April 2022

April was a hum-dinger of a month.  I am not kidding, we haven't had a month this cool in years/decades/ever.

We started April off with a dinner with Uncle Jamie and Aunt Amy and the cousins.

We had a BBQ and so many fun conversations.  It was so great to see them as always.  They are very good to us.  We spent the bulk of the conversation talking about Europe and what we should do while we are there.  Jamie volunteered to write us up a temporary "will" stating who would be in the care of our kids in the event of our death by plummeting to the earth in a plane or getting hit by a double decker bus and that whole conversation upset me.  His will was super cute, he named the kids Kaleigh (aka KK) and Ryker (aka Walt), that made me less upset about it because he was kindof not taking the whole thing super seriously.  He also gave me a bit of a pep talk by saying that there are so many people in this world, who would love to have the opportunity to take a trip like the one we were getting to take and for me to be upset about it is like me being ungrateful for the wonderful life I get to live.  I think he used the word "priviledged" and not priviledged  in THAT way....  but yes, I am definitely priviledged.  And this is an opportunity of a lifetime and I WOULD be ungrateful for the blessings that I have been given by living in the US and having a good job and the means to travel and a husband who loves me and parents who want me to be able to see the world.

So, okay.

I tried desperately to solidify things at work before we left.

Luckily for me, supply chains and post-Covid behaviors from nearly every vendor in this world, knocked my schedules back a week and so instead of every stressful thing falling in the same week I'd be gone, they fell right in line, the week I was to return.  I could not have timed it any better on purpose.

I knew that going back to work following a vacation would be hard, it alway is...

but, maybe it wouldn't be as hard if I knew I would be SO busy, I wouldn't even have time to feel sad.  

Before I knew it,  it was time to pack for our big trip.  Luckily, I had literally been planning it all out for MONTHS.

I was really, really prepared.  I bought some really cute shoes with a gift card that I earned by being on call during the busiest Spring Break Week of the season.  I earned that gift card, so I bought some really cute shoes with it.  I separated my carefully chosen outfits, thoughtfully and methodically into separate packing bags with notes to myself just in case, I lost all of my mental facilties during my wretched journey across the Atlantic and could no longer remember important pieces of information, like the information in my notes.

My individual bag notes  said things like "In this bag is Saturday's outfit: minus the black vans that can be found in their own packing bag in the other suitcase."

I was beyond organized.  I thought of every single catastrophe that could possibly happen and I was prepared for it.  I had some left over drugs from a UTI that I stashed away just in case...  I can't imagine having a UTI on vacation and trying to find a doctor in Europe.  But, that wasn't going to happen to me, I was so prepared for it.  I also had some antibiotics as well, for if I contracted strep throat or got an absessed tooth or got bit by a European spider or something like that.

I also brought anti nausea pills, vitamin B-12, unisom and 2 Xanax that I got from somewhere, I can't even remember and they were probably expired.  I had gas-X and tylenol and mucinex and peppermint beedlets.

This meme sums it all up really....

I was to say the least A WRECK!!

A total wreck. 

But by golly, I was prepared for almost anything and I should have been so confident, but of course I wasn't.  Zero confidence.

Our plane was leaving at 9:30 pm on Monday the 11th.

I worked all day Monday, because I needed to stay so busy that day.  I cried several times all alone in my office at my desk.  Or anytime anyone said anything about my trip.

I felt sick the entire day.  I couldn't eat anything.  I didn't even think about eating.  The day flew by.  Before I knew it, it was 4:00.

I drove home.  And sobbed the entire way.  I ran into the house with only 26 minutes until we needed to leave, I took a very quick shower.  Dad gave me a blessing of comfort.  I cried some more.

And we left.

And then I really sobbed.

As we drove down to Vegas, I said a another very heartfelt prayer begging for help.  And the most comforting feeling came over me...

And I heard these words in my head as if they were being whispered to me.

"Please trust me.  I will be right by your side the entire time.  There is nothing to worry about.

And then when you return and know that everything was okay, remember that I love you and care about your fears and worries and let that be a strength to you for the rest of your life"  

And just like that my fears were gone and I was completely comforted.

The ride to the Airport in Las Vegas was horrible.  It was so windy, Raleigh could barely keep the truck on the road.  The sky was grey because it was filled with sand and dirt and you couldn't even see the casinos.

NOT the best weather to be flying in for sure.  It only compounded the whole situation.  But I wasn't scared.

We sat in the boarding area for two hours, watching the wind blow everything to Kingdom Come.

The windows were shaking.  

I still hadn't eaten anything.  

I didn't even care.

I like didn't care.  I wasn't nervous or anxious or hungry, it was so weird.

I had been nervous and anxious for 6 months.

And all of the sudden, I was just NOT.

Finally they called our row to board.  There was almost no turning back.

I really don't know how I found the courage to hand them my ticket and get on that plane

BUT I SIMPLY DID

I took a Unisom

and just like that, I was out like a light and I slept for 8 of the 10 hours of the flight.

It was such a breeze.

I couldn't believe how easy it was and how well I did.

No one knew I was a chaotic mess inside not just 12 hours earlier.

There wasn't a trace of that on me, I just looked like a seasoned pro.

Completely in control and not freaking out in any way, like I thought I would.

I even got up and walked around and went to the bathroom.

It was a truly wonderful experience

Raleigh on the other hand was snapping photos out the window, watching movies, eating several meals

When we landed, I don't think I have ever been more proud of myself.

That was such a scary thing for me.  And I did it.  The second the plane hit the ground, my heart started racing.  I was suddenly SO excited about all of the things I could FINALLY be excited to do.

Oh my gosh, I could not believe I was actually in another country.  On another continent.  So far away.

