Glass Half Full

What is a pessimist?  The Urban Dictionary defines it as a person who is known for their negative outlook upon life.

Hmmmmmmmm..... Negative Outlook?  No, that's not me. 

I think that a better way to describe me is a realist.

A realist has a firm grip on reality and can see things for what they are and not for what they are told they are.  They have had many experiences with which to draw from and they do not fall victim to misconceptions, propaganda or the opinions of others. 

Optimist: Sees the glass as half full
Pessimist: Sees the glass and half empty
Realist:  Sees a glass with liquid in it

I have had many more life experiences than the average person my age.  I would never say that they have been all bad.  I would never wish that any of them hadn't happened.  All have been for my learning and growth.  But, I firmly do believe that certain people are drawn to (or maybe more accurately said) create these experiences in their lives.  Maybe because the same lessons need to be learned over and over...  I dunno...

My husband, bless his beating heart is a cock eyed optimist.  Either because nothing bad has EVER happened to the guy OR he just doesn't let stuff bother him when bad things do happen.  But, I am going to go with the first thing.  As a result of him leading this charmed life, he looks at EVERY situation a little differently than the average, dare I say normal person would.  And then when a person (me) draws on her VAST life experiences when we are in the midst of a decision and errs on the side of caution or maybe acts reluctantly or (heaven forbid) is not wanting to do the thing at all..........  I am perceived and/or called NEGATIVE or PESSIMISTIC.  And it sends me into a rage.  How dare he?  Where does he get all his knowledge?  What pray tell is he drawing from to arrive at such blissful conclusions?  Why is he so positive about everything?  It's annoying.

Let me give you an example:

We bought a car.  And it has 22s (low profile) tires on it with custom rims..... because why wouldn't it?  And the back rear tire was in bad shape.  Or rather so bald there was NO TREAD ON IT WHATSOEVER.  And on our trip to St. George in March, my dad mentions to the happy go lucky/not a care in the world/male member of our coupleship that the tire is scary and needs to be replaced.

Here is what Raleigh heard:  Your tire is bald and needs to be replaced
Here is what Raleigh thought: Angels are flying above us and will carry our car along at whatever speed we wish to go and however far we drive we will arrive at our destination in complete safety with no harm or accident.

And we did.

On our next visit to St. George in June my brother in law, Brent says "hey dude, your tire is crap"

Here is what Raleigh heard:  hey dude your tire is crap
Here is what Raleigh thought:  We will gently float along on our journey home with no bumps or cares and we will gently glide over every pot hole and rock and the cosmos will see to it that our vehicle will arrive safe and sound back in our driveway.

And it did.

Well, last week, Morgan and I decide to take a little road trip and we unfortunately took Peyton and Ryker with us.  And I said "what about the tire?"

Here is what Raleigh heard:  What about the tire?
Here is what Raleigh thought: Oh my Lover, you will be fine.  Don't you stress about a thing.  The stars will align and you will arrive as you left.

Only.............  and here is why I am A REALIST.............

I HAD A BLOW OUT AT MILE MARKER 197.  IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY. 100 DEGREES OUTSIDE. IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. WITH CHILDREN.

Did we have a blow out while Mr. Rose Colored Glasses was in the car?  HELL NO!!

The blow out (or let me rephrase) the monumental rubber eruption followed by a half a mile of correcting and overcorrecting, trying not to roll, screaming every swear word in the book, screeching to a stop in the dirt, churning up a wall of dust,  followed by heart destroying heavy breathing, shaking and then crying happened to The Realist.  The experience laden helpless female with far too many offspring to count.

After I recovered my phone from the passengers side back seat under the entire bag of spilled fish crackers, I called Raleigh bawling...  "what the hell am I going to do?  I don't even know where the (bleep, bleep) spare is much less how to change it.  Get out here and rescue me. (bleep bleep)"

And he says  "We have roadside assistance, call a tow truck, he'll change it for you."

"BLEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, an hour later here comes Brother Anderson from Nephi, Utah in his A1 Tow Truck.  He is the cutest old man, with the thickest Utah accent I have ever heard saying all kinds of phrases like "I seen your skid marks from a mile back"
and "you got fancy spokes, I don't got the tool to take them off."  and then the worst one "I gotta put you up on the truck and tow ya back into town and hope Willy has the tool to take them wheels off"

WHAT???  What did you say, LaVerle?  You're going to put my car up on that ramp and then I'm going to have to put my babies in the back seat of your cab there and you're going to have to turn around at an emergency access road and then we are going to back track 40 miles where you and Willy are going to hope you have the tool to get these rims off and then your town (which resembles Mayberry) may or may not have a replacement tire, but probably not?  Is that what you just said to me because I stopped listening when you said "I don't got the tool to get that tire off."

Fast forward to 20 minutes later.  Yep, we're back tracking to Nephi.  Car seats all the way across the bench, NO AIR CONDITIONER, I have boob sweat from here to breakfast, at one point I thought I was going to pass out, 40 miles took over an hour and then we find out..... are you ready for this......."WILLY DON'T GOT THE RIGHT TOOL"

Of course he don't!!!!

So LaVerle drives us, in his huge A truck with my huge A car on the back to his daughters house, his son's house, his other son's house, his friends house and finally Dudley's house (who apparently has every tool known to man) to see if any of them "got the tool".  Luckily Dudley had it but..... are you ready for this.......  he made me buy it from him.  30 DAMN DOLLARS.  Can you believe they would take advantage of a woman in my condition?  All sweaty.  And dirty tears dripping down my cheeks.  Yeppers.  You better believe your 32 gauge shot gun, they did. 

And then.... and you've probably guessed it by now........ there isn't a tire available in the entire town.  What a shocker.  So we did the only thing we could do.......

LaVerle unhitched my car at the CLOSED Big O Tires store and left us and told us Tommy Lee the owner of the tire shop would be here at 7:00 the next morning.

So, I did as any girl would and I called my mommy and asked if my daddy would come and get us.  Which of course he did after we sat in Wendy's for 4 hours eating Frosty's and french fries. 

So, why am I a realist and Raleigh is an optimist?  Because none of this S*@T  ever happens to him.  And I swear on my life if he EVER calls me anything but "SPECTACULAR" ever again I will dump his half full glass on his head and kick him in his knee.