December 2020

I am writing this on a Sunday night (20th).   Today, we went to church.  It was just an average meeting but I was full of happiness today, all day.  I just keep thinking how completely blessed we are.  I cannot even believe it.  First and foremost...  we made it through the year (well almost) nearly unscathed.  So many things happened to us this year.  Some of those things were emotional and trying.  We both started new jobs.  That is always unnerving.  For a very brief moment, I was scared.  That feeling didn't last long and we are 1000% better off having gone through it.  There were so many changes and adjustments and almost every day was just plain weird.  But, here we are at the other end of it all,  somehow better off.  Certainly smarter.  Having learned some important lessons.  How does that happen?  

I had a week in the middle of the month that I DID NOT FEEL GOOD.  My biggest symptom was a raging headache accompanied by a dozen or more painless migraines that medicine did not help at all.  I was dizzy for several days in a row.   The dizziness didn't make me sick, but made my headaches worse and it was hard to drive.  No matter which direction I looked, I had to pause for 2-3 seconds and wait for my eyes to adjust.  I was also plagued with terrible brain fog.  I was a bit of a mess and made some weird decisions.  People, noise and movements bothered me more than usual.  I felt completely sluggish and very blobbish.  It would not surprise me at all if I have Covid antibodies floating around in my body.  So glad that is over.

Our football kids made it to the finals.  They played so hard.  They worked so hard.  They went into the finals total underdogs.  They played the Raiders in the finals who were a bunch of boys who were clearly on steroids.  Their coach was a super-stud (in his own mind) who spent the entire game running up and down the field like he was coaching in the Superbowl and was yelling like an idiot, except he thought he was really cool.  They had matching outfits on and did fancy victory handshakes.  Meanwhile, our kids were the Little Engines That Could.  They were just trying their best in their mis-matched colorful clothes with no stylish intent whatsoever.  They didn't have fancy moves.  Their flags were not superglued to their belts like the cheating Raiders' flags were.  The conclusion that I drew, once again, is that I am NOT meant to be a sports mom.  It rips my heart out and brings out the worst in me.  

                                                

Peyton made it through the first half of the game and then all of the sudden, she ran over to the side line clutching her chest.  She ran over to us with a total panicked look on her face and said that she couldn't breathe and that her heart was pounding and felt like it was tightening and crushing her.  I had her sit on my lap.  And I pressed my hand firmly on her chest over her heart.  Her heart was beating SO fast is was a bit scary and she couldn't hardly get a good breath.  I had her lay on her back with her knees up.  She cried.  She said she felt so overwhelmed by all of the referees and felt so much pressure.  She couldn't keep up with the kid she was guarding and she was panicked she would fail and let the team down.  She was having an anxiety attack.  Poor little girl.  It was a heartbreaking loss.  But, I was so proud of this little team.   They learned so much this year.  And they didn't embarrass themselves with behavior that was so "extra".  

Mom and dad came over one Sunday to do a craft.  Mom had worked so hard to bake (for hours) the most beautiful fruit and she collected all of the other little extras like cinnamon sticks and bay leaves.  And it looked gorgeous and smelled good.  This was the week I was feeling lousy.  I did not do a very good job given I am not terribly crafty... given I don't have the patience or the general skills required to be crafty.  They turned out cute nonetheless.  Mom's looked just like the one's on Pinterest.  Even though I was a downer, it was just fun to be together.

Peyton did a great job on hers.

Our next project was Kony Kountry's Adopt a Family for Christmas Program.  We adopted a family here in town and bought gifts for their children.  We carefully planned out our lists and headed out on a shopping spree.

Team Ryker

Team Kaleigh

Team Peyton

This was extremely impactful for our kids.  They completely caught the vision and embraced the seriousness of it.  

