New York Gets It's Own Post

Back in June of 2008, my sister, Kami and I were married one day apart.

Our husbands both took on wives with a good amount of baggage,  but also a gaggle of children that weren't theirs.

To anyone observing on the outside, it would seem like an unhappy life.

I think some people were concerned.

Kami and I had both been through some stuff and we were a little concerned ourselves.

One night we were talking about our new husbands and I said

"Hey if these guys stick it out with us for 10 years, we should celebrate by going on a fun trip together."

She agreed.

Last year in August, I said to Raleigh

"do you think you'll still be around in May of next year?"

He said that he thought he just might be.

So we started planning our trip to 

NEW YORK.

Kami, Brent, Mom, Dad Raleigh and Me.

Raleigh and I made a list of all of the things we weren't able

to do in New York last time we were there in 2014.  

The things that we were sad that we had missed out on. 

And we vowed to do them all.

I ordered a few clothes on line.  Really cute sundresses and sandals.

Which ended up being worthless because there was only one day of our trip

 forecasted to be above 80.

I had my friend who is a paralegal draft up a 

Last Will and Testament

for us.  I left our children and our estate to Morgan and Parker.

At HER request.

And Parker agreed to it in an email all the way from South Africa.

I was a wreck.

I had irrational fears.

I made everyone fly on separate planes.

The day FINALLY arrived...

Only a ridiculously scary and wretchedly awful 5 hour plane flight

stood between me and The Big Apple.

I cried all the way to the airport.

However, it turned out the flight was a piece of cake.

We had an excellent pilot who navigated us delightfully through

the mid-west turbulence.

All would have been perfect, had it not been for little Juan Carlos

sitting directly behind me who unfortunately had 

one obnoxious case of croup

and two parents who didn't give a damn.

He literally coughed for a solid 5 hours and chocked back 

vomit and cried.

And there I was without my SAARs mask.

The only reason I look happy was because I was hopped up

on Unisom that made me feel euphorically sleepy and oddly happy

in spite of the circumstances.

Our plane landed at JFK at 6:00 am Thursday morning

And Ma and Pa's plane landed at 6:25

so we met up with them at baggage claim.

And headed out to find a cab.

 But before we could get to the curb to do that 

cool New York Wave thing that everyone does,

a man with a very thick accent came out of nowhere and

approached Raleigh...

"you looking for a cab?"

Raleigh says .......yeeahhh.....

He says "I have car outside. I take you and your luggage to

city for $65."

Raleigh goes Sawweeeet 

and motions for all of us to follow them.

And like lambs to the slaughter, we followed blindly.

My mom was muttering under her breath

"this seems sketchy"

All I could think was that he was going to sell me to sex traffic-ers.

Raleigh had the biggest smile on his face and kept looking back at us like he was making the

deal of the century and was so proud of himself.
I told my mom that I thought the 4 of us could take him if we had to.

Well his car was his family mini van

parked out in the regular parking lot and it was covered in dings

and the trunk lid didn't stay open on it's own so 

Raleigh had to hold it up while he shoved our suitcases

in the back like they were garbage and then he told us to get in.
He was a little bossy, like he had to educate the tourists.
I felt like he thought we were 5 year olds.

He started driving all reckless toward what we hoped was the city.
New York drivers drive horribly.  They have lane ADD.
They cannot get in a lane and stay in that lane for 2 seconds.
And they also form their own lanes if all the designated lanes are
occupied.  And the worst part, they gas... break... gas... break.... gas... break and not gently either.
And as passengers, you have to completely brace yourself or for sure you'll get
whiplash.  I would have been completely car sick, but luckily, I was still feeling the
heavy effects of my Unisom and so I put my purse up against the window and
put my head against that and slept.  The only time I would wake up was when my mom would
let out a little scream.  Which happened like 30 times.

We quickly learned that our driver was from Argentina and his
wife was a mormon from Brazil.  What are the chances?
Surely the husband of a mormon woman from Brazil wouldn't harm us right?

He actually turned out to be the cutest man and a really 

good tour guide.  And he dropped us off safely right in front

of our hotel without incident.