All of my...what I thought would never happen... was going to happen.

When the plane landed, the stewardess said...

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to London

masks are no loger required.

We didn't have to wear them in the airport, literally no one was wearing them

It was so awesome.

Raleigh took care of everything. 

He knew exactly what to do, even though he maybe didn't know what he was doing, I couldn't tell.

He strapped my bags together, so I could pull them easily and called an uber

And I finally ate something

And then we got this show on the road.

Let me start off by saying that we had the greatest time in Europe that any two people have ever had.

I don't think our trip could have been any more perfect.

But we had some really funny things happen to us in the middle of having the time of our lives and inbetween reporting on all of the incredible things we did...

I HAVE TO report on those things too because they were the highlights in their own way and I don't ever want to forget that they happened.

Our Uber driver was on the wrong side of the car and kept driving on the wrong side of the road, even though I kept gasping and squeaking in the back seat.  Every single time he turned a corner or crossed traffic, I wanted to scream at him that he wasn't driving well.   It was all backwards and wrong.  It kindof made me dizzy and it for sure rattled me.

We checked into our super weird hotel.  It was so bizarre.

Not cute, not cool, not swanky, not retro, not vintage, not pretty.

Just. Freaking. Weird.

However, I loved everything about it.

It smelled so good and the shower was amazing.  

The toilet flushed REALLY loud and the water turned on backwards and there was no where to put our luggage, but I loved it for so many reasons.  The employees were SO nice to us and they always acted like they were so happy to see us everytime we returned.  Like.... oh yay, you're back, we've been waiting for you.  It was within walking distance of The Mall and Pickadilly and Trafalgar.  I loved all of those places.  And I loved walking there.  I loved the little alleys.  We learned all of the shortcuts through all of the alleys.  We never felt unsafe.  We just cruised around like we lived there and knew where we were going.

A row of butt chairs... what???

Cloudy glass next to a weird yellow glass revolving door

Super ugly front desk

Weird blue hallway with the greatest air freshener.

It smelled so good when we walked down the super LONG hall

This is how it looked outside our hotel every morning.

Streets all power washed

Crisp morning air

Trafalgar Square

The National Gallery is gorgeous at night

This is Admiralty Arch and it is at one end of the Mall.

(Buckingham Palace is at the other end)

It's beautiful. 

The Mall is Beautiful and romantic.

I loved the scene in The Crown when Princess Margaret was on the back of Tony Armstrong-Jones' motorcycle and they drove down The Mall at night.  I just wanted more than anything to walk down The Mall at night, so I could see in person what I saw on TV.  It was exactly the same.

I am so lucky

We wrapped up our first day, of which we lost 10 hours of it in the sky,

at Five Guys.  It was so delicious, with the exception of the Diet Coke.

It kindof tasted a little bit like diet coke, but was just off enough to not be good.

I was able to put as much ice in it as I wanted to, that nearly redeemed it, but not quite.

Wednesday was BY FAR my very most favorite day.

We woke up really early and jumped on the subway and took that to Paddington Station.

Paddington Station was so amazing.

I don't know why, but I am so attracted to Train Stations.  When we were in New York, we went to Grand Central Station and I could have stayed there all day.  It felt so romantic to me and I wanted to just stay there forever.  Well, I felt similar at Paddington.  I loved it.  I love how I felt there and how it looked inside.  The people were so kind and getting on and off the trains was super easy.

We didn't have one single problem this entire day.  As perfect as days could go, this was one of them.

Wednesday was the only day that was a little drizzly on our whole trip and maybe that added to the romanticism.  Rain at Downton Abbey?  What could be better?  I do not know.

The train ride (with no masks) was as slick as a whistle and it drops you off in the little town of Newbury,

where cab drivers are just waiting to pick people up and take the five miles up the road to Highclere. 

Our cab driver was from Morroco and he was so nice.

He dropped us off right in front of the castle and I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest.

I was breathing really fast and it felt like I was in a dream.

I could not believe that I was there.

There it was right in front of me and I was as close to Heaven as I have ever been.

We had tickets to see the inside of the Castle at 2:30, so we had two hours to walk around the grounds.

I absolutely loved every single minute of it.

The grounds are spectacular.  Everything was green, hundreds of shades of the most gorgeous greens and the colors of the flowers were so vibrant.  I promise, this is what MY heaven will look like.

The trunks of the trees were gigantic and were perfectly trimmed.

There had to be 1000 acres of rolling grassy hills with bleeting sheep on them.

The hills and mountains afar off were gigantic and majestic and the clouds were resting on them in the most perfect rainy day way.

I can't do the description justice.

We enjoyed finding quiet paths to walk on and we were the only people on them in most cases

When I look back on our photos, I love our photos of this day the very most because of the way I felt all day long.  This day changed me.

We shopped in the gift shop and ate scones with clotted creme and strawberry jam in the little restaurant.

We walked where Lady Mary walked.

We sat where Lady Edith sat

We were there!!

A dream come true.

I NEVER thought I'd be able to see it in person.  I couldn't believe I was actually there in person.

I cannot wait for the movie now!!!

Then our tour began.

I am not kidding when I say, I could hardly contain myself.

I loved being inside the place I'd fallen in love with.

So, when they are not filming or doing tours, a family lives at Highclere.

And the dumb lady doesn't allow photos to be taken in her home.

She also has photos of her family set up all over the house...  like anyone cares about her dumb family.

We are not there to see photos of you, you silly woman.

She kind of actually believes that people are there to see Highclere.

But NO ONE is there to see Highclere.

EVERYONE is there to see Downton.

WITHOUT DOWNTON, NO ONE WOULD GIVE TWO BITS ABOUT YOUR CASTLE.

