May is traditionally slow as far as months go. It is a transitional month. From Spring to Summer. From nice weather to horrid weather. From school to no school. I thought after last month, May would seem boring.... but May was really fun and eventful and I for the most part loved it.
At work, we use May to get caught up between busy seasons. This year in addition to getting caught up. we are moving..... again. Things can NEVER be "just so" at Arcadia. Everything always has to be changing and in commotion. We are in a constant state of ever-changing chaos. Someone is always thinking that we could be better, if we just change this or that. And we never really improve, we just change. Nevertheless, everyone is always frustrated. Jaden, who works for me and who is incidentally the hardest worker I have ever known (so contrary to his generation), worked his tail off moving our storage section over to another storage section.
I will admit that our temporary storage area was a total mess. But I like to use the analogy that we were in a "rental" waiting for our home to be built. When you move temporarily into a rental while your real home is being built, you don't hang up your artwork or organize your garage. You leave everything in boxes. That is what we did. Well that had to be moved out and then moved over to the new storage area and poor Jaden took that job on himself and did the work of four men.
Peyton, has always been a tom boy. There were days that I would beg her to just let me do this or that, so that she would have some resemblance of a girl. But she would just get mad at me for even suggesting it. Well recently she started hanging around with a new group of friends. All girls. Super cute girls that are definitely not girly girls, but not tom boys either. Just somewhere nicely inbetween. Next thing I know, I am not putting her hair in a ponly tail anymore, I am straightening it and leaving it down. And then, she out of the blue comes in one day and says that she has some clothes in the shopping cart on Shein and was wondering if I could get them for her. Girl clothes. I almost died. I couldn't place the order fast enough.
She is exactly in between a tom boy and a girly girl, which is a perfect place for her to be. Since then, she has dropped at least $500 worth of clothes in the cart, with instructions that we can buy them for her for next years school clothes and we can give all of her old stuff to HER BROTHER...
Allie got her wisdom teeth out on the 5th.
She had it done in Provo and so her dad helped her... and after Morgan's dramatic wisdom tooth extraction fiasco, I didn't have it in me to do that again. She was really upset in the waiting room right before they took her back. She was worried about the IV and she cried a lot. Her surgery went very well. Eric sent me this video of her afterward and I bawled like a baby watching it 50 times. First of all because I was so sad that I wasn't with her to hug her. But secondly, because why couldn't I get the cute, sweet child? Why did I get the vomiting, dramatic, sobbing, hysterical, never stopped talking about her weight and her relationships and her opinions about all of us... child?
I did get super funny videos out of THAT CHILD though...
A bit swollen
A little bit more swollen
And then she fell apart....
I guess we know now FOR SURE that she is allergic to penicillin.
She broke out in the most painful, itchy, horrible rash.
She had tight skin and welts and blisters all over her body.
She lived in lavendar baths for two solid days.
And Kate did the best she could to take care of her.
Eventually, she went to instacare and they gave her a steroid and that helped her.
Poor little girl, who just needed a mother.
Moving on to our next dramatic May experience....
I was at work. We are all a mess there because where we used to have stuff in easily accessible places where any and all employees could access it, we no longer do. And where we used to have strong, helpful maintenance men, to help us move things.... FOR FREE, we no longer do... so when someone from my department needs a box of King Sheets and I am the only one working on site anymore, I have to go get them. So I did. I drove in my car clear across to the very back corner of our property where we have a storage container with all of our stuff in it. Because we are no longer allowed to store our stuff in easy to get to places, we have to drive 2 blocks away. I drove over there. I opened the spectacularly heavy door to the container. The boxes of King Sheets are stacked in cases on top of each other 6 feet high. I tried to move the top box of sheets that is TWICE my body weight..... but when I tried to move it, it shifted weird and fell on me. I turned my back toward the falling case, just in time to protect my head and to brace for the impact. It ricocheted off of my shoulder blades and broke open all over the floor. I picked up the first of two bags of the sheets (they each weigh about 50 pounds and are NOT easy to pick up) and managed to awkwardly get it into the car. When I was walking back to get the other one, I thought.... "you need to lift the next one more correctly, or you are going to hurt yourself". So I did... bent at the knees, used my legs etc. I got that one to my car too and started driving away. As I was driving back towards my office.... I started not feeling very