 And even posed for a picture

 We dropped our luggage off at the hotel and walked up to Rockefeller Center.

I was SO tired and drugged.  

I felt like I was floating and I just wanted to sleep.

We sat down in front of a building across the street from Radio City Music Hall.

There are marble benches out in front.  Mom, Dad and Raleigh were people watching and I

kept nodding off.  So, I laid down on the bench behind them and fell asleep.

I could hear the traffic buzzing by and the occasional honk of horns that

made me smile inside that I was there listening to that beautiful noise.

.......... until..........

One of New York's Finest came over and said

"She can't be laying down here"

like I was some sort of criminal.

And I wanted to say

"there is a literal bum over there straight harassing people for money

and that guy across the street is peeing in the gutter....

but okay, I'll sit up"

And my entire body was in pain and I think Raleigh could tell.

So, we went back to our hotel lobby.

Where they had NO problem with me sleeping.

So I did for 2 hours.

Sometime during my nap, Brent and Kami showed up and we all

got checked into our rooms and changed our clothes and walked up to 

Time's Square.

Everyone was hungry.  

I hadn't eaten in 24 hours with the exception of an egg and piece of toast at

8:00am.  And I am hypoglycemic and my 

blood sugar plays nasty tricks on me.   I warned everyone that I needed to eat

really soon...  like within 30 minutes or I would go into an episode.

And no one needed to experience that.  

Well Raleigh and Brent had all sorts of opinions...

we can't eat at a chain restaurant.

we can't eat somewhere with a waiting line.

we can't eat somewhere easy or good.

we can't eat somewhere close by.

we can't eat somewhere where...........

I don't know what was going on, but the two of them were

half a mile ahead of us hovering over Raleigh's phone like it was the 

Liahona guiding them to the promised land.

And the rest of us were behind going

There's Olive Garden.

NO THATS A CHAIN

There's Hard Rock

TOO MANY PEOPLE

There's freakin Panda Express

WE'LL GET FOOD POISONING

Well, just as I predicted...  my blood sugar went sky high 

in a New York minute and I was full blown in the body shakes

and sweats when Louis and Clark finally made a decision and yelled back to us

"We're going to Paul's Pizzeria.

For Authentic Pizza.

Authentic Pizza is what we are after" 

"Well that sounds just delicious, you morons", I yelled through my convulsions.

Everyone in this whole family 

happens to know that I hate cheese more than anything on this earth.

Everyone, especially my husband.  Why in the world would he choose 

Pizza, my least favorite meal in the whole world, next to liver,  when he knew that I was near death?

I took it so personally.

And even though I vehemently expressed my TOTAL disdain for the 

Pizza Decision very outloud and with extreme emotion, it wasn't well received and some of my family members starting giving me looks like "get over yourself, who do you think you are?" 

I knew I was acting like a spoiled brat, but I couldn't stop myself.

And truly, at this point I didn't care what I ate as long as it stopped the shaking.

I was even considering the hitting up the HALAL food truck.

I don't even know what HALAL is....  but it makes for some pretty funny jokes and it kind of smelled good if you wanted it to.

We walked for what seemed like a hundred more blocks

(but it was really only 2)

And we arrived at Paul's

Which looked like this....

Not so much a pizzeria than it was an upscale dining experience.

And we waited in the snooty lobby, while the fancy hostesses 

prepared our table by setting up our menus all special in the middle of the

table and filled our wine glasses with sparkling water with lemons and 

when we sat down, they put our napkins on our laps for us 

and....  are you kidding me?

Raleigh let out a huge sigh as he sat down, the way he does when he's super annoyed.  He doesn't speak as much as the average human,  he doesn't share his feelings a ton, but I occasionally know when he is upset by his body language and his breathing.  I knew that he was annoyed and there was a pretty good chance it was most likely at me.  But, make no mistake,  I wasn't having it.   I turned to him and pointed my finger right in his face and through my tightly gritted teeth and with pure and passionate anger in my voice I said:

"you stop breathing RIGHT NOW"

And there was a little bit of fear in his eyes.

He didn't even know how to respond to that.

