October 2025

Oh October

How do I start the October post with regular totally unimportant events?

How is it that life is just going to go on just as it normally would with people behaving as they normally do like the most devastatingly sad thing didn't happen?

I am completely different in October than I was in September.

Changed

I will not be able to do October justice with words

It's just not possible

I will try to write the events correctly, so that it is historically documented.

Everybody's experience was different.

Here is my version.

The company that I work for is heavily involved in The Make-a-Wish Foundation

We have awarded 4 proclamations so far and have donated hundreds of thousands of dollars.

It is a wonderful thing.  

My heart breaks everytime we see the initial video of the child that we are 

making a wish come true for.

I am always SO happy to be on the decorations committee

but then I have to duck out before the child arrives.

I just cannot be there for that part. 

I would be in the corner bawling my head off and it would be distracting

This particular boy is a Dodger fan and he is going to see his favorite player

Mookie Betts in person and be on the field with the team in 2026

for his proclamation wish.

The best looking decoration committee around

Raleigh smoked a brisket on Conference Saturday

it was gigantic and it smelled divine. 

Kori and Russ spent the morning/afternoon of October 4th moving in.

They arrived on Friday night at 10:30 and the next morning 

35 men from their old/new ward showed up to help them move in.

They were completely unloaded in 40 minutes

 

Russ used the U-Haul to take Kori's wheel chair over to their house 

and he moved her in.

The Hospice Nurse went over to get them all set up and made arrangements to 

have a hospital bed and a sling delivered first thing on Monday morning

While the brisket was smoking, we went over to the high school to watch Walt's game

He played Slot Receiver

Running Back

Defensive tackle

and punter

He was in on every play and made some REALLY big plays.

He caught several passes for lots of yards

He had a big sack and he did a celebratory dance called 

The Sexy Dexy afterward.

It was the greatest thing I have ever seen...

but his coaches were yelling 

"Ryker, calm down, you can't celebrate"

Sexy Dexy had a bunch of cute, older girl fans in the stands

who kept yelling his name and cheering for him.

No wonder he had the game of his life

On Sunday, in between conference sessions

we went over to see Kori and deliver the brisket. 

Nearly her whole family was there with the exception of Gracie

and Kami and Brent.

We visited with them. 

I was so sad to see that the tumor was putting pressure on her nerves and

had caused one eye to completely close and the other eye to only be partially opened.

As we were standing there, I said to Rals....  "here, take our picture really quickly

and Russ told her to smile and she obediently did.

For the last couple of months, her memory has been very confused. 

Everytime Russ would ask her what today is

She would say...  it's January.

She would have trouble recognizing certain people.

So, I got right in her face and I asked her if she knew who I was and she said..... 

"you are Kaci"

and then Russ said

"Kori, who is Kaci married to?"

and she said "Oh... Raleigh.  He is standing right there."

and she nodded in his direction.

I will forever cherish this picture

Monday morning Peyton got her braces off

We met her at the orthodontist office so we could gush over

her and take pictures

I went back to work because I had a bunch of interviews that I had to sit in on.

One of them was Russ. 

He was coming in for an interview with my boss at 1:00 for a big time position that

just happened to open up right as they moved here.

I mentioned to him that we had a position opening up and he should apply for it.

To my surprise, he did.

We interviewed our 12:00 girl and she was super chatty.  Her interview went until

12:55.  I was surprised that Russ was not already there.

But we went into my boss' office to discuss the interview that we just wrapped up.

We kept talking and talking and I was getting more and more nervous that 

Russ wasn't there yet.  

I said to Cheyenne...  "I am nervous that Russ isn't here yet

it's not like him to be late.

See if you have a message from him."

She checked her phone and she gasped really loudly and instantly started crying

"OH KACI.....  OH KACI.....

your sister.

I am so sorry!  I am so sorry"!

I said "what? Did she die?"

Chey, did she die?

And she couldn't speak but she just shook her head yes.

She just showed me a text from Russ that said...

Cheyenne I am so sorry that I will not be able to be at my interview 

as my wife has just passed away.