good. I was suddenly super sweaty and shaky. Like I might pass out. I delivered the sheets to where they needed to go, even though my main goal was not to deliver them, but rather NOT TO PASS OUT ON THE SIDEWALK....I then drove to my office, I managed somehow to get myself inside and I sat down at my desk. Even though I was in a complete fog. AND THEN....... my body went into full on convulsions. Like I was wrenching or dry heaving or something like it. And I couldn't breathe or stop the spazzing. Because I was so out of control and lurching around, I started getting really upset and I began to hyperventilate. I was scared I was going to pass out by myself in my office with no one around to know what had happened to me or to help me. So I fumbled around for my phone and called my mom (thank goodness for siri at that particular moment).... I said..... in a super shaky, can't breathe voice, "can you come sit with me?" She was 5 houses down the street and she came running over. Later she told me in the time it took her to drive 5 houses down, she thought of 500 possible scenarios that she was going to find me in when she arrived. But, she wasn't ready for this..... I was flopping all around, sitting up and then laying my head down on my desk trying to breathe, sitting up again and crying. laying back down. Grabbing my back and my chest. Moaning. So she did what I would have done and left me, to go get my dad. He came over and rubbled my back and asked me lots of questions and he thought based on my symptoms and where the pain was, and not knowing the whole story, because I couldn't talk very well and I wasn't thinking clearly enough to explain stuff very well, that I could have kidney stones. It seemed really weird that the symptoms would come on that fast and that hard. I was literally fine one minute and one minute later, I was possessed. But, mom assured me they do come on that fast when you have stones and you do feel very out of control. Who am I to know differently? Then Sam came in. And she determined that I was dying. So she called another of our co-workers who had just had kidney stones and told her to "get over here with meds".
Kimberley brought 800 mg ibuprofen, which she told me would do no good, but here they were anyway. She gave me two barf bags because she said if I did have kidney stones, I would need them. And my dad drove my car toward home with me in it and my mom drove behind us in their car. Half way home, I said "can you just take me to the ER".
He knew it was serious at that point. I NEVER want to go to the doctor. We called Raleigh so he could meet us there with the medical cards and strong muscles. I was super upset at the hosipital. I was pacing. I couldn't breathe. I thought I was having a heart attack. I felt like I was going to throw up. And if I were a lesser person, I totally would have all over the waiting room with everyone watching me. I got up and walked around outside, in case I suddenly did let it go, so I could do so privately in the bushes.
They finally took me back.... they were in NO HURRY. The nurse hooked me up to an IV. Gave me some sub standard drugs that maybe took the edge off. I'll cut them some slack, at least I could breathe now. The doctor sent me back for a CT scan, to look at my kidneys. He also had the nurse draw some blood. Freaking TWO hours later, the doctor came in and said NO KIDNEY STONES.
He said (based on the 2 minutes I have spent with you) "you don't act like you have kidney stones. I think it's more likely you hurt yourself when you were lifting. I am going to guess you have a muscle skeltal back sprain. But that is not what is really concerning. Your white blood count is super high and your platelet levels are even more super high".
What does that mean? Cancer? I have heard that means cancer.
He said there was nothing to indicate that. All of your organs are clear. There weren't any masses or dark spots on any of them. Your urine is clear. Everything else in your blood is in normal range. But, your levels in these two areas are really exrememly high. With white blood cells, normal is 500 to 1000... yours are 1900. Platelets normal range is 150 to 400... yours are 885. Yeah... BAD!!
So, now that we were shifting our worries to something else, I had to change my thinking....
I said.... I have been sick this past week. I had a pretty bad fever 6 days ago. I have had a ton of pressure in my sinuses, my left ear is aching and it hurts in my teeth. Could I have a sinus infection? He totally dismissed that. Like I was a whack job. Like that wasn't or couldn't possibly be a possibility. He said the trauma that you have just been through could account for the white blood cell counts being high, but the platelets is a different story. High platelets can indicate an infection.
Yeah.... but did you hear me say that I have literally been sick? Like I literally had infection running through my body for the past 2-6 days? I know this because like I said I had a fever, not even one week ago..... Are you hearing me, man? It seems that maybe you could perscribe an antibiotic for me just as a procaution. I could take that and either kill AN INFECTION or if we are living in la-la land, which we apparently are, it will kill nothing more than a fabrication in my mind. Either way, we will give my platelets a fighting chance of returning to normal?
But NO.