Then, I violently grabbed my menu that was standing up all fancy in front of me and I started perusing the sickness.  With every word I read, I got more and more agitated. 

I get really bothered at expensive restaurants, when they use words to describe food that no one knows the meaning of.  The rich people pretend that they know the meaning.  But the idea behind this is the bigger and more obscure the word is, the more monetary value can be placed on the item.  A dollar can be added for every syllable. And before you know it.... a baked potato is $50.  And some idiot will actually pay that.

Here is an example of the part of the menu that we might have been able

to afford

Are you seeing what I am seeing?

Pizza with pears?

Pizza with artichokes?

Pizza with fig jam?

What in THE hell is fig jam?

The 10" pizzas for $17 were the cheapest things on the menu by far.

BY FAR.

I started counting backwards from 10 in my head.

And I decided that when I got to 1, I was going to stand up and walk out and

go to Hard Rock by myself.  I think I was just brave enough to do that.

I could just sit by myself at a sad little table.  

I can do this.

6... 5....4....

Ima make a scene that I'll probably regret in 3 seconds

2.....  1....

I launched myself forward and with big eyes,  I sort of screamed at my poor mom who was sitting directly across from me....

"Has ANYONE seen ANYTHING on this menu that they even know what it is?

Raleigh whispers to me without looking at me, like he's a little kid in trouble "no, I don't see anything that I even want to order"

I said "then what the hell are we doing here?  Am I the only one who thinks this is 

stupid?  I can't pronounce 80% of what is on this menu.  We could be ordering

Goat's Balls for all we know.

We will never see these people again....  I say we get up and walk out.  What are they going to do arrest us?  I am sorry, but we have made a very bad decision here........  Well not so much WE as YOU- you have made a very bad decision" and I looked at Raleigh, who knew he was in BIG trouble and he just kept his head buried in his menu.

And then...... I look over at my dad at the end of the table and he was sucking down a 

COKE THAT HE HAD ORDERED

WHILE I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION.

And Brent had one too.   And then the waiter brought the baskets of bread that everyone started eating while I was making the speech the year...  eating the bread like they weren't even listening to  me... eating the free bread like they were intending to stay

....like traitors.... 

 and Kami's trying to divert my attention 

"EAT THE BREAD, KACI

JUST EAT THE BREAD"

But I just couldn't do it...

NO....  I'm leaving you fools.  I am going to Hard Rock where I am going to get a hamburger with pickles and some fries that I can afford and that I will actually enjoy.

AND I DON'T GIVE A FIG JAM IF IT'S A CHAIN.

And to my dismay, everyone kind of started jumping on board with me and starting acting like they were getting themselves ready to stand up soon...  although no one could fully commit.

Thankfully, Kami stood up and said "I think I can fix this."  She went over to the snotty hostesses and completely threw me under the bus.  (I suppose I deserved it).

"my sister is sick, like really sick and we need to leave."

Oh, they say, does she need to lay down?

"NO we just need to get her out of here.  FAST.

What do we owe you for 2 cokes and some bread?

Nevermind....  here is $10.00 that should cover it.

(And she threw a 10 at them)

Thank you,  your restaurant is very pretty.  

But we have to leave."

By this time the rest of us were already clear down the hall headed toward the elevator, holding the door and screaming for her to HURRY.

And I said to Brent as we were running, "I feel bad that we left her to fight our battle for us."

And he said, "are you kidding?  Do you know who she is?  She is the best fixer I know."

And my mom was getting nervous...

"get on the elevator everyone, hurry and push the one

PUSH THE ONE"...

(and we were not so gently shoving each other, so that we could be the first one on)

"We can't wait for her," mom said  "we just have to leave her here, she'll find us, she knows where the Hard Rock is.  She's a big girl....  PUSH THE ONE"

And just as the doors were about to close, we saw Kami's hands slide through the gap and she pried them open like a superhero and jumped on ...  and said "someone owes me TEN DOLLARS."

And we almost ran to The Hard Rock

just in case one of the hostesses was chasing after us.

I must say, it was delicious.

Screw you, Paul.

Your restaurant is ridiculous.

