I am an anxious person. I always have been. I worry about almost everything. I always have. It's a weird predicament when you only feel good when you are worrying about stuff. If a genie popped out of a bottle right now, the first of my three wishes would be "that I wouldn't CARE SO MUCH."
Raleigh is very helpful to me with this. I boo hoo to him when I am anxious and worrying and he is a voice of complete reason. Sometimes, he makes me so mad because he hears my concerns and then spins a positive and reasonable light on things and I feel silly for even speaking.
I have to say that I am SO proud of myself because THIS was a real thing, that I was well within my right to be jittery about and I handled it pretty well.
Here is why.
If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear.
We have been buying and storing water for years. 13 to be exact. Every Saturday, we go on our "date". Go to the Gym, go eat, go to Costco and go to Walmart. At Costco and Walmart, we buy our food and supplies for the week and also add to our food storage. Every week we buy a case of water and other large bulky items like TP, paper towels, peanut butter etc.
We are used to purchasing food and supplies for 9 people and now we are down to 6, yet we still buy for 9, plus we also have 5 daughters...... so we have TP for months. When the initial mayhem started, especially the TP and water meyhem, we just laughed.
We have a three month supply of pretty gross food that would feed us all just fine. We were cool as cucumbers.
On Saturday the 14th, we put our usual Walmart order in to be picked up later in the day and hit Costco like we have done every Saturday since we got married. And this is what we arrived to....
I could not believe my eyes. Where was all the meat? There was not a potato in the whole store. And even though I really had no reason to panic, I started panicking. It was honestly one of the scariest things I have ever seen. I've seen movies where people are panicking and they go to the store and there is nothing on the shelves. And that is what it looked like. I think I half way expected to turn around and see the walking dead coming toward me.
We left there to go pick up our Walmart Order, only to find out that our order had been canceled due to lack of inventory. So we went into the store instead and this is what it looked like.
Right before Church meetings were cancelled, International Travel was cancelled, Raleigh got to work from home for 2 months, and school was cancelled.... The kids enjoyed the last week of school with some fun celebrations. Crazy Hair Day.
Spring Choir Concerts with best friends
Idiom Parades with best friends
KK started piano lessons and she is really good
Here she is practicing before school in her pajamas.
Such darling little kids who had no clue there was literally NO FOOD OR WATER in their town.
We continued trudging on.
Raleigh and the kids self quarantined while I continued living normal life.
Woke up at 5:30
Walked on the treadmill for an hour and lifted weights for 15 minutes while watching Home Town and Fixer Upper (I am running out of episodes to watch).
Then I would get ready for work.
I work in the hospitality industry, which a horrible industry to work in right now.
This thing they call "Shelter In Place" didn't sound terrible to me by any means.
I have people who are running my company who are saying things like
"no one will shoot you or arrest you if you go into the office even if there is an order"
In other words, go into the office and work.
Even if there is an order.
Even if one of your eyes is falling out.
Well I am a law abiding citizen, you idiots.
I also kindof need my job
So... I am the only one leaving my home.
Moving on....
We continued trudging on.
Raleigh and the kids self quarantined while I continued living normal life.
Woke up at 5:30
Walked on the treadmill for an hour and lifted weights for 15 minutes while watching Home Town and Fixer Upper (I am running out of episodes to watch).
Then I would get ready for work.
I work in the hospitality industry, which a horrible industry to work in right now.
This thing they call "Shelter In Place" didn't sound terrible to me by any means.
I have people who are running my company who are saying things like
"no one will shoot you or arrest you if you go into the office even if there is an order"
In other words, go into the office and work.
Even if there is an order.
Even if one of your eyes is falling out.
Well I am a law abiding citizen, you idiots.
I also kindof need my job
So... I am the only one leaving my home.
Moving on....
Who could forget that THIS happened in March?
I got sucked into this nightmare by Allie, who wanted me to watch with her so we could bond and have common interests. I dragged Raleigh in with me and we faithfully sat on the couch, the three of us, every Monday and CRACKED UP week after week.
If I am being honest, it was REALLY fun and it was a bonding experience.
Until BARB happened.
Barb has a mental illness that is obvious.
And she has over the years manipulated and trained her poor subjugated husband to go her way OR ELSE... and he's possibly the nicest man on the planet, but she has conditioned him to tow her line and so by default, he looks a nasty as she does and faces the same destiny
Attention Controlling and Mentally Ill Mothers everywhere: It IS possible for your children to pick the love of their own life even if it's not who YOU would have chosen for them. And news flash: they just may actually be happier and like 1000 times more successful in their lives with THEIR choice over the chick you chose. Happy and successful.... who wouldn't want those things for their children?
.................................
Wait... am I saying this and did I get SO upset because I am horribly triggered?
Unfortunately.
YOU SUCK BARB!!
You messed me up for three days.
Raleigh needed a desk, if he was going to work from home for two months.