We took a few photos because we are rebellous like that.

Raleigh carried a Go-Pro around and when none of the workers were watching, he'd take a video.  Then we tried to extract stills from the video.  They are not ideal photos, but at least we have s few.

The dining room

The Parlor where Mary and Matthew danced

The staircase

Lady Sybil's room

Observations of Downton Abbey....

1. It's a lot smaller than it looks on TV

2. The furniture is in really bad shape

(hint to the lady of the house: fix up your stuff)

3. The servants quarters are not really downstairs

(that is sad)

4. We walked through all of the doors that they all walk through and they go to rooms and places that you don't expect

5. It was the greatest, most fun day.  I didn't want to leave.

We finished up our first real day in London at Nandos

Nandos is a chicken place.

Raleigh used to eat at Nandos on his mission.

It was really good and the restaurant was decorated with cute colors and fun decor

Then we walked through Pickadilly 

This road bends slightly around a little right hand corner and so do the buildings

It's the coolest street

Thursday morning, we woke up way before the sun and got ready and packed a little overnight bag and took an Uber at 6:00 am, headed to St. Pancras station to catch the Eurostar to Paris.  We had to be there an hour and a half early for some reason and when we arrived, we understood why...  It was complete and utter chaos.  There were at least 400,000 people in line.  There was a sign as you walked in that said "Please consider wearing a mask in the train station." 

Well, we considered it and we didn't want to.

Afterall London doesn't require you to wear masks in the airport, surely the mask mandate was lax everywhere in this awesome country, including the Eurostar Train Station.

We finally found the entrance to the gigantic line and when we started to get in it, we were immediately, violently stopped by three employees, who were clearly hyped up on a ton of caffeine and had, all three of them, woken up on the way wrong side of the bed.  They were SO mad at us.  It was like we were their enemy from second one and we didn't even know what we had done.  The rudest and most aggressive man of the three, began verbally abusing us in a classic French-English accent that kind of made me chuckle whilst also fearing for my life.  He got right up in our faces and I thought he was going to slap one of us and yelled...

"MASKS!"

He screamed at us.  No other words.  And for sure no pleases or thank yous.

"MASKS OR LEAVE"

I guess the "consideration" sign was more of a "requirement" sign than it was a "consideration" sign.

But, who the hell knew???

Why would they not be required in the airport, but then be SO required in a train station and failure to do so, resulted in you being treated like for real criminals.

Well, I put my mask on right away.

Raleigh on the other hand...got an instant panicked look on his face and semi-frantically began going on some sort of a treasure hunt for his mask and it appeared to be nowhere....  no matter how many times he searched in all of the many pockets of his bag, his mask just kept on not being in any of them.  And it is 6:00 am, so none of the stores where maybe he could possibly buy one were open....  and the horribly rude employees were not going to be any help whatsoever either.  "is there anywhere to buy a mask?"  

"NO" was the reply accompanied with a hand gesture toward the exit.  He really just wanted us to leave. 

 He told us to stand over here in this little "waiting area" and get ourselves together.  After searching 12 more times in each of the 18 pockets of his bag, Rals told me to "wait right here and don't leave" while he would try to find a mask to buy.  I stood off to the side of the big line, with zero hope that he was going to find something good enough to get us passage on this train.  I just kept standing there, watching The Gestapo-like French train employees, berate passenger after passenger, who were just innocently trying to get on a train, without masks, that they honestly just did not know were required, but their ignorance clearly set them up to be publicly humilited.  

I was glad to know that we were not the only offenders, but it was still the most uncomfortable I'd been in a very long time.  Everyone was bottlenecked at the entrance of the line, fumbling around, searching in their bags.  My hands and feet were all sweaty because I was standing somewhere where I knew I probably shouldn't be, but I didn't know where else to go and I knew I was mere seconds from a flogging.  Then it happened, I could see someone charging at me out of the corner of my eye.  That horrible man was back and he lunged at me and grabed my arm hard and said "YOU, what time does your train leave?"

Here's the thing...  when I travel with Raleigh, I don't care where it is, but especially when it is in places we've never been before, I inexplicably become like a seven year old.  I don't know why it is, it just happens.  I never really know where we are going, how we are going to get there or by what means.  I just follow him, like a seven year old would follow her parent.  I am on a need to know and I often don't need to know because HE KNOWS and all I have to do is follow and we end up at great places.  The only time I ever sort of come close to being in charge of our travel plans is in California.  I know California like the back of my hand and when we are there, I tell him where to go, but everywhere else, I would never ever attempt to be the one in charge of the travel plan.  He just knows he is the one in charge, he knows how to be in charge and I feel so safe and confident in his abilities, no matter where we are.  It works out perfectly for us.  I get super spazzy when I don't know what I am doing and I should never be the one in charge when I don't know what I am doing.  So, to prevent me from launching myself into a severe panic attacks, I just revert back to the good ole days of 1978, when life was good and easy and people told me exactly what to do and say and where to go and let him lead.

So when the meanest man in the whole entire world, aggressively lurches at me and asks me a question like "what time does your train leave?"  Me, being a SEVEN year old has NO DAMN CLUE.

I knew we were taking a train to France, but I don't think the exact time had ever been articualted to me.

I said "I-I-I-IIIIIIII don't know......10:30?"

10:30 sounded good.

And he yelled SO LOUDLY for the whole train station to hear...

TEN THIRTY????????

GET OUT!

GEET OUOT OF HEEERE!

And he pushed me and my suitcase, or shoved us is a better word, out of little area where I was standing and smashed me and our suitcase up against a wall.

