It will just work out

On January 1st,  I declared our Family Mantra for this, the year 2016 to be  "It will just work out."

I am NOT a "it will just work out" kind of girl.  I am not a pessimist.  I am for sure not an optimist.  I like to call my self a realist.  I see things as they are and I try to adjust for what I believe will be an appropriate outcome for said challenge.   I don't respond with a rose colored glasses outlook, pretending that all I have to do is click my heels together three times and believe and all will be well and right.  I typically tend toward the worst case scenario so that I am prepared, just in case, for MY foreseeable worst.  However,  deep down inside, I don't really believe (secretly) that that worst thing will REALLY happen.  I just outwardly over prepare as not to be blindsided.   Making me a realist instead of a pessimist.

But, we had a HUGE and I mean HUGE occurrence take place in our family in the month of December.   And I will be the first to admit that I probably over thought the thing to the umpteenth degree.   And I cried literally a river of unnecessary tears.  And prayed like there was no tomorrow.   And there appeared to be NO solution to the problem OTHER than......

"I am going to have to quit my job and we are going to have to move into a cardboard box down by the river and it's freakin' cold down there right now that we will all most likely freeze to death"

Meanwhile.....  same house......  same problem and here is my husband.  "It will all work out."
"Oh, no are your crying again when it's all going to just work out?"   "Why are you stressing over this so much,  it's just going to work out."   "why not apply a little faith."  Day in and freakin' day out...  barking this in my ear.

And I wanted to punch him in the throat.

I happen to know that you MUST move your feet if you want to get somewhere.   And I know that laying on the bed saying that "it will all work out", is not the answer to anyone's troubles.  I also know that it appeared very obviously to me that I was a one woman show when it came to solving all of our family's conundrums.

Here is how it went down...

I could see that we were most likely going to lose our nanny.    She was giving not so subtle hints to the fact and I could see the writing on the wall, being a realist and all.  And so I started worrying...  preparing, if you will, for the worst.   Crying.  Praying.  Gnashing my teeth.  Hoping that I was wrong.  But realistically knowing that I was not, since I am so very rarely wrong.

December 10th....  10 hours notice.....  NO MORE CHILDCARE from the appointed childcare provider that we had chosen to provide childcare for our children.   And we require a lot of childcare as we both work full time and we have a lot of not yet completely school aged children.

Knowing that I am the lesser contributor to the family fund-age,  knowing that I have the less important employment,  naturally I would be the one to offer a solution since I am NOT going to take my kids to daycare EVER in this lifetime....  nor will I pay someone 1/2 my wage to watch my kids when I might as well only work 1/2 time and watch my own kids.  But, I really like my job.  And I am pretty good at it.  And I REALLY like my wage.   And I like living in a house with heat.   So,  I was frantically searching for a solution to this catastrophe and I had next to no time to do it.

And here is my husband.....  "it will just work out."

So,  I get the text....  yes TEXT delivering the bad news.  And even though I thought that I had adequately prepared myself for it.   I fell apart.  Like hyperventilating.  Breathing in a paper bag falling apart.  While the words of my husband played over and over in my mind.

And literally 12 minutes later.  I get a call from my son.  Who NEVER calls me.  Who I have seen maybe 7 times since his wedding day 7 months prior.  I get a call from him.  And he asks me some off the wall question.  And I am in the midst of sobbing, but I don't let on to him.  And I disguise my distraught voice to ask him how he is doing.....  "how are you guys doing today?"  I say and his reply is "we will be fine when we find Crysti a job."

And I said...  "I may have one for her if she would like to help us out until May"

And he said  "she'll take it."

Well I'll be darned.....  If "it didn't just work out."
I stand corrected.

Where one door closed, another one opened 12 minutes later.

And now I believe.

I do not think that laying there saying that all will be well will make all well.  But, I do with complete certainty know that when it comes to taking care of our families,  the Lord is 100% on our side.  And he will lead us to a solution.  To help us with these little kids, who we love with all of our hearts.

I decided if we could solve this problem, which was to date the hardest one we've come up against so far....  we can solve anything.   And from now on or at least for the year 2016, I am going to start off thinking "it just could quite possibly work out".... maybe....   if I click my heels together three times and believe.