All non essential stores are closed in our town and so that left the poor guy with only one choice...
he had to make his own.
Hate to state the obvious, but that doesn't seem to be a problem for him
We continued trudging along with our super weird month.
No church, no school, home school, Raleigh worked from home, buying whatever food we could get our hands on, sending money to our kids in Kansas. Quincey came over for dinner every night. We learned new phrases like "Shelter in Place" and "Covid-19" and "enforceable quarantine" and "Social Distancing" and our state's mantra: "stay home, stay safe"
I, of course went to work day after day (after all, both of my eyes were still in tact, not that it mattered) and I watched the biggest freak show I have ever seen in my entire life from a front row, center seat.
I have never in my life seen a bunch of grown adults fall apart faster and in a more dysfunctional way.
We lost 4 very significant and influential employees in a two hour period. It was like watching Dominoes fall and with each one, the anxiety grew and grew. And those of us who were left behind didn't know if we were coming or going.
What a Mess!
And I kept praying, even though I felt like I was burdening my Heavenly Father with my relatively trivial problems given the current state of the world.
Relatively trivial even though they seemed HUGE to me and I really needed His guidance and direction, but more than anything, His peace.
On one of the worst days of the month, our long time friend called us out of the blue and extended an offer to us that will start to unfold in the next couple of months and will change everything for us and all I could think was how ironic it was that...
I read this phrase on Instagram in the morning
Prayed and expressed my dreams
Had a horrible afternoon
Got an unexpected phone call
Changed the course of my life
And wrapped up the day in total peace
I got sucked into this nightmare by Allie, who wanted me to watch with her so we could bond and have common interests. I dragged Raleigh in with me and we faithfully sat on the couch, the three of us, every Monday and CRACKED UP week after week.
If I am being honest, it was REALLY fun and it was a bonding experience.
Until BARB happened.
Barb has a mental illness that is obvious.
And she has over the years manipulated and trained her poor subjugated husband to go her way OR ELSE... and he's possibly the nicest man on the planet, but she has conditioned him to tow her line and so by default, he looks a nasty as she does and faces the same destiny
Which is not helping any one.
.................................
Wait... am I saying this and did I get SO upset because I am horribly triggered?
Unfortunately.
YOU SUCK BARB!!
You messed me up for three days.
Raleigh needed a desk, if he was going to work from home for two months.
All non essential stores are closed in our town and so that left the poor guy with only one choice...
he had to make his own.
As soon as he is finished with it, Peyton will have the coolest desk in her room
We continued trudging along with our super weird month.
No church, no school, home school, Raleigh worked from home, buying whatever food we could get our hands on, sending money to our kids in Kansas. Quincey came over for dinner every night. We learned new phrases like "Shelter in Place" and "Covid-19" and "enforceable quarantine" and "Social Distancing" and our state's mantra: "stay home, stay safe"
I, of course went to work day after day (after all, both of my eyes were still in tact, not that it mattered) and I watched the biggest freak show I have ever seen in my entire life from a front row, center seat.
I have never in my life seen a bunch of grown adults fall apart faster and in a more dysfunctional way.
We lost 4 very significant and influential employees in a two hour period. It was like watching Dominoes fall and with each one, the anxiety grew and grew. And those of us who were left behind didn't know if we were coming or going.
What a Mess!
And I kept praying, even though I felt like I was burdening my Heavenly Father with my relatively trivial problems given the current state of the world.
Relatively trivial even though they seemed HUGE to me and I really needed His guidance and direction, but more than anything, His peace.
On one of the worst days of the month, our long time friend called us out of the blue and extended an offer to us that will start to unfold in the next couple of months and will change everything for us and all I could think was how ironic it was that...
I read this phrase on Instagram in the morning
Prayed and expressed my dreams
Had a horrible afternoon
Got an unexpected phone call
Changed the course of my life
And wrapped up the day in total peace
I can't even speculate why it is that we continue to be blessed over and over and over.
Nevertheless, it will get me through the next 5 or 6 months of COMPLETE AND TOTAL WORK LIFE HELL
I have to give the loudest shout out to my utterly amazing (and in my opinion) PERFECT husband who generated hundreds of thousands of dollars for his company from our spare bedroom on a homemade desk while...
loving our kids
keeping them fed and happy
homeschooling them
cleaning the house
having dinner ready when I walked in the door at night
listening to me, every single day, while I sobbed uncontrollably and let out all of my work stress and told him every single word of the unbelievable drama that occurred daily.... hourly.
He hunted and gathered food and provisions with all of the senior citizens before the sun came up
and tutored the children in the afternoon...
(Peyton video chatting with her teacher)
(Ryker busting out math assignments in record time and attending virtual speech class)
(KK taking piano lessons via Zoom)
He kept us all laughing and entertained and made sure we weren't scared or nervous
and lead us in spiritual activities that only a worthy priesthood holder could do.
I cannot express how lucky and blessed I am to have him as my companion and my best friend.
