This week was hard for me.
And it's hard for me to explain without sounding completely pathetic.
But, the conclusion that I draw is this...
I love my husband too much
This is not a bad thing, generally but it truly is a weakness. It impairs me.
You know how Elder Scott loves Janine so much he can hardly mention her name without bawling and he speaks to her in EVERY single conference talk he's ever given since she passed away and he probably thinks of her 20,000 times a day?
That's me. I am painfully in love.
So.... when my beloved tells me that he has to go on a 5 day work trip in Orlando, over a work week and I am instantly emotional and I try to blame my being completely upset on the fact that this will place an unfathomable burden on me with childcare and work life balance... the truth is I am really just sad. Pathetically sad, heartbroken wretchedly, miserably sad. I am sad when he is gone.
So, this past week, I was sad.
But, I prepared babysitters to cover the 32 hours that I would be at work.
I planned Wholesome Recreational Activities for us during the evenings.
We ate crap dinners that we would never eat if Raleigh was home, that were divine... casseroles, homemade mac and cheese and waffles with whip cream.
We ALL sat on my bed on Monday night and watched The Voice.
We ALL sat on my bed on Tuesday and watched Dancing with the Stars,
and I almost made it through the week without having a meltdown.
But on the last night, my sick baby, who screamed for over two hours and threw up on me twice got the better of me and tears were shed. And I wanted Raleigh to just come home. Even if he did NOTHING to help me, just knowing that he was there would have helped me so much. And so instead of acting like I loved him with all of my heart and that the whole range of emotions boiled down to I just hate being away from him...
I yelled at him and wasn't a very nice wife and I will regret it for a very long time and for that I will publicly apologize.
However, I rallied...
And I welcomed him home the next night wearing my boots and my "sexies".
Would that constitute TMI?
Probably!
But, I was really happy that he was home.
And because he was "working" during the first part of the week, he had the weekend off. So we took full advantage. Starting with Black Bear Breakfast and ending with Brick Oven Dinner with football, shopping, hand holding, smooching, dancing in the living room, laughing, teasing and loving each other in between.
I took some pictures of the kiddies before we left on all of our adventures...
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| Peyton |
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| Kaleigh |
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| Ryker |
I cannot express how happy I am that it is over and we are back to normal now.
I am so happy he's home.
3 comments:
I honestly have felt that same way a few times when Brian has been away from us on "work" trips and things. I've shed many tears before and have had a few melt downs. I'm sorry he had to be away and that your little one was sick to boot. Glad you guys are back together again as you should be!
I, too, am glad that Raleigh is back home. It does seem that things run smoother when he is here, although I must say, that I think you did a great job while he was away. Let's hope that BB keeps the work trips to a minimum.
These are such darling pictures of the little kids BUT then, they ARE darling kids so why wouldn't their pictures be darling? I hope you all have a happy week!
I regretfully admit that I too act out when I am sad instead of loving Brent the way I feel it in my whole heart. I use to hate it when he would leave for work and be gone for days...so much that I too would lash out at him as if he had a choice to stay or go. When in reality I just wanted him next to me so I could love on him and wear MY "sexies". :)
However I do not believe that loving him too much is a flaw or a weakness. I LOVE that I LOVE Brent...that I NEED him, WANT him and feel empty without him. I wouldn't have it any other way...I am sure Raleigh feels the same way!
I am glad he is home in your arms again!
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