Instead, with all of his wisdom he thought: I am going to just send you home to fight this "so called infection" on your own. With NO help from modern medicine. Best of luck to you.
Follow up with another doctor, who isn't me, to find out what could possibly be causing these test results to be so out of whack. You came to me with what you thought were kidney stones. You whack-a-doo. I told you, you don't have those. I diagnosed you with what is probably more accurate, a back sprain, based on the events of your day. But, you have WAAAAYYYY too many problems for me to tackle and the more I talk to you, the more complicated and bizarre you get.... I think I will wash my hands of you because this visit is turning out to be too much for me as an ER doctor to handle. Here in the ER...."turn and burn" is our motto I am turning you over to someone else and the time has come for you to burn on out of here now...
He gave me percocet and told me to follow up with my real doctor next week. I took a couple of days off mostly because I LITERALLY COULD NOT MOVE. My pain levels were at a solid 8 for 48 hours. AND I HAD A FEVER. And chills. Both hot and cold chills. I shook all night the first night. I alternated between shaking and spasming. Not good for a back injury AT ALL.... let me be the first to tell you. There wasn't a position that I could stand in, sit in or lay down in that brought any relief. I was so nauseous. And this, it turns out, was due to me not only having strained my back but my stomach also. You might notice, at the very bottom of the "healthy organs list" there is a line where the radiologist said: "I see a hernia", but the doc also failed to mention that little tidbit. It was like he got bored reading about how awesome my organs were, and so he stopped reading before he got to the good part. Holy Cow. What a mess. I was a mess. And the next four days were even messier. I laid flat on my back in excruciating pain. My brain would tell me that if I moved and laid in a different position, it would feel better and then I would move, but my brain had lied to me. Percocet sort of took the edge off a little bit, but also made me feel sick, so I battled between feeling pain or sick and which one was worse. I cried a lot. I tried everything. Raleigh endlessly massaged me or rubbed Biofreeze on me or helped me in and out of bed. It was every bit as painful for him as it was for me.
I eventually resorted to prayer. I had done everything that I could do in MY power to help myself. It was time to ask for real help. So I did. But, I was stopped in my tracks with a conflict of faith. Here it is: I KNOW the Lord can heal me immediately. Instantly remove my pain. I KNOW He can do this. But, I also know enough about Him to know.... he probably won't. It's not that He can't. It's just that He won't. I am meant to learn something first. Well, here was the lesson. I was asking wrong. I was asking the question the wrong way.
Instead of asking Him to remove the pain (or the trial) I was supposed to be asking:
Please help ME to know what I need to do to:
1. remove the pain.
2. find the courage to deal with the pain OR
3. where to go to get help for the pain.
The second I did that and changed the way I asked the question, the thoughts came into my mind... "take a dramamine with the percocet" then "go into the kitchen and fill a gallon size plastic bag with ice and put that on your stomach then move it to your back." And just like that RELIEF from nausea. RELIEF enough from the pain so I could sleep for a few hours. And I was able to endure it. It still wasn't easy by any means, but suddenly I was a little bit more powerful than the problem and I could deal with it instead of it dealing with me.
Peyton had her end of year choir concert. She not only had a solo part, but she played her ukelele in a little band. This is Peyton, who in fifth grade could hardly function, her anxiety was so bad/paralyzing. I never thought she would be able to survive the first day of sixth grade. But she has excelled this year. She is popular and funny and smart and super well adjusted. I have been amazed at the way she tackled her challenges and didn't let them overcome her.
She was called to be the "Beehive" President this month.
She took calling her counselors very seriously and I loved her reasoning behind her choices.
I can't wait to watch her serve and grow while she learns how to be a leader
I am so proud of her
Kaleigh's big final project of fifth grade was the Wax Museum. She chose to be Audrey Hepburn.
She is obsessed with women of the 50s and 60s. She worked so hard on her essay and we worked on her clothes.
As much as an 11 year old could possibly look like Audrey, she did. She is darling.
But she HATES attention. She hates people talking to her. Looking at her. She was miserable. We could tell the second we walked up.
Some unknowing, completely well-meaning people would walk by her and stop and ask her to present her speech for them and she would very reluctantly stand up, uncontrollably shaking, swallowing every other word, speaking in a whisper, and deliver her speech. My heart broke for her. She called Raleigh over after about 20 minutes and said.... "Dad, I hate this. I just want to go home. Can you just take me home?". Poor little, beautiful girl.