If I had been a proper 50 year old woman, I would have said 

"Get your hands off of me, you A-hole"

but instead, I am seven, so I just let him accost me, and push me and yell at me.

So there I was standing, with my little suitcase on the wrong side of the ropes, with no ticket, just waiting and hoping that one of these men wasn't going to kill me and also that my maskless husband was going to come back for me someday.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, I could see him about a mile down at the end of the train station, walking as briskly as Raleigh could ever walk and he was wearing a mask.....  A mask, that he bought from a vending machine.  I couldn't believe it, but we were actully going to MAYBE be able to get on this train.

I wish I could say the abuse ended there, but it didn't.

We had to then go through five very painful steps, each one increasing in intensity, trying to prove we were not terrorists, or infected with Covid and were worthy on all accounts to enter France.

I was nearly in tears by the time we reached the waiting room.  I was so beaten down and emotionally wrecked at that point and my back hurt and I was SO hot.  I didn't really want to go anymore. If it's this hard, it must be a sign that we shouldn't go.

Nevertheless, we powered through it and I am happy to say, we passed all of our tests and we were priveledged to board that train. 

The Eurostar is a zippy little mode of transportation.

It goes a mere 286 miles an hour and dives below the English Channel for 31 miles, a little 8 minute black as night tunnel dip and before you know it, (well.... 2 1/2 hours later in all) you're in France.  

We disembarked that train and took the M4 subway to the M9 with our luggage and came up from the underground to the most beautiful city I have ever seen.  It actually took my breath away when I saw it.  The sky was the most beautiful shade of blue and the trees were a piercing shade of green against it.  They lined the street in a perfectly lined up row.  My first initial impression was awe that a place could be this gorgeous.

Oh.... before we get too far let me show you this little French how-do-you-do...

If you have to pee in our country, you have to pay us a Euro first.

We accept debit cards.

What a dumb city.

We checked into our hotel and peed FOR FREE and then set out on our jouney to the Eiffel Tower.  I almost coudn't get there fast enough.  I was walking SO fast, while also trying not to miss out on a single inch of the scenery.  I coudn't believe how fabulous it was there.  

And then all of the sudden....  there it just was...

Standing so tall right in the middle of everything.

So gigantic and amazing.  Just like it was in my dreams.

The grounds were so well taken care of.  Everywhere you looked there were perfectly manicured flowers of every color and type.

So FYI... this wall that I am standing on is 25 feet up

Right behind me was a 25 foot drop off into a fountain.

I am severely afraid of heights

I don't know why I got up here.

Nothing was scaring me currently.

I was conquering every one of my fears

This will be my favorite picture until I die.

How could we possibly ever take a better picture than this?

We won't be able to

It's 100% perfect

We walked around all four sides of it making sure not to miss any part of it just in case one side was better than another and took at least a hundred pictures.  And then we remembered we were starving.

We somehow managed to order two crepes, from the rudest street vendor ever to exist.  Crepes that had been cooked up previously and were sitting in a pile on the counter, just sitting there, uncovered, in the sun for who knows how long, probably 5 hours.  She would just grab an already cooked one that she would wave the flies off of, and then reheat it, so as to give off the appearance that it was a freshly cooked one.  Then she'd chunk an ungloved handful of sugar on it and quarter it up into a sloppy shape and put it into a little sack. Then she would fill up the sack with sticky carmel.  And she was yelling.  Yelling at everyone and waving her arms around. I don't care what anyone said, they got yelled at.  Everyone in line was completely on edge that they were going to do or say something in the wrong way and set her off even more....  Like the girls in front of us did.  Oh boy, they did something that TICKED her off so bad and she came FLYING out of the trailer, like it was on fire and violently grabbed their food and threw it away in the trash and told them to leave.  "NO CREPE FOR YOU."  I promise it happened.  It was exactly like the Soup Natzi on Seinfeld.  I couldn't believe it.  The crepes were delicious, I have to admit, if you could get past the fact that there was in your face, food poisoning growing on it.  And if you could somehow master the art of eating it without getting the carmel and sugar slop everywhere.  Which I was not good at but Raleigh was.  I had to use 10 wet wipes to clean myself up.  We sat on the grass in front of the tower and people watched and ate our crepes.  Not knowing that it was to be our last decent meal for the next two days. 

From there, we took an Uber to The Louvre.

The Louvre, as a museum is in and of itself amazing, but when you think of it as a formal Palace, the entire mood of it changes.  I could picture horse drawn carriages and men in petaloons and women in corsetts and bustled skirts with tiny waists arriving there for a ball.  The entrance of the GIGANTIC courtyard had an arch and the trees were lined up perfectly to welcome the guests.  Oh it was just so unbelievable.

We didn't go inside.

We were overly impressed enough with the outside to be content.

From the Louvre, Raleigh wanted to go see Notre Dame.

"its within walking distance" he said

I was on board even though my feet were starting to hurt a little bit.

But "within walking distance" was really like 45 minutes away and my feet were KILLING ME by the time we could see the steeple and every step was getting more and more painful.  As we walked along, Raleigh said, you need to tell me when you are getting hungry.  Which I was, but I just wanted to get the Notre Dame excursion over with fast.  We crossed this street and that and went over this bridge and that and passed at least 100 restaurants with menus displayed out in front of each one of them and I couldn't read ONE WORD on any one of them.  Well, actually I did know one of the words "fromage" which was on nearly every single line of every single entree that I saw.  And for someone who has a severe fromage hatred, I was beginning to think that me finding something to eat without fromage could be damn near impossible.  How was I ever going to find a fromageless food item in a city that loves their fromage?  OR how do you say "no fromage in French?  I had no idea.  And I was getting too tired and upset to even try to figure it out.  I had no idea what was served at any of them or if it was food I could even think of eating....  surely if we kept walking, we maybe could possibly eventually happen upon a restaruant that had a word on the menu that I was going to be able to recognize.  