I was in shock.

Every one that was in the room rushed all around me and put their arms around me

but I was in total shock. 

I just sat there staring straight ahead with zero emotion.

Why wasn't I crying?

Why was I just sitting there?

I couldn't move.

It wasn't supposed to happen this way. 

I wasn't supposed to find out like this.

I just saw her.

She just got here.

They hadn't been here for 60 hours

I got up and went into my office.

My legs were shaking and my hands were tingling.

I saw on my phone that I had 10 missed calls and about 20 missed text messages

from Rals, my mom and my dad.

Raleigh had even tried to ping my phone which makes a really loud and annoying alert.

But I wasn't in my office, so I didn't hear it. 

He also tried calling a couple of my co-workers, but they weren't near their phones either.

I grabbed my purse and my drink and headed to the car.

It wasn't until I was in the elevator that it hit me and by the time I got to my car I was hysterical.

My boss took the stairs and was running after me.  

She was trying to stop me from getting in my car 

and she was begging me to let her drive me to Kori's house. 

I just sobbed standing there by my car.

"I can't go over there Chey!

I can't see her like that.

They are going to come and take her away and they'll put her in a bag.

And I can't be there for that.

I don't want to go.

I just want to stay here."

Raleigh called me while we were standing there and I said all of those same things to him.

He told me just to come and he would meet me in the driveway.

I was shaking so badly by the time I arrived.

I was so sad, shocked, scared and sick.

There was NO WAY I was going to go into that house. 

The whole family was standing outside waiting for me when I got there.

I just hugged everyone.  I could hardly speak.

Luckily, there is a little porch bench by their front door.

I sat on that bench for 2 hours before I summoned up enough courage to finally go in.

She looked like she was just sleeping in her chair.

Her skin was white and all of her freckles and blemishes were so dark.

Her hands were folded in her lap

and she looked very peaceful.

I took a quick look and then I went back outside.  

At around 3:00 the men moved her into the hospital bed that was in the front bedroom.

I didn't/couldn't watch that, but I think it must have been pretty upsetting

because my dad and Raleigh came out crying so hard and were very visably upset.

Russ didn't want to call the mortuary until Gracie had a chance to say good bye to her.

She was driving down from BYU.

So we all sat in the kitchen/dining room and talked and cried for another hour.

Chey brought like 8 pizzas for us to eat

Russ told us that earlier this morning, he wheeled Kori out to the driveway, so they could 

watch the sun come up.  He asked her if she knew where she was.

Fully expecting that she would not know because she had been really confused.

But she said "I am home."

What a significant moment.

Our little kids came over when they got out of school and 

Russ hooked up his guitar to the amp and let Peyton play for us

When the time came for him to make the call to the mortuary, we left.  

And I drove home and looked at all of the people driving

home from work, going about their day, normal like,

their hearts didn't seem like they were wrenching, their eyes weren't swollen shut.

I took Tuesday off.  

I woke up with slits for eyes and a horrible headache.

I went for a walk 

I worked a while from home

I went to the mall and looked for a dress.

I cried now and then... off and on.

Tuesday October 7th was a wonderful day and I wanted more of them.

I wanted to take every day off for the next month, if they all could have been like this one.

But...

I would have been antsy and the emails would have piled up and work load would have been 

too much.  So I went back to work.  

And boy did I walk into a mess.

For the next 3 days I dealt with a landslide

I welcomed the distraction.  It was complicated and I loved the complexity of it.

When I wasn't working....  we were planning the upcoming viewing/funeral.

We went with Russ to the mortuary to pick out the casket and headstone 

and to plan the program and the flowers and what in the world are we doing????

I took crazy notes in my book.

Not that I want an education on this particular subject, but I do kindof need to know 

how it all works.

I can safely say I don't like it at all.

The next week was all family all the time.

I will transparently admit that it was a fabulous week.

Like one of my favorite weeks ever.

We were all together every day for a week.

We looked at pictures for hours.  Pictures I had completely forgotten about.

