I literally prayed a couple of weeks ago that I could "Rip Van Winkle" my way through May. Fall asleep on May 1st and wake up rested and refreshed on June 1st. And have it be all over and successful without me having to stress like every single day. But, here it is May 11th and I am still awake and stressing.
I will, in the next three weeks, attend the high school graduation of my SECOND child, go through the temple with my son and his soon to be NEW WIFE, witness the sealing of my son and my NEW DAUGHTER-IN-LAW, go to a very expensive dance recital, an end of the year awards ceremony and pay for far too many things than I have money for. Not to mention, I will celebrate my 29th birthday again for the 15th year in a row. And for some reason, this year, I don't feel like I am 29 anymore. My back aches, my feet hurt, my head in killing me. Speaking of heads, that brings me to another subject....
My Sister.
I am falling apart that I have to go through all of these events without her. How can I do that? I go to the store and I feel like crap because.... Why am I going to the store and buying food and making dinner like life is normal and life is so completely NOT NORMAL. If I can hardly go to the store, how can I have a wedding? But how can I stop it? It's rolling forward... everything is rolling forward.
And the worst part of this whole crappy story is the cancer is the least of our worries right now. Right now the biggest, suckiest part is the fact that she cannot come home because the stroke that she suffered caused her left side to become so weak that she can't sit up long enough to sit on a plane for the duration of the flight.
Russ came home Sunday night and Dad flew to Houston for two weeks. We want to pray for her to get to come home as soon as possible.... but we recognize that she needs to heal at her own pace and not on our time schedule. Even though last night, when I couldn't sleep because I can't breathe because I have the world's worst cold, I prayed like Enos that Kori would be able to be here for our wedding. And then this morning, she seemed so much better and stronger and in her words "smarter" and so, I know that my prayer was heard.
So, there are these people in Houston. And they go to the hospital and visit Kori every day. And they didn't even know her last month and this month they make her a part of their every day. And on Sunday, they drove Russ to the airport so he could fly home and they waited there for my dad's flight to arrive, so they could drive him back to the hospital. And in the middle of it all, they purchased a round trip ticket for Russ, so that he could go back to Kori this weekend. Who does that? There are some truly amazing people in this world. And it does a couple of things to a person who's observing. #1. It restores your faith in humanity and #2. It makes you feel like a piece of crap. Because, when was the last time I went to the hospital and visited someone was hurting? Like, NEVER. Because the hospital is the worst place to be in whole world. When was the last time I spent a ton of money on a near stranger? NEVER. But, people other than me do stuff like that. Good, selfless, kind people. What a blessing they have been. And it makes me think.... I am going to start making some changes and do things like this. Naturally, I will start with small and simple things. Just to get practice. And I will work my way up to amazing, life altering things next year or maybe the next. I keep thinking, I will be a great person when my babies are all grown, or when I don't have to work full time, or when I my life isn't so complicated, but then I keep having endless babies and it's nearly inconceivable that they will ever be grown and will I never not have to work? I don't think so. I'll be a 94 year old Walmart Greeter, I am quite certain of it. And when will my life ever stop being complicated? NEVER. So, I probably won't ever be one of these people. Sigh. Hopefully, the thought that I thought about being one of those people counts for something.
Mother's Day was a huge bummer this year. Well, that's not entirely true because it was pretty fun, but it was a bummer. Papa was in Houston. Kori was in Houston. Russ was in the air flying home from Houston. The remainder of us got together for dessert at our house and watched Pitch Perfect in preparation for this weekend. Mom was so funny.... she half watched it..... didn't get 94% of the jokes and must have said 423 times.... "well what kind of show is this?" And then at the very end she goes "that was cute, I liked the singing." The best part was Gavin and Savanna nearly had the entire movie memorized and Brent was like "what is this movie? I have never seen this." Raleigh said that he thinks Kami and the Kids watch movies while Brent is sleeping.
Kami and Brent have had a very tragic and unexpected death in their family and we are so heartbroken about it. Consequently, I am writing Kori's blog for a while until she can regroup. I will post updates about Kori there. She is making tremendous progress.
www.prayersforkoko.blogspot.com
And finally.... I have lost my address book for the 5th or 6th time and I am sending out wedding invitations this week. Please, if you don't mind, comment me your address. I have comment moderation on my blog and comments have to be approved by me before they are published, so I won't publish your address I will simply jot down your address and then delete the comment. And then send you an invitation if you'd like one.
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