WELL HELLS BELLS
that wasn't going to happen anytime soon.
The very same day that I was given the direction to lower my stress, I was being forced to get on a plane
and fly to Park City for work retreat
I had to get on a freaking puddle jumper and fly from St. George to Salt Lake City.
Which on a stress scale from 1 to 10 was about a MILLION. I know I look happy in these pictures, but rest assured, I WAS NOT. Happiness was no where near me. I had to go to a "happy place" in my brain and trick my mind into believing I was somewhere totally different than I really was. I already don't like to fly, but put me in the smallest plane there is... in a seat that I can barely fit in, and I'm for sure, really freaking OUT... and then.... make me have to retreat with people from work??? Luckily.... I quite like these particular people I work with, so that part of it wasn't bad at all and in fact was really good for me. IN FACT.... the retreat was actually really good for me. If I am being honest. I overcame a ton of personal infalabilities in the three days we were there. Starting with fear of flying, traveling, work retreats, being away from my family and standing up for myself professionally, speaking my mind, overcoming obstacles and working well with others.
Originally there were supposed to be nine of us.
But five wimped out for various reasons.
One of the reasons being fear of flying.
Wimps.
One of them also being not wanting to deal with possible drama.
(Give me a break...)
Men are such freaking babies.
(Are you hearing me? The men wimped out because they were afraid to fly and because there might be some drama when we talked about all of the problems we are currently having in the work place.)
We were all pissed off at each other, but we were going to each other individually and saying "I am super pissed off at you and I want to yell at you for a minute"
That is NOT drama
That is trying to work problems out...
And MAN WE HAD A TON OF PROBLEMS THAT NEEDED TO BE WORKED OUT!!!!!
The Brave Ones stayed in a gorgeous home where the three of us had our own FLOOR
Not just our own room, but our own floor.
Actually.... thank you Losers for crapping out.
The accomidations were spectacular!!!
We had the best time and we got along beautifully and bonded perfectly and it couldn't have been better
and y'all would have ruined that. Hahaha
We went on a Rhino Ride
NOT good for the back, I have to say
but it didn't kill me
Some of us went shooting
Shooting would have put me out of commission
however, it looked pretty fun.
I am not a lover of guns. I don't like them at all.
They scare me just to be near them, so I was really glad to have an excuse not to have to participate in that activity. I was also surprised that Kim was the best shooter of the group. It was her first time. Who would have thought? I love that she showed up the "shooters".
We cruised around in nature
Hunted our own food
Ate at some pretty delicious restaurants
Went on really long, hard and beautiful walks
Had massages.
Speaking of massages: the girl that worked on me told me that my back was a mess. The left side of my back, the side that was injured, was two inches higher than the right side of my back.
She could see a 6 inch bruise in the exact spot that it hurt the most. She also said the exact words
"your body is in so much trauma right now, I can't even get my fingers near your muscles or joints."
That was a little bit upsetting to me.
I received a call from my doctor after my massage that my smear came back as requiring me to go see a hemotologist. The soonest they could get me in is middle June. So the saga continues.
We also talked a little bit about work while we were all together.
We worked on some issues that we were having and we also somehow managed to
convince our boss to give me some of the things I needed at work to make life there more bearable in the midst of at least a thousand changes he is making.
And thankfully, he agreed.
Nevertheless, it was a very good trip and I am so glad that I went and braved through the scary part because it was a very good thing to get to go and bond with co-workers and feel more a part of a group
Meanwhile, Raleigh held down the fort and took the kids out to eat every night
And attended school activities
Rykers Animal History Museum
He chose a penguin for his featured animal.
His report was so darling and well thought out.
I actually learned a lot about penguins after reading it.
After they picked me up at the airport, we went to get treats at the store to celebrate my safe return
Rals worked hard on the yard while it was still cool outside.
He planted a Crepe Myrtle bush that we hope will grow large and full and be beautiful with blossoms.
Also.... I need to report how much he LOVES his new job
HE LOVES IT
He is so good at it
And he is making a difference every day
His office is so cute too. Sorry Morgan, that your room is now a gym.
Sorry Allie that your room is now an office.
When you come visit, you can for sure sleep on the couch, but that is the best we can do for you.
Just look at the view out of his office window
How could that not make a person happy?