When we finally arrived, Notre Dame was completely closed off.... the streets all around it were barricaded and shut down by policemen with guns.

Well, this little setback was not going to deter Raleigh, who had it in his head that HE WAS GOING TO SEE Notre Dame one way or another, regardless of the armed men who were saying otherwise.

If this part is barricaded, surely there must be another entrance that wasn't heavily guarded.... And by golly, this boy was going to find it.

So we walked four hundred thousand more steps to another part that was, you guessed it, also barricaded.

Ever more determined, my lover, immediately began scanning the streets and alleys around the cathedral for yet another route that would surely gain us access.  

I was getting nervous that he was going to make me scale a wall before this adventure was over and there was no way I was going to be able to do that... I wasn't at the top of my game, what with my bloody blistered feet, not to mention, I was severely malnourished.

And for the love of hunchbacks, I had NO IDEA what Notre Dame even was and why it was so gal dern important for us to go there.  I couldn't fathom the thing that was within the walls, that would bring us the life changing joy he was certain we'd find inside.  The fountain of youth perhaps or the opportunity of endless wealth or something cooler.  I don't know what it was, but WE WERE GOING TO CONQUER THAT PLACE if it was the very last thing we ever did on this earth. 

I said "I think we should take a hint from the massive police presence and the massive NO presence of tourists of any kind on any part of the grounds, that this isn't going to happen for us today and maybe we should give up and think about going somewhere else. Perhaps we could eat OR MAYBE JUST STOP WALKING"

But these perceived words of negativity only fueled his fire and made him resentful toward me and unfortunately made him that much more stalwart in his quest to somehow get through the blockade that was being guarded by, did I mention, policemen.

We found a super narrow and slightly dangerous staircase leading down to a cobblestone path of uneven bricks that were like pure HELL to walk on with sore feet.  And as we were limping along, I was saying things in my mind like "when we get to the THIRD entrance that will without question be barricaded and unopen to the public, I am most likely going to LOSE IT ON THIS MAN....

Well, we did and.........good hell........ IT WAS.

What a shocker!!!

And I don't know how I did it, but I somehow managed to keep the internal RAGE that was going on in my head....  INSIDE MY HEAD.  Even though I wanted to purge it out SO badly. 

I wanted to kick him with my bloody stumps.

I was tired, sore, starving, frustrated, angry and miles away from any sort of relief of any of my ailments. 

And HE was the cause of most of them.

And instead of saying to me "I am frustrated that the place that I wanted to go to the most of all the places in this entire world is closed off to me and it's totally NOT your fault and it would be ludicrous for me to blame you in any way"   he chose take his anger out on ME and further chose to be angry at ME because I was tired, sore, hungry and frustrated and just when it couldn't get worse, he was SO disgusted that I hadn't yet chosen a restaurant from all of the endless choices we'd just walked past.

First of all, let's just pause for a minute and try to picture what would have happened, had I said at any point in the middle of this crusade that we were on to storm the castle...

"so, ummmmmmmm.....good news: I have decided on a place I want to eat, right here on this little corner, right here.  I saw someone eating something that I think I could eat, here as we are walking by restaurants on the streets.  I saw something delicious to eat and I am ready to do that now....Because I am kindof hungry or rather, famished presently and also incidentally it turns out, I am suffering from unbearable foot pain and it would be ideal to sit...down and also eat...while sitting"

What if I had said that?

I would have first been labeled a dream killer.

I would have been deemed not a team player.

He would have stopped in his tracks and said...

"do you see that we are doing something right now?

We are smack dab in the middle of something vitally important.

Can you see we are currently busy trying to accomplish an unaccomplishable task?

NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO EAT, WOMAN"

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaaaaaa.....

Of course I am totally joking

Secondly, we NEVER fight.  Like ever.  With ONE exception.  THE ONLY thing we have ever fought about in our entire marriage is where to eat.  I (honestly like most women in most marriages) lack the ability to choose where we should eat on any given day.  I just am not good at it.  It's not one of my many talents.  It drives him up the wall, but over the years, we have just adjusted to this common marital problem by establishing the protocol that HE CHOOSES where we eat and I find something to eat there.  So knowing this about his wife of nearly 14 years, in the UNITED STATES, why in the world did he think for ONE MILI-SECOND that I was going to suddenly change my personality and be able to choose a restaurant in a country where I'd never been before with a primary language I couldn't speak, when I can't even do it in my own hometown?

He had clearly lost his mind.

I was speechless.

I had no intelligent words.

Plus, my Mom has always said if you can't say something nice... you should put a cork in it.

So, I just sat there.  Internally suffering.  Externally also suffering. In exasperated silence.

After several violent exhales and 

in a spirit of "why do I always have to do everything around here"

he angrily began to search on his phone for  (speaking outloud to Siri) "Siri, show me american restaurants in Paris where my wife can find something that she can eat that doesn't have cheese or mayo or salmonella on it" and as quick as a sneeze, he found a 'diner' 200 steps from where we were actually standing.  And my nerve endings allowed me to walk there.

But don't let the fact that it said an american diner in it's description fool you into thinking that it was an american diner or had american diner food or that we would be able to come anywhere near being able to find something to eat there....

We were seated outside in the back corner with no menus, just a QR Code menu on our table.  

The menu was of course in French, even though it said there was an English Version available, but that was a lie, only the unimportant words were in English.... however, I was honestly going to for sure try and figure it out.

Our waitress was a 17 year old girl who didn't speak a word of English. 