OH MY GOSH...  This was only our first night in town.

And we had already shamed ourselves.

I wondered what other damage the six of us were going to do to this town?

Raleigh and Me after we were all fed and happy again.

And after I had apologized to him for my behavior.

And he'd vowed not to have another opinion the entire trip.

PS I gave him permission to breathe again.

You can't tell but it was raining and the sky was so dark and beautiful

between the buildings.

Friday

We woke up early Friday morning and headed out on our own to find a 

hot chocolate and a scone.  We didn't have to go too far since there is a 

Starbucks on every corner.

We sat in a patio area and watched people walk by on their way to wherever. 

You can tell the locals...  they have their headphones in, they are physically fit, they

are walking with a purpose in sensible shoes with cross body bags most likely filled with

laptops and high heels.

I really wanted a photo by the LOVE statue because we didn't do that last time.

So, we went there first.

This day was warm and sunny. 

 Then we met every one at the Subway near our hotel.

The Subway was another adventure we missed out on in 2014.

Wellllllll.........  The Subway is so gross.  This particular station was 

especially gross and smelled of urine.
Also, there were rats the size of dogs running on the tracks.
I thought that was just a myth.

I literally had to go to a happy place in my mind because for a 

total germ freak...  this is quite possibly my worst nightmare.

I refused to touch anything, hand rails, poles, turnstyles...  you name it, I didn't touch it.

So naturally, I fell down the stairs a couple of times and I was a hot mess on the trains.

Because my body wasn't attached to anything, every bump or jolt sent me flying.
I was flopping around like a rag doll.
Because Raleigh was securely fastened to the train, I would try to hold on to him...
any body part I could find.  And he would let me although he was probably so bothered.
Also because I was being tossed to and fro...
I was motion sick most of the time.
It would take me like 30 minutes after each ride to return to normal.

Look at my family touching everything

SO GROSS

YEPPPPPPP!!!!

 We finally arrived at the World Trade Center.

 It's breathtakingly beautiful and peaceful there

There are two of these pools representing the two towers.

They are huge.  It's hard to tell in pictures.  But see the people across on the other side

they look like ants.  

The monuments are the largest man-made waterfalls in the nation.

They are entitled "Reflecting Absence" and are the footprints of the Twin Towers symbolizing 

the loss of life and the physical void left by the attacks.  

The sound of the water is very soothing and reverent.   And was designed to mute the 

sounds of the city.  

Each of the victims names are etched in the marble surrounding the fountains

and on the birthdays of each of the victims, a rose is placed on their name.

I loved it here.  I was completely humbled and could not imagine how it must have felt

that day.  It's absolutely the most beautiful part of the city.  Such a powerful way to say you can

scar us, but you will NEVER destroy us.

We will always rise up and be even better.

I loved being here.

 There are several parts of the museum that you can take photos of

several that you cannot.

I thought this was fascinating.

 This is what lunch hour looks like across the street from the WTC

So. Much. Fun

 It is SO hard to get a photo in front of the bull.  It is pure chaos there

with people trying to take pictures and it is in the middle of a forked road so

cars are whizzing by you at high speeds on both sides.  

But, we were victorious!!

Granted, it's on the wrong side, but who cares?

  We headed back to the hotel, changed our clothes and jumped

back on the Subway towards Yankee Stadium.

The whole reason that we came to NY in May instead of June which is our

actual anniversary month (other than the weather would be much nicer) was so that

my parents who are Yankees Fans could see their team beat Brent and Kami's team

(The Indians) at Yankee Stadium.

Whatever...

I think that baseball is the worst sport in the entire world to watch.

It is SO boring.

75% of the game, you are watching people warm up.

And in between the warm ups, when there is supposed to be action, there is very little action.

It was the longest game of my life. 

And of course this game was won with the very last batter in the very 

last inning with a full count.  That part was exciting... I guess.
I am just NOT a baseball girl.

I was glad that the Yankees won because my mom is a sore loser and

truthfully the win meant more to her than it did to the Indians fans.

 Nana is a Huge Aaron Judge fan

 

Yankee Stadium is pretty spectacular.

