Controlled Chaos

As a young girl, I did not deal with change well. I hated a new school year with a new teacher and new kids. I didn't like it when the church time changed and especially when we switched to the three hour block. That nearly killed me. I didn't like new rules. Changes in policies. Body changes.

But as I became an adult, I sort of starting appreciating change. It was fun to start new adventures and to be able to do new things and experience new things. I moved 11 times between my 18th and 28th years of life. It was fun to see new places and meet new people.

As any parent knows, children cause tremendous changes. And I rolled with the new changes with gladness. And for the longest time, my life with kids was "the same". The same mundane, tedious tasks occurring over and over every single day. A nice little routine allowing me to sink deeply into mediocrity.

However all of the sudden, it's different. I mean, I think it's been happening slowly over the past 2 or so years, but like a freight train hitting me in the head..... yesterday....... I noticed.

Not one of my school kids came home from school. All four of them went various places. I got four different texts disclosing the locations of each child.

1. Brayden (my gamer/skater) and two of his buddies piled into a big white truck, driven by a 16 year old that I hope had a state issued driver's license and some skilled driving instincts (and although I didn't ask for any proof of his credentials) I reluctantly agreed to allow them to drive safely down to the Lehi Pawn Shop (their new favorite hang out) to get new parts for their long boards they are building.

2. Quincey (my princess) and her friend and FOUR boys walked over to the church to help decorate for some big party. It was only because the event was taking place at the church that I for some reason thought that this wasn't considered "a date" but it looked sort of "datey" as they were walking down the street. And I will admit that those boys were DARLING and I had a little sense of "that's my girl" and I was thrilled that those girlies were totally outnumbered 2 to 1 by really fine young men.

3. Morgan (my bookworm) and her friend built cardboard rockets out of tubes which they somehow figured out how to launch using what I am sure were illegal fire crackers. But how can you not be excited about the innovation of a rocket launch and the possibility that she could possibly get into a good institution of higher learning with a scholarship some day?

4. And Allie (my jock) went to her friend Alex's house and they took off up into the hills to look for Arrowheads and other treasures. And luckily didn't find themselves a rattlesnake or a broken bone.

I realized that my parenting adventures have drastically changed. I am no longer the "center" of their world. I don't have to be there at all times entertaining them. I am no more than a secretary now, taking the incoming calls/information, organizing on the whiteboard in my kitchen (with different colored dry erase markers) where each child is, what they are doing and when they will be home. My job now is simply to try to keep track of who is where and what is being done. Verifying that they really are where they said they were going to be and hanging out with good kids. And issuing punishments on those little buggers who come home too late or who went somewhere other than the place they said they were going (Quincey).

It's like I have two separate parental lives. The new one with these big kids and the old familiar tedious one with the little ones. It's crazy, but I have to admit that I really do love the change. I love to see the independence that is taking place. The growth that is occurring. And the potential on the horizon. Each one of them, who were raised exactly the same is taking their individual lives in their own direction. All of them good, all of them drastically different.

It's all I ever wanted for myself. To be the master of "controlled chaos". And every night when I go around and count the little heads in the little beds knowing that they have all returned to me from their adventures, unharmed and for the most part, happy. I have no choice but to consider myself successful.

Not that I wouldn't welcome the change of a nice long kid free vacation with the love of my life though. HINT HINT