I love him more than I can properly express with adequate words.
A cute story:
First day of home schooling was complicated to say the least.
We have three kids in three grades with three different schedules.
It was very hard to navigate the video chats and the group assignments with laptops here and iPads there. Raleigh was a little frustrated. I would have drastically failed if I had been the teacher. So glad it was him and not me.
He wrote all of their assignments out on a board and challenged them to try and navigate their own schedules as best they could.
Nevertheless, he was struggling to keep everyone on the right schedule and on task.
All of the sudden, KK was missing. So he went looking for her and she was in her bedroom with the door closed watching Youtube and dancing.
He said (stearnly) "WHAT ARE YOU DOING watching Youtube and dancing when you are supposed to be in school?
And she got teary and said "my PE class is exercises with a link that is on Youtube and I am supposed to be stretching but I didn't want to do it in front of all of you or you would laugh at me, so I came in here by myself"
Raleigh said... My heart broke and I grabbed her and sat on the bed hugging her and apologizing. Then I stretched with her and did the exercises with her with a lump in my throat."
We are going to get through this and we will never forget 2020 will we?
A few wonderful things came out of all of this mess...
One of them being the return of our wonderful Argentine Missionary.
Nana dropped poster boards off at the porch to these beautiful girls and they made the cutest posters to welcome him home.
We all met at the St. George Airport at 9:00.
There were 20 missionaries scheduled on the flight.
The families met in the parking lot in front of the main entrance.
It was so strange. When the Elders would walk out, their family would quietly cheer for them
and then quickly leave with them.
It was dark, so we could hardly see and you could tell people were being cautious.
Unlike his brother (who was a deer in the headlights) when Grant got off the plane...
he was SO excited to see us and was the life of the party with his gigantic smile
and he was vibrant and animated.
He was so much fun.
Finally and not a moment too soon
We are going to get through this and we will never forget 2020 will we?
A few wonderful things came out of all of this mess...
One of them being the return of our wonderful Argentine Missionary.
Nana dropped poster boards off at the porch to these beautiful girls and they made the cutest posters to welcome him home.
There were 20 missionaries scheduled on the flight.
The families met in the parking lot in front of the main entrance.
It was so strange. When the Elders would walk out, their family would quietly cheer for them
and then quickly leave with them.
It was dark, so we could hardly see and you could tell people were being cautious.
he was SO excited to see us and was the life of the party with his gigantic smile
and he was vibrant and animated.
He was so much fun.
Finally and not a moment too soon
Since March was the longest year of our lives....
Allie, amazing Allie graduated from High School two months early with a 4.0
We are not thinking that graduation will happen for seniors this year.
She also...
We are not thinking that graduation will happen for seniors this year.
She also...
Applied for the Physical Therapy Assistant Program at Provo College by herself
attended 4 over the phone interviews thanks to Social Distancing.
Applied for Financial Aid
and is packing up to move to her own apartment on May 8th to start real life college classes.
She did it all on her own with NO help from me.
She did it all on her own with NO help from me.
I have never been more proud of her. She will graduate in 21 months if she can pass Human Anatomy and Physics that is.... and it's totally okay if she doesn't because I couldn't do that if my life depended on it. I love her with my whole heart. She is the greatest person.
We are overwhelmed and confused, as is the whole world.
This has really turned every thing upside down.
Nothing that was normal is normal right now.
There is a new normal.
Some of it, I absolutely LOVE and I wish it would stay
Some of it is the worst and I can't wait for it to be over.
The best thing that came from all of this confusion is we didn't have to go to Maui
I am SO happy and relieved about that.
NOW, we will be "Sheltered In Place" during the April 2020 unforgettable Conference that our prophet told us about 6 months ago.
I am so excited to get to watch that uninterrupted.
Also, we saved a ton of money this month.
That is a great thing
I love this family of mine and I pray as I write this that we will all be safe and healthy through this horrible pandemic.
I cannot think of a better group of people to go through the plague with than them.
I love every single one of them with all my heart.
I am so grateful to my parents for supporting us every single day
They are there for me at work every day and they save me all the time.
They come over for dessert every Sunday and we talk for hours. It is so fun
I don't know what we would do without them.
I am grateful our whole family got to be together at Outback for dinner before the quarantine happened.
I am grateful for evenings with most of my kids.
I am grateful for my super cute house which I love to come home to and and shut out the world.
I am grateful for the gospel in our lives and... I cannot wait to hear when Jesus is coming ;)
I am so grateful to my parents for supporting us every single day
They are there for me at work every day and they save me all the time.
They come over for dessert every Sunday and we talk for hours. It is so fun
I don't know what we would do without them.
I am grateful our whole family got to be together at Outback for dinner before the quarantine happened.
I am grateful for evenings with most of my kids.
I am grateful for my super cute house which I love to come home to and and shut out the world.
I am grateful for the gospel in our lives and... I cannot wait to hear when Jesus is coming ;)
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