However, the food is crap.

All I wanted was a shake.  And they have these MONSTER

shakes with all kinds of candy from last year in them and whip cream 

and the whole shebang...  and it's aesthetically pleasing for sure... 

but the ice cream and the whip cream had ZERO flavor.  It was like I was eating cold nothing.

I'm sure I racked up a ton of flavorless calories too.
If I'm going to gain 2 pounds, I want to be able to say I throughly enjoyed myself doing so...
Not at Yankee Stadium folks.
Sneak your own treats in.

Saturday

Raleigh has been actively following and researching

his ancestry for a couple of years now.  His family is very rich

with history and good stories and wonderful people.

He kept watching to see if his brother, Spencer's temple work

had been done.  He expressed desire to do some of the work for him.

So, he called his dad and asked if he could.

And his dad said yes.

So, we went to the Manhattan Temple so that he could do that.

The temple is in the middle of the city and if you weren't paying close

attention, you would walk right by it.

There's good ole Moroni right there on top. 

 The Manhattan Temple is tiny.

But the workers are so darling.

They were SO happy that we were there.

And they are kind and easy and adaptable.
And casual.  I loved how casual they were.
They joked with us and made us feel right at home. 

We met some wonderful ladies.  

And we felt so good when we left and I know Raleigh

felt especially good and connected to his brother.

 We went back to the hotel and changed out of our 

church clothes and into Central Park clothes.

We stopped at Grand Central Station for some lunch

at the Shake Shack.

 I LOVED Grand Central Station.

It's so magical inside.

It's dark, so it makes you feel like it's overcast outside.

And there are people everywhere, going in all different directions.

I stood upstairs and imagined how it must of looked back when the

trains were running full time. 

I pictured women in swing dresses and Mary Janes and hats and gloves

and men with trousers and suspenders and overcoats 

hustling through there.

I could see them in my mind.

 Raleigh did some research on it and told me some of the secrets

which made me love it more.

There are secret tunnels that run underground and 

pop up at the Waldorf Astoria.  And this is how

FDR hid his polio from the public, by using those tunnels.

Famous people still use them today to sneak around.

 Raleigh was the designated route planner.

He was responsible to tell us which subways we 

needed to catch and where and when to get to our 

destinations.  He knew the difference between uptown and downtown

and green and red lines and how to get from point A to point B.

This is what he looked like for most of the trip.

 Central Park is amazing.

This day was overcast and cold and yet there were still

thousands of people in the park enjoying the day.

I think the pictures are prettier because the day was dark.

I loved being here.  

I had to go to the bathroom in Central Park.

Luckily, they have bathrooms.

Unfortunately, in my 29 years on this earth, I have NEVER been

in a grosser bathroom.  

I am pretty sure I got some HEP A on my pants in there.

I washed my hands at least 20 times, but the water was freezing and 

I felt like the germs never got off of me.

For the remainder of the day, I had the oooogies.

And I will have to burn my pants for sure.

Here we are at Tavern on the Green.

Such a darling restaurant right in the middle of the park

 We were about to head home and we were well within

decent walking distance of our hotel, when Kami got an idea to go to 

LeVains Bakery and get cookies.

"I think it's only a couple blocks that way" she said 

pointing North.

And some of us wanted cookies real bad.

So we headed off in a Northernly direction.

Turns out LeVains was quite far away.

And to make matters worse,  Brent and I started getting sick.

And to make matters worser, Nana's feet hurt.

Nevertheless, we trudged on

 There was quite a significant line in front, but we felt compelled to get in it

because we had come so far.

To our surprise, the line moved at a very rapid rate...

that is because it is like "The Soup Natzi" when you get inside there.

You better know what you want and NOW or get out and the place is as

big as a closet.  I was SO claustrophobic in there I could only stay for

one minute.  We bought 2 cookies and our bag easily weighed a pound.

 We crossed the street and stood under some scaffolding and ate

our cookies 

And then started on our trek back to the hotel.

Every one was doing pretty well considering we were approaching

30,000 steps for the day, except for Nana.  I thought she was going

to sit down and cry.  She was half a block behind us and she kept 

waiving us off if we looked like we were going to ask her how she was doing.