Nana took the presents home and wrapped them like only she can

I really wish that I could say that we had a moving experience when we dropped the gifts off.  It was quite the opposite however.  Raleigh and I were so depressed when we left the drop off site, that we didn't speak for 20 minutes.  He finally broke the silence by saying "well I am glad that's over."  I was fighting back tears.  The family was nowhere near grateful.  It was like they didn't even care.  It was like they'd been through this before and it was just routine for them and they were SO bored of it all.  I tried to have a spirit about me that made their behavior okay.  I tried to lose myself in the spirit of giving or the spirit of the season, but I guess I am not that great of a person because I couldn't make it happen.  I wasn't looking for accolades or a reward at all, but for crying out loud, a "thank you" would have been nice.  I was so glad we hadn't brought the kids with us.  They got to experience every good part of it and none of the not so good.   Maybe this says more about ME than it does about them.  That's okay.  I write this so that I will look back after some time has passed and adjust myself.  

 

Ryker finished up dinner very quickly one night and asked where the yellow gloves were that I wear when I clean the homes at the Village.  I told him they were under the sink.  Raleigh began to question him.  What are you up to, Walt?

Please don't make messes.  Why do you kids make endless messes?  

Go upstairs and take a shower....  etc.

Ryker obeyed.

Then he came down and found me... 

Mom, I am not trying to make a mess.

I was challenged to do the dishes without telling you.

I have to do the challenge or I look bad to my teacher.  

I flashed Raleigh that look.

Raleigh grabbed him and hugged him and told him he was good boy.

And apologized for jumping to the wrong conclusions.

He is such a good boy

We took a picture and sent it to his teacher for proof.

Remember the Village Bakery and Cafe in our neighborhood?

We were finally able to go.

We went on a rainy Saturday morning, which was perfect.

It is so darling!!

There is a wood fire stove

and the decor is superior.

Up on the roof is outdoor eating with party lights and misters for the Summer months.

I think we will eat here often

Peyton attended Young Women Preview

She is very excited to be a beehive.

We curled her hair.

She was able to attend the December Activity.

They walked up and down the streets of our neighborhood caroling and dancing a dance that they had practiced.  It was fun to see her in the middle of so many girls

She had a good time.

The closest we will get to a Christmas Card this year

Martha Stewart, AKA Rals Lund made some delicious food this holiday season.

Oreo cake balls were a crowd favorite for sure.

On Christmas Eve, we accomplished the nearly un-accomplishable task of getting into a restaurant.  We had a lovely dinner at Texas Roadhouse.  The food was superb.  We all ate way too much.  Papa and Nana took the kids to see Christmas lights and then we watched church videos and old Tabernacle Choir performances.  We were too full for dessert.

Peyton and I had matching outfits.  That NEVER happens.  She looked so cute in her black jeans.

Christmas Morning was a blur.  I know I was there in body, but I was SO tired I could hardly be fully present.  I haven't sleeping very well this whole month.  It's hard to sleep on an incline night after night.  Christmas Eve night I woke up at 2:30 and I thought I was dying my body hurt so bad from the whacky position I was in and had been in for hours.  I never really got comfortable after that.  When we got the 7:00 am call asking if we were ready for the kids.  I felt like a mack truck had hit me.  

The kids made out like bandits.  I asked Raleigh to take the wheel this Christmas Season, and he sure did.  He set them all up real nice... They were very grateful and appreciative.  I love them so much.  

We went over the river and through the woods to Papa and Nana's house for brunch.

Delicious and so fun.

And then dad put together all of the toys

This Capricorn had a birthday on the 29th.

Every year, it kind of blows to have your birthday 4 days after Christmas. 

People forget.

People don't have any money left for birthday presents

But, Ryker is very passionate about his birthday and he plans the day out completely and tells us each what our individual roles are every year.  Mom, you go to work, but GET OFF EARLY.

Dad, it's a tradition for you to take me to breakfast.

Nana, if you could take me shopping, that would be so fun

I would also like a cake and some balloons

Lunch would be cool too.

Cheese fries and pizza on the upper deck of the Neighborhood Cafe

Baby Yoda was a HUGE success!!

Thanks Papa and Nana

New Year's Eve was a crazy day.

I had to work in a manual labor capacity, so I wore my yoga pants

I was under dressed for SNOW!!

I froze my buns off driving in the golf cart picking up laundry and dropping off supplies to cleaners.