Events from my past that Raleigh had never heard about...photos he had never seen.

We reminisced and laughed and remembered.

SO FUN!!

Wednesday morning, October 15th was dark and rainy and cold.

I super unfortunately threw my back out 30 minutes after I woke up on this day.

I was in a fair amount of pain and I had to walk like a grandma. 

This was a perfect day to not be at work.  A perfect day to be in sweats. 

A perfect day to sit at the kitchen table with my only sister that I have physically with me here on earth, having the greatest conversation 

while we planned and wrote our sister's eulogy.

It should have been sad...  it wasn't.

That night we celebrated Dad's birthday at Longhorn Steakhouse.

His 82nd birthday was to be shared with Kori's funeral.  He was happy to share the day with her

but we wanted to celebrate him on a happier day.

Thursday morning at 7:30, we found ourselves at the Red Cliffs Temple

for our friend's Victor and Sarah's Sealing.

It was a very welcomed distraction and the ceremony was amazing.

I was so glad to be there

I went straight from the temple to the church to set up the Kori Tables.

They were amazing if we do say so ourselves.

I loved them and I was so proud to be her sister.

We went straight from the table decorating party to the mortuary.

Russ had asked us to dress Kori.

I will not go into much detail, but I lost it and completely fell apart at this event.

I coudn't stand up

I couldn't watch

I couldn't participate.

I sat in a chair and cried so uncontrollably that I was doing that snorting sound that people do when they can't control their sobbings and I went through half a box of tissues.

SO BAD

But here is proof that I tried.  I knew I wasn't going to do well at this part.  I was, to say the least

terrified and horrified and physically ill.

But I showed up and was in the room.

And....I will NEVER do that again.

It is just something my soul cannot handle.

I managed to smile in this picture but I was so so sad and totally overwhelmed!!

We went straight from this event to change into our clothes for the Thursday night Viewing.

I was almost mostly recovered by the time it started

This was a great night.

So many fun friends came.

The vibe was casual and light hearted.

We just sat and visited and laughed and talked to people we haven't seen for years/decades.

My back was killing me in my 6 inch heels.

Friday, October 17, 2025,  was the greatest day.

I loved every minute of it.  

It could not have gone better.  It was fun, and so full of love everywhere we turned.

I freaking loved my dress.

I got a bonus at work in September and I told myself I was going to spend a large portion

of it on a super cute dress that would make me feel happy at my sister's funeral because

I would need to feel happy about something on that day whenever it ended up being. 

I never thought it would be three weeks later.

But I spent a lot of money on this dress

and I am not feeling one ounce of guilt over that.

I worked hard for that bonus.

I love that darling dress.  

Oh my gosh... these girls are such great long time friends!!

Does anyone think it was weird that the receiving line consisted of 

Russ, Dad, Raleigh and Brent?

I don't think so either.

They had the best time and everyone loved them

Look at that darling husband

We got to say our final good-byes

The Hyde Family

The Little Family

Kori's Kids

Kami and I did a pretty good job on the Eulogy

It was funny and entertaining and light...

the only way we were ever going to be able to get through it

Ten of the Twelve grandchilren

These cousins really love each other

The food at the luncheon was so good.

We were all starving

That night we all got together to celebrate Papa one more time

and the kids played games together and had so much fun talking and laughing.

What are the literal chances the five of them had DS gaming systems

and that they brought them with them.

0/10

But there they were playing Mariocart on systems from the early 2000's.

Saturday was football all day.

It was the Holy War

And BYU WON!!

Walt's game was in Mesquite at 9:15

As absolutely unbelievable as it feels...

Life goes on after someone passes away.

It feels totally wrong.

But knowing what we know about the Plan of Salvation

or the Plan of Happiness and knowing where Kori was on the Covenant Path

helps us to know exactly where she is right now.

And knowing that, makes it possible for us to continue on with our attempt to 

Endure to the End of our life journey.

So I will continue.

Ryker was Student of the Month

in September but wasn't honored until October.

He was given a trophy and a certificate.

