclusions anymore. She doesn't get to be publicly ugly to me anymore. She doesn't get to passively aggressively attempt to hurt us anymore. She's not welcome in our lives and she's not welcome on here. And anyone who has heard her sack of shit lies and has believed her story, full of holes and NOT making any sense, should ask themselves... Why would a son just all of the sudden DISOWN his entire family? Unless something had gone catastrophically wrong!! Aren't you the slightest bit curious to know what she's done? Doesn't it make you at all curious if there's another side to the story? It should. It would BLOW YOU AWAY!!
And so I start anew. With new conviction.
And until your blessed Facebook page contains all of the awful things that are going on behind the scenes in your crappy family, you need to keep your trap shut!! Until you too start posting all of the dirty little secrets in your very own life.... and stop living in your very own "FantasyLand"... zip it, you hypocrite. Don't you ever judge anyone on anything ever again until you walk sinless, Lady. Which will be never. Because you are rotten to the core. Hypocrites burn in hell you know?
Another point that I must make is a "Christlike Person" would be able to recognize the blessings of the atonement when they are being bestowed. The atonement is the very cornerstone of our religion. The very essence of the life of the man we call Christ is enveloped in this principle. Have you completely forgotten what he did for us... FOR ALL OF US? Or is it that you have never learned this part of our belief system? Why in the world would you as a self proclaimed, good mother ever, EVER think that the blessings of the atonement would apply to every one but your own son? Why is it that you think that he is still plagued by his past and that you owe it to him or deserve to continue to punish him for that which has been long since dealt with? Who on God's beautiful green Earth, do you think you are? You have cast off every word that every prophet has ever spoken to the inhabitants of this world. Every single one of them has drilled into us since the beginning of time the importance, the beauty, the gift, the enormity of this thing we call the atonement. It is there for us to use. It is there for us to profit by, it is there to save our lives. Why would you dismiss it? Why would you belittle it? Why would you think it was ignored by your very own flesh and blood? Why do you feel that YOU.... (one of the most underdeveloped of Latter-day Saint women, I've ever encountered) are the one that must act in the place of our Lord and Savior in delivering punishments and judgments on ANY of his children? I would LOVE to hear who you think you are........ I could use a good laugh. Having said all of this... please get yourself to a bishop's office before it's too late and you destroy yourself with your own pathetic, miserable, self righteous sins.
This... is the story...The reason my blog is private for a while. But this pathetic woman doesn't get to read about us anymore. She doesn't get to form her own incorrect conclusions anymore. She doesn't get to be publicly ugly to me anymore. She doesn't get to passively aggressively attempt to hurt us anymore. She's not welcome in our lives and she's not welcome on here. And anyone who has heard her sack of shit lies and has believed her story, full of holes and NOT making any sense, should ask themselves... Why would a son just all of the sudden DISOWN his entire family? Unless something had gone catastrophically wrong!! Aren't you the slightest bit curious to know what she's done? Doesn't it make you at all curious if there's another side to the story? It should. It would BLOW YOU AWAY!!
Grrrrrrrrr....... YOU SUCK!!
A 50 year old women who acts like a teen age girl. But, the truth of her, behind the fake and completely phony facade she puts on for everyone to see so they won't know the real truth that she is inwardly ugly, and unhappy and she never grew up. And delights in gossip and judgments and junior high school girls bathroom behaviors.
You Histrionic piece of garbage.
How embarrassing for the family and everyone who heard your victim story and ACTUALLY BELIEVED IT!
Continue putting on your "show" for every one.
Continue living in your own Fantasyland.
The main character in a stage show where you pretend to be the perfect person, saying all the perfect things and behaving in socially correct ways for your audience.
Entertaining everyone with your lies.
Unfortunately, I have seen you behind the scenes.
You're straight nasty.
You're really sad.
If I wasn't SO disgusted by you, I would try to feel sorry for you.
Maybe in 10 years, I will be able to have some compassion.
Maybe after you have sufficiently messed up your own life with your horrid decisions.
And found some humility.
But, I am TOO livid right now.
And I will repay you by denying you my life and all of it's treasures.
Decisions Determine Destiny.
Enjoy Yours
A 50 year old women who acts like a teen age girl. But, the truth of her, behind the fake and completely phony facade she puts on for everyone to see so they won't know the real truth that she is inwardly ugly, and unhappy and she never grew up. And delights in gossip and judgments and junior high school girls bathroom behaviors.
You Histrionic piece of garbage.
How embarrassing for the family and everyone who heard your victim story and ACTUALLY BELIEVED IT!
Continue putting on your "show" for every one.
Continue living in your own Fantasyland.
The main character in a stage show where you pretend to be the perfect person, saying all the perfect things and behaving in socially correct ways for your audience.
Entertaining everyone with your lies.
Unfortunately, I have seen you behind the scenes.
You're straight nasty.
You're really sad.
If I wasn't SO disgusted by you, I would try to feel sorry for you.
Maybe in 10 years, I will be able to have some compassion.
Maybe after you have sufficiently messed up your own life with your horrid decisions.
And found some humility.
But, I am TOO livid right now.
And I will repay you by denying you my life and all of it's treasures.
Decisions Determine Destiny.
Enjoy Yours
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