We had a super psychotic guest check in. 

New Year's Guests are traditionally HORRIBLE and unreasonable.  Most people are in a post-holiday depression and for some reason go on vacation and make life hard for everyone around them. 

Every once in a while, we have "that guest" check in.  That guest that has figured out how to play the "get money back on our stay" guest.

They are the same people who go to a restaurant... eat almost their entire meal at the restaurant and then complain that it was horrible and demand the entire meal be refunded.  

In the hospitality industry, they check in...  search diligently for ANY THING that could possibly be out of sorts in the home, take photos of the thing and then create a scene.  At the house that she checked in to, the top of the vacuum, which is kept in the garage, was dusty.  ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE!!!

Nevertheless, a refund was granted.

I hate women

We celebrated Kami's birthday on New Year's Eve

at the Alumni Creamery.

The creamery is BYU themed with "mormon BYU" names for the ice creams like "Bishop's Bash" and "LaVell's Vanilla"  and "Freshman 15"

We had a ton of fun.

My parents told the high school girls from St. George that were scooping our ice cream

that most of us were BYU graduates.  EXCEPT NOT FOR THIS SON IN LAW, he likes Arizona St. and THIS ONE....  he likes the Utes.  Can you believe that?

The girls giggled and looked at each other....  I think they thought some of us were VERY COOL.

On New Year's Day, we thoroughly enjoyed our yearly tradition at Sakura.

The food was delish as always.

The company was better 

Then we went out to Arcadia to show Brent and Kami around.

All the boys played hoop shoot

I have had some parental challenges this year vis a vie my grown children.

They are out on their own and blazing their own paths.

I promise you....  this really happened.  

I woke up in the middle of the night one night, with thoughts about my kids in my head.  Like premonitions.  Like warnings.  Like "just so you know, this is what this particular child is up to."

I sat up straight in bed and grabbed Raleigh's arm and told him about my new knowledge. 

Sadly, when your children are over a certain age, you become powerless and have zero influence.

When I wake up in the middle of the night with said inspirations, I can't go back to sleep.

One night after laying in bed for hours, I prayed.  

I really just need to sleep.  I can't do anything about this right now.  Sleep will help me get good clarity and make better decisions.   Can I please hand the wheel over to you?  I just need you to take the wheel.  

Within 5 minutes, I was out like a light.  It is so comforting to know that there is someone WAY smarter than me who will take over where I need to let go.  

Here is my new motto:

I want to say that 2020 was the worst year.

Like everyone is saying it was.

But, I don't really feel that way.

My experience in 2020 was not the worst.

We had a ton of experiences, that turned out to be huge blessings

I can say that because I only knew like 10 people who had Covid personally and none of them were really sick.  The majority of them had head aches or a case of "the flu".   I was aware of everything was going on in the world, but the illness got no where near our family.  We were blessed that way.

The side effects of the illness affected us.  Working from home, school from home, a lay-off, a new job, masks, weird behaviors, new rules, no church,  no conference,  new routines.

As a result of it all we...

1.  Improved our working environments

2.  Improved our financial situation

3.  Stepped up our food storage game

4.  Our dad works from home

5.  Eat differently now

6.  Live differently

7.  Appreciate the important things

8.  Dumped the stuff that doesn't matter

9.  Grew closer as a family

10.  Learned VERY important life lessons

11.  Realized how blessed we continue to be

I personally learned...

1.  To focus on my testimony

2.  To let go of the things that will not serve me

3.  To be less concerned about people or situations that do not matter

4.  To plan for anything and everything

5.  To be ready for everything

6.  To love my family every day.

I am grateful that we all get to start over.  I pray for literally everyone that things improve and get better.  I have so many personal things that I want to improve on.  I hope we can grow and challenge ourselves and make some great opportunities for our future.  

I love my family so much.

I love my husband more than words can say.

I love my life.  I am blessed and lucky.

I will look at 2020 as the year that caused us to adapt, grow, change, prepare, pause, and learn.

I will think of 2021 as a year to learn from the lessons we were taught and the suggestions for improvement thanks to 2020.