NOT. ONE. WORD.

Even though everyone told me that everyone speaks English in France and ordering food was not ever a problem.  What are the chances that we chose THE ONLY restaurant in Paris with the only waitress who didn't speak even the slightest bit of English?

100%

I ordered a Diet Coke

"Dee it????" Giggle Giggle

Raleigh said "light? Coke light?"

Oh. I no. No ???  light? I no. And she walked away and brought us 2 cokes and 2 glasses with 2 cubes of ice....

And I LITERALLY burst into tears and started sobbing.

I put my sunglasses on and sobbed.... hard.

If I can't even order a drink, how on this green earth was I going to be able to order scrambled eggs with dry toast or a burger with no cheese or no mayo?  Just tell me that.  And I know at the end of the day the problem is mine.  I am in a country where I don't speak the language and I am the pickiest eater there ever was.  I know this.  But I cannot help it.  I have always been this way, I will never be able to change.  No matter what country I am in.  I will always hate cheese.  And my feet hurt so badly I was starting to think it would be better if I just cut them off.  I'd, at this point, been awake for 15 hours and it was barely lunch time and I was all of the sudden feeling the overwhelming effects of jet lag all right here at our corner table in the american diner. 

I sobbed and sobbed and Raleigh was mad.

Stupid.Notre.Dame

I finally told him in between violent attempts to catch my breath due to my sobbing, to just order me some pancakes... easy. It was the LAST thing on earth I wanted to eat at that point, but it was the least likely to get screwed up.

Well..... it would have been easy. That is if Brigitte-Monique had EVER come back to take our order.

She walked almost near our table at least 30 times, but never again said a word to us.  NEVER came over to us to see if we wanted to order anything at her american diner.  She knew she didn't understand us and knew that we didn't understand her, so she just decided to avoid any and all conversations all together and offer the WORST customer service ever known to man.  From her point of view, we would just have to be okay with our cokes and eventually would we have to leave.  Afterall, we couldn't sleep there.

Finally after sitting there for almost an hour, we were able to have a wind down, I am so sorry, "let's be friends again" conversation.  Now, at this point, we had shifted ourselves and had become united in anger toward this stupid waitress and we just got up and left (thanks for the horrible cokes you dumb girl) and we walked at least 100 miles until we found a McDonalds where we ate two of the worst hamburger happy meals ever prepared in the history of McDonald Happy Meals.  We didn't even care at this point.  We were merely eating to survive, that was all.  

We went back to our room,  changed into some comfortable clothes and set out to see this STUPID city at night

And gosh dang it....  its just as beautiful at night as it is in the day.

I wish I hadn't been SO MAD at it's people or it's cathedrals.

Then I could have loved it so much more.

The next morning, we took the subway to a train that took us out to Versailles.  We purchased our tickets and had just walked through the turnstyles and were heading very quickly to try and make our train, when from out of NO WHERE this insane man came literally running out of a super dirty little booth and he looked like a little Troll who lived there who's job it was to guard the train.  He ran up to us and 

YELLED SO LOUD

 "GET OUT" 

and waved his arm violently toward the exit.

What in the world had we done?

Why was he SO mad at us?

"Get out?????????????????" Raleigh said.

"Why?"

NO MASK, GET OUT!

Oh my freaking HELL what is it with the people in this country?

All you have to say is..... Sir, Ma'am, you need to wear a mask on the train.

But NO.  Not in Paris.  

The people of this country instantly go to level 10 violent anger before trying any other behavior.

No one is happy in Paris.  Everyone is SO bloody angry at everyone else.

At first I thought it was just that Parisians hate Americans and they knew somehow that we were Americans and they were horrible to us because there is just a hatred there that they can't even help, but I saw a French booth operator nearly cut another French man's head clean off with his words because the poor man had unfortunately misplaced his ticket and was asking for help.  It helped me a little bit to know that it wasn't a personal attack on me given my nationality... these people hate all humans equally.

I immediately put my mask on..... no big deal, you psycho.

But guess what?

Guess what could have possibly happened to Raleigh?

Guess what he couldn't find again?

Guess what wasn't in his bag?

YOU. HAVE. GOT. TO. BE. KIDDING. ME.

This cannot be happening....  again....  like a sick joke.

And just like the day before, there are no masks for purchase.  

If someone wanted to make a thousand dollars a day, they should stand outside of train stations in Paris and sell masks to innocent travelers.

Well, we fumbled around, checking pockets and bags hoping that out of nothing, a mask would suddenly appear.  We even resorted to looking in the garbage for one that could have possibly been disgarded by someone, but we were totally unsuccessful.  And the Troll just stood there watching us with his arms folded, seriously so happy that we were stressed out and frantic and he was so satisfied with himslf that he was ruining our day.

Just like the day before, Raleigh told me to  'stay put" while he tried to go find a mask.  

Where? We were nowhere near anywhere that would have a mask.

The train station entrance was literly underneath the Seine and it took us 20 minutes to find the nearly hidden staircase leading down to the dungeon where the troll booth was.

There were no stores.  There was no hope.

He left me again in the train station and came back 1 minute later with a mask on.

I could not believe it.

I shouldn't have been surprised...  Raleigh lives a bit of a charmed life.

Things just happen for him because he believes they will.

He believed he would walk out of the station under a river and find a mask.

Who am I to argue with him?

Because he did.

"Where in the world did you find that?"  I asked.

He said "that duchebag was outside smoking and found some compassion in his cold and cruel heart and gave me one.  He freaking had a pocket full of them.  He just wanted to watch us search for one first".

I could not believe it.  It's probably the only "nice" thing he's ever done in his entire life.  Being nice to an American probably counts double at the pearly gates, I'm sure.