I was feeling so lousy by this point.

When I saw Radio City Music Hall, I knew we were almost home.

I took this picture mostly because it looked so pretty at dusk on this overcast day.

 When we got back, I laid down for a few minutes 

and then I got a fever with chills and body aches

THANK YOU JUAN CARLOS

I appreciate you giving me the black plague on the plane.

 I love being sick on vacation.  It's my favorite.

Sunday

A Miracle on Lexington Ave occurred and I woke up on Sunday

fever free and feeling kind of alright.

Sunday was the day that Mom and Dad and Brent and Kami 

were going to go to Wicked.

Raleigh and I decided to not pay $200 each to go to a show

because even though it's a Broadway Show and they are supposed to 

be good...  Musicals and Live Theater are #9 and #14 on my list of 

100 things I DON'T like to spend my money on....  So, we opted out.

And I didn't feel one ounce of regret over that decision.

We instead set out early to enjoy a day with just the two of us.

We went into Sojo and did some shopping and stopped at Starbucks for

our usual breakfast....

Today, they called me Keith.

Black people have a hard time with my name, I've come to understand.

Then we went to the Brooklyn Bridge.

I was feeling pretty good and so we walked the entire 

bridge both ways, even in uncomfortable shoes 

 The views of the city from the bridge were amazing.

I couldn't stop taking pictures of the buildings and Staten Island and

The Statue of Liberty and the boats and the other bridges.

And.... my cute husband

 It was so cold and windy, especially at the top and

I was still having body chills.  My coat was so warm though and as

long as I kept moving I was fine.  I didn't get credit for ANY of the

steps on the bridge because my hands were in my pockets the entire time.

I don't know how....  but I convinced Raleigh to take me back to

Grand Central Station one more time.

We stopped at Magnolia Bakery and people watched for

an hour.

 And we spent our last night back at Times Square

shopping for gifts for the kids

Monday

Our last day 

We woke up SO early, so that we could get to the 

Today Show by 7:00.

Our goal was to get on TV.

I deeply regretted that I had totally spaced making a sign

announcing our 10th anniversary.

When we arrived, we found out that we would be apart of

an attempt to break a Guinness Book of World Records for the 

most people simultaneously applying sunscreen.

So Weird.

But Who Cares.

Give Me a Free Shirt and Get Me On the Air. 

 We were in group 9....  rather toward the back of the crowd.

So, Mom and I immediately started working ourselves forward.

And dad and Raleigh casually followed us.

Before we knew it, we were pretty close to the front.

And then here came the Hosts.

First, Megyn Kelly.

She's just alright.

 Then Hoda and Savannah came out and THEY were

as cute as they could be.  Especially Hoda.  She is 

so genuinely nice to people and kind.  And she has tons of energy.

I really liked her.

 Al is a little lame

 "Hoda, it's me,  Hi"

I mean for real...  there we are front and center

well...  really back and center.

But center none the less

Our kids were at home watching us and said that they saw

us like 10 different times.  They were so excited.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

Wc can go home now.

 Final meal at The Smith

with every one texting and not talking.

Our friends were all texting us and saying that they

had seen us on TV.  Kami and Brent were on Fox News 13 at the 

same time we were on the Today Show.  

Such a great day

At the airport...  in order to get me through the second flight,

Raleigh bought me a 30 minute tension and relaxation massage.

It did the trick.

I was MOUTH WIDE OPEN sleeping and drooling

the entire flight.

And we landed in Vegas safely

And ended our trip with a shopping spree at the outlets in Vegas

I was FINALLY clean

I cannot say enough about the fabulous time

we all had in the greatest city in the world.

I love it with my whole soul.

I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to go AGAIN.

But, I am the most blessed because ten years ago

the greatest boy in the whole world took a chance on me

and asked me to be a part of his life.  

And works hard every day to make me the happiest wife on the earth.  

I cannot believe I am this happy.

A good marriage is truly a blessing.

I love you, Raleigh

more than my inadequate words can express.

Here's to 10 more years.

Where should we go in 2028?