He is so darling.

That award says 

"He cares so much about other people's feelings"

I don't care what could have been said about my child,

this is the greatest of all words.

My heart was bursting with pride

Oh my....  company photo day came around again

This is my 4th one

It takes 45 minutes for us to get set up and 2 1/2 minutes to take the photos.

I stood by my favorite people and had a fun time even though it was company photo day

Ryker ended his 8th grade football season as the 

Swiss Army Knife of his team.

In his last two games he had two sacks, a touchdown and several fantastic punts,

He played slot receiver, tight end, defensive back, punter, special teams and center.

My favorite part about this team is the coach is a bishop

and he has the team pray before each game.  

They have several boys on their team that are not members

and it's a good thing to teach them

This was the beginning of his touchdown

Halloween, the worst holiday of the year, looked like this for me

for about 43 minutes.

I couldn't wait to get out of this getup.

Our "Wrong FRED" team won $100 

I cannot believe how fast this month went by.

It came and was gone in a flash.

A major life event will do that for you, I suppose.

There were ups and downs in October, but mostly ups.

My boss offered Russ the job after several impressive interviews.

We hope he will accept.

I will end with some of the words from our Eulogy, so that we can remember what we said

and remember how we felt.

WE LOVE YOU KORI

When I was 16 years old, I received my Patriarchal Blessing.  And in the very first paragraph it says…. I feel to tell you that your parents have known you much longer than your present age tells me.  In the spirit world, you covenanted with them that if the Lord would be willing, you would be their child… if you would be obedient and faithful in keeping the commandments of the gospel.  

This knowledge has meant so much to our Little family all these years because it told us two things.

1.  Our parents were meant to be together.  That is very comforting for kids to know that about their parents.  At least it was for us. 

2. And it made us think that there may have been a chance that we as pre-mortal spirit children of our Heavenly Father had some input into how our life would play out on earth.

When Kori was first diagnosed and she was given 11 months to live, we were all very heartbroken and had so many questions.  Top of the list….  Why?  Why is this happening and why is it happening to her? 

My first reaction to those questions was based on the knowledge I just shared….  Maybe she had a say in this.  Knowing what I know about her and how she lived her life up to that point, it completely jived with her need to excel, to do things the hard way and to be the best.  It totally made sense to me that IF she had been given the opportunity to plan out her journey, Kori absolutely would have said “give me a super hard trial.  I am so strong and I can do it.”

For some reason, this thought process helped me to be able to deal with all of the events that would take place over the next 10 plus years.  

Five years later in the infamous April 2020 General Conference, President Oaks gave a talk called The Great Plan….  Where in he said.

All the mortals born to this earth chose the Father’s Plan and fought for it in the Heavenly contest that followed.

Many also made covenants with the father concerning what they would do in mortality. 

In ways that have not yet been revealed…  our actions in the spirit world have influenced our circumstances in mortality.

Sometimes our needed growth is achieved better by suffering and adversity than by comfort and tranquility.  And none of this mortal opposition could achieve its eternal purpose if divine intervention relieved us from all the adverse consequences of mortality.  In Abraham 3:25 the Lord says “We will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them.” 

Is it possible that our agency could have been used in this way? 

I firmly and strongly believe that just as Kori may have used her agency to plan her life pre-mortally

I also believe she perfectly orchestrated her death.

I believe that while we thought she was sleeping for all of those months, she was working with angels to provide Russ with an opporunity to move back to St. George. She knew he needed to be here, surrounded with family when she died.

The thought of him dealing with that all alone in Eugene, was something she couldn't bear to think about.

I believe that she was waiting and holding on until he could be here with all of us to help him through.

They hadn't been in St George for 60 hours when she passed away quietly all by herself sitting in her chair at the very table in the very room where their family had studied scriptures every morning for years.

Russ found her.

And within one hour he was surrounded by SO many family members... almost all of them.

There is not a chance in my mind that she didn't plan her death as perfectly as she chose to live her life.

She was thinking of him.

She was thinking of her children.

She was thinking of us.