Much to my dismay, we somehow managed to get to Versailles.

I watched the Netflix Series "Versailles" in January and I was so in love with Prince Philippe, Duc of Orleans, who was the brother of the Super Jerk, King Louis XIV.  I have the biggest fan girl crush on him.

This is of course, the actor and is as unreal as Lady Mary, but I don't care about that.  In my head he is SO real and SO gorgeous and wears the greatest outfits with the most DARLING shoes I have ever seen and I was going to HIS HOUSE...  I couldn't wait to get there.

Look at that hairstyle.  It's amazing

First floor of the chapel

The second floor and ceiling of the chapel was spectacular.  The whole palace was spectacular actually.  It is just amazing that these palaces were built so many years ago with 1/100 of the technology we have now.  We are so much more physically able to build gorgeous buildings and yet, we have NOTHING anywhere near these buildings.  How did they do it?  I have so much respect.

King Louis XIV's Chamber where he was arrogantly unfaithful to literally everyone and called himself the SunKing and was such a yucky person.  Poo Poo on you King Louis  

The Hall of Mirrors

Marie Therese of Spain's bedroom where she was forced to birth her children while everyone watched seated in chairs and where she died way too soon after being poisoned.  

There he is the Duc of Orleans

Not anywhere near as beautiful as the actor but still my favorite

Louis, you were an arrogant jerk of a human, but you sure knew how to create a garden of incomparable grandure.  I felt so blessed to get to be there

We tried again to eat while we were there in the little snack area down by the fountain, but again were COMPLETELY unsuccessful.  We ordered a ham sandwich, chips, a couple of drinks and we really tried to say the French words correctly, but we got TWO CREPES.  I don't know how.  We hadn't eaten anything of any real value for now 36 hours.  And as much as we wanted to stay here all day, our need for nouishment fast became our only priorty.

It was time to go and try to seriously find some real food.

My body just needed some beef.

We took the train back to Paris and right when we got off, like a oasis in the desert right before us was a 

FIVE GUYS

and guess what????

And the best part was the order taker, could understand us.

And I was at this moment the happiest girl on the planet, in the universe, in the cosmos.

I ate that burger in three bites and drank those fries.

It was quite possibly manna straight from Heaven and nothing could go wrong from here on out...

Until we took the M9 to the M4 with our luggage in tow, DURING RUSH HOUR ON FRIDAY NIGHT that is....

Picture the New York Subway at it's busiest time of day.

This was the same thing, only we had a suitcase.

Like idiots.

We were idiots and we were the only people who didn't realize it.

The M9 pulled up infront of us and there was NO WAY we were both getting on that thing especially with our bag...  but I'm with glass half full, Raleigh, so dang it, we were sure gunna try.

Raleigh and the bag got on somehow but I didn't fit.  I had to wedge myself on by contorting my body like a side show freak.  My feet were here, my butt was over there and my right arm was somehow wrapped around the neck of the man I was standing next to.  I'm a little person, but I wasn't fitting and the door was closing and my feet were wedged between Raleigh's feet and the feet of Jean Claude standing next to me.  It was just like they were in a bucket of cement and Raleigh, determined to put me in front of him, so HE could be the only person touching my bum, started pushing me towards the center of the train, where there was NO room for me... he was pushing and pulling me,  but my feet couldn't move.  They were trapped where they were.  Determined to stay right there.  After all, what was wrong with staying right there????   I was fine right there!!!  And the more I didn't move, the harder he pulled me.  I didn't really know what was going on, it was such a chaotic squished up mess, I could hardly tell which body parts were mine and which were someone elses.  But what I did come to know really quickly was that the top half of my body was going in one direction and my feet WERE NOT GOING WITH IT.

All I could think of to say OR rather all I had time to say was

"I CAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTT"

I was trying to tell him my feet were in cement and I couldn't move them.

And I was going down hard and fast and I grabbed onto his shirt and pulled him down with me.

The stupid Americans with the suitcase were falling all over the train and the French people hated us for it.  

A woman somehow managed to keep Raleigh from falling on top of me and he was able to grab onto my hand and pull me back up.  And all of the people just glared at me like I was a lepper.

I wish I could say the M4 transfer went more smoothly, but of course it didn't, why would it?  Raleigh's backpack got stuck in the door and it closed on it, only it couldn't close all the way and so all sorts of bells and whistles started going off and the people were pulling and yanking on him trying to get him in the train before the door squished him to death.  It was HORRIBLE, I tell you.

Never was I more excited to get out of a country than I was to get out of France.

Buh Bye France and the Eurostar.

We will probably not come back.

I am so sad to say that.  Because I think in all of the world, there is not a more spectacularly beautiful country than France.  I surely have never seen it's equal.

But, I just wasn't a fan of my French experience and I gave the country two days to make me a fan, but it couldn't do it for me.  Heavy Sigh.

I came, I saw and that is all for this girl.

Every cliche that has ever been said about France and the people is absolutely true. 

They are rude and they hate Americans and it's okay.

I'll just never go there again.

And no one will even care.

The next two days back in our beloved LONDON, we purchased hop on/hop off bus passes and spent all of our time seeing the sights in the heart of the the city.  I simply love the way everyone talks in London.  Especially the men.  I noticed that the boys in London are exceptionally more good looking than your typical American boy on our streets. And they say the greatest things in the greatest way.  I enjoyed listening to them talk to each other.

Of all the modes of travel we took, the hop on/hop off bus made us the most whoosy.  It took days for me to recover from The Big Bus.  Four days after retruning home, we were still rocking.  It wasn't enough to make us sick, but we couldn't turn our heads fast or look down without spinning a little bit.

