Thankful.......... November 22nd

I've gone back and forth on writing this post because it makes me really emotional.  I even talked to Raleigh about it, to get his thoughts.  But he's a man.  What does he know about women?  He just kept saying things like...  "your feelings are valid.  I understand why you feel that way." etc. 

Every time I write about this, I get a lecture from my mom.  Because I can't write about it without getting upset and it comes off like I have a bad attitude, which maybe I do.   But just because she has been lucky in this area does not mean that I have.  Making it so that we will forever have to agree to disagree. 

I haven't been blessed to have very good relationships with girls.  I have tried my whole life to find friendships in females.  But, I just don't like it.  And it's so sad because I have all these daughters.  Sometimes I will see them acting like "girls"  and I could nearly lose my mind.  I get very upset with them and try to correct their girly ways.  "Don't be a MEAN girl",  I'll say.  "You make an effort to include everyone or don't do the thing at all."  OR the biggest problem I have is when they will act one way to the girl's face and then rip her to shreds behind her back.  So I come unglued when I hear my girls doing that.  I will say "don't say anything about someone that you wouldn't say directly to their face.  If you wouldn't be able to say it directly to their face, it is called gossip.  And gossip is NOT allowed in this house."  I HATE the inclination that girls have to destroy one another and I really hate when women act like girls.  And so, based on my experiences with girls in the past, my approach to "girl friendship" is to not give too much of myself to them, so that when they hurt me, and they will, it won't hurt as much.

So, consequently I have always gravitated to boys.  They are just easier to hang out with.  They are more fun.  They aren't mean.  They don't judge you.  They don't care if you are bloated.  They don't compare themselves to you.  They don't make an effort to tear you down in order to build themselves up. 

This past year, however I am eating all of my words.  I have rekindled a very old friendship with my friend, Wendy and it is a very lovely friendship and I am so blessed to have it.  I am so happy every time I hear from her because she'll never think this of herself, but she is my friend that is the closest to the Lord and she reminds me every time I hear from her what my relationship with my Savior needs to be.  She inspires me to be better and stronger.    And recently I have made a new friend in my work buddy, Mindy.  She is a very loyal and devoted friend and I am grateful to her for helping me with all she's helped me with.  (In Mindy's case, however I will say that all the men at work say that she is "nearly a guy"  because she hunts and swears and isn't afraid to get dirty etc)  that's probably why I love her.  But she is a wonderfully talented, vivacious and spectacular person. I am so happy Heavenly Father put her in my life!!!   I also am blessed to work with Rebecca, who is the most genuinely sweet person, I have ever met.  She says the sweetest things to me every single day and gives the best advice. She is the most positive and upbeat person. I really am blessed to have met her.  And finally, my sister's sister in law, Jolynn is my favorite on line friend.  She is so kind to me and my family.  I pretend that she is my sister in law too.  How lucky Kami is to have a sister in law like her.  She is fantastic.  Not to mention my blogger pals, who I am so blessed to have friendships with and I LOVE their comments  (Karen and Val and Nat, who's taken to texting me her comments because her comments keep getting deleted.)  They make me so happy.  And I must mention, my best texting buddy, Suzanne who makes me laugh with her "craziness."

Of course, I will always have my mom and my sisters who aren't "girls" either.  I get them for eternity.  I don't have a ton of time to "hang out" and so I am glad that I am able to have friends in the way that I am able to have them right now.  They brighten my day and lighten my load.

It's November 22nd..............  and I am Thankful for friends.