St Paul's Cathedral.  I am sad we didn't go into St Paul's... but they wanted $25.00 each.

It's possible it may not have been worth the expense.  We'll never know.  But when I was watching The Divinci Code the other day and Tom Hanks was in St. Paul's, I deeply regretted not being able to say "I was RIGHT there."  I'm $50.00 up though.  Blah.....

Big Ben

The London Eye, which incidentally, we could also see from our hotel room at night

We asked this cute little Nigerian Man to take our picture with Winston

It's okay....

Westminister Abbey

10 Downing Street

BoJo was in HUGE trouble while we were here for some Covid Violations he

broke back in 2020 and the people were SO mad at him and were saying he needed to resign.

I think the people are ALWAYS mad at the Prime Minister in England though.

Nevertheless, I just had to laugh.

He was in huge trouble because he made a law that people couldn't congregate during 2020 and then he attended a party and people are saying "off with his head" and then I think of what OUR wretched politicians are up to right now and it's so enormously more horrible by comparrison.

This kid on this horse was so funny.  Really stupid people kept touching his horse and the horse was getting upset.  And he would very calmly say....  "Haaannds off my horse mate."  and "kindly move on, cheers" with as little emotion as humanly possible.  I felt sorry for him.

These cute little "buttons" line the sidewalks along The Mall, which I loved.

I loved walking down the Mall.

Buckingham Palace

The balcony where they've all stood so many times looking gorgeous and waving at the people

Sunday morning, Easter Sunday, we attended the Hyde Park Second Ward.

It was such a highlight.

They sing the same songs, in the same way and do everything exactly as we do it.

This is what I wore to church and I was BY FAR not the most under dressed person in attendance

I wanted to hear a lot of accents, but the two speakers were from Provo, the man who was conducting was from the US, one of the men blessing the sacrament was Asian and the other man was American.

So disappointing.

But the meeting was really fun and I am so glad we were able to attend.

Meanwhile, Papa and Nana were working overtime to make sure our kids were having a lovely week while we were gone for so many days.

My kids had the best time with them and are SO blessed to have grandparents that love them as much as my parents love them.  We never worried about them one time the whole time we were gone and every time we Facetimed them, they were so happy and emotionally secure and that can only be because they knew they were being well cared for and loved.  That made it so we could completely enjoy ourselves.  I cannot thank them enough for that gift.  I know it wasn't easy for either of them.  I think my mom slept on the couch because our bed was too high for her to climb up into.  My kids told us that Papa sleeps in your bed, but he sleeps on top of the covers and he sleeps sideways.  Consequently, I know they didn't sleep well.  They also were trying to work while taking care of all of our responsibilities and it was Spring Break at work, so that could NOT have been fun for them.  But, we didn't hear about any of this.  They just kept telling us how good our kids are and how much fun they were having with them.

We are so grateful for them.

They are so good to/for our kids.

Coloring Easter Eggs and Easter Egg Hunts are above and beyond the call of duty if you ask me

We spent the rest of Sunday exploring the Tower of London and Tower Bridge

The Bridge is beautiful and took my breath away

The Tower of London was originally built in 1066 by William the Conquerer who built the White Tower after he invaded England from Northern France.  The White Tower is in the center and several buildings were built around it to protect it.  

Today the Tower of London protects the Crown Jewels.  In the 1660's, Charles II was the first king to display them to the public.  When a new king or queen is crowned, they use the crowns and other ceremonial objects.  This fortress once protected weapons and documents.  Now it protects the jewels.  

There used to be a mote around it that was filled with water.  The waste from the chamberpots would flow out into it.  The stench and filth caused it to have to be drained and now it is just a grassy area.

Later that night we bought souvenirs and strolled the streets for one last look and we ate a freaking delicious meal

And then we caught a 6:00am uber to the airport and started our ALL DAY jouney home.

15 hours in the air, 2 hours on the road.  We were exhausted when we got home

We are SO happy that we were able to go on this adventure.

We had the time of our lives.  There are no words to say how much I loved being able to go.  I am changed.  I am more brave.  I value the important things in life so much more.  I missed my kids terribly.  I am SO happy that we didn't die in the plane.  It was just SO great.

We got right back into our normal life...

That is after we spent a day doing our laundry and sleeping and trying to unjetlag ourselves.

It took us five days to get back on our normal sleep schedule and stop waking up at 3:00 am.

Raleigh brought home a London Flu with him.

He hasn't been that sick in years.  Poor Boy.  I felt so sorry for him.  How blessed he was that he didn't get sick until the very same second we landed in Las Vegas.  

I returned to work with a TON of projects to resume.

We brought TWO homes on the week I returned meaning I had to decorate and photo shoot both of them PRONTO, afterall we were behind schedule.

My game was a little off, but we pulled it off pretty well...

I feel kindof bad because my heart wasn't in it before I left and it wasn't in it even more after I returned.  

I'll do better on the next two.

We resumed Friday Night Restaurants at Freddy's

and boy were we excited about it.

I just LOVE American food.  I am so happy to be back eating American food again.

I wonder if Europeans come over here and say...I have never in my entire life eaten such delicious food... How can I possibly go back to my country and eat that horrible food after eating this amazing American food.  Americans are SO lucky.

I can't be bothered with taking pictures when there is delicious food to be consumed

I loved April 2022 so much.

I just feel completely different about life in general.  I appreciate the important things so much more.  I appreciate beauty more and my marriage more and my parents and my children and my house and my country and the food in my country.  I appreciate spiritual blessings and walking into fears.  I am so blessed.  WE are so blessed, moreso than we deserve.  I am looking forward to more life adventures and special opportunities.  Whatta month.