We spent several nights studying Come Follow Me
those nights are my absolute favorite.
I love when one of us reads something amazing and shares it with the other
and that launches us into a huge conversation.
This marriage is my biggest blessing.
I always wanted a husband that I could discuss gospel topics with....
I am truly so very blessed to be married to someone with a strong testimony
who is also very good looking and SO good to me
Kaleigh was awarded the Crown of Kindness.
Her teacher has been so good to her this year.
She knows how shy she is and she doesn't make her do things she doesn't want to do very often.
She has tried to stretch her a little bit, but she is shy herself, so she gets it
Ryker received a metal and a certificate for working VERY hard on The Quest
Which is a lot of reading and online certifications
He is on a 7th math level and he's in the 4th grade.
Ryker also started baseball again and he did really well in his first game.
He's a Dodger this year.
Hannibal Lecter helped Raleigh move Quincey's new bed in to her apartment
Kaleigh is one of South Mesa Elementary's newest graduates
She is onto Intermediate School next year.
I cannot believe it. Where is the time going?
Raleigh heard me ask at least 5 times for a bread maker in subtle ways
and so he got one for me for my birthday.
It's so cute
And then he made me loaf after loaf of the most delicious bread
I love any and all bread, but fresh homemade bread, is truly the very best taste
My birthday was so lousy.
I worked .... and when say I worked, I REALLY WORKED.
Like sweated and felt light headed.
And almost all of my co-workers took the day off
which left me to fill in for multiple people and added extra un-needed stress on me.
And I went home and cried tears of frustration
and we decided that we would celebrate my birthday on the 28th instead, and pretend like the 27th never happened.
So, we did. We celebrated at Downton Abbey.
Allie and Kate came down for the the birthday weekend to go to Downton Abbey
We have been waiting for so long.
We ate fro-yo at Menchies
and Papa and Nana treated all of us to lunch at my very favorite
Chick-fil-A
I wore my Highclere Castle shirt that I got IN ENGLAND when we traveled there
for almost the only reason to go see Downton Abbey in person
I cried a little bit at the end of the movie and it made my ears plug
up which made me super dizzy. And if I look like I don't feel good in our
pictures, it's because I didn't feel good at all.
But the movie was so great and happy and made us feel warm and fuzzy inside
The girls binge watched Stranger Things for the rest of weekend
We finally moved over to our new office.
We were originally told they'd be finished building it in December.... it's the end of May.
This is the fourth time I have moved offices in two years.
I have never felt settled or set up.
I was totally excited to get into what I thought might be my final office resting place.
I unpacked my boxes, it took quite a while to get everything situated and hooked up.
I sat down at my desk and then got word that our boss didn't like the way we had set up OUR offices and he had hired movers to come in and switch them around.
I don't know how to be micromanaged very well.
I don't know who really does.
We are grown up women being treated like a 5 year olds and it really stinks!!
Our desks are all bass-akwards now and we are collectively as a group.... so disgruntled.
But, what's new???
This stupid sinus infection has literally ruined my entire month. I have felt sick almost every single day. I was super blessed that it didn't affect me while I was flying or up in Park City, I can't imagine how horrible it would have been to fly with bad sinuses or uncontrollable dizzy spells. I haven't been to the doctor for YEARS, and this month I have already been FOUR times. I have taken at least 10 different types of medication. Today on the very last day of the month, I got super sick and Raleigh had to drive me to my doctor's appointment because I was SO dizzy I didn't know if I was coming or going and the doctor told him that he needed to monitor me for SIGNS OF A STROKE!! So that's pretty cool.
My whole body was put through the ringer this month and reminded me that good health is so important to your emotional and mental health as well. It was nice to know that all of my organs are in great shape even though the rest of me feels like I am 125 years old. Knowing my kidneys and liver are plugging away was good for my piece of mind.
I am grateful for the opportunity I had to travel again, so soon after Europe. I need to keep doing that so I can stop being scared of planes/traveling/leaving my house in general.
I am ready to get into our busy season, so that we can get it over with
I am so happy that we had a very sucessful school year and the kids are so well adjusted and happy at school and that Raleigh is SO happy at work.
I love our callings and hope they don't switch us up quite yet. I love being a teacher. I love teaching material that I LOVE.... I love learning about the Old Testiment and drawing parallels. I have never learned as much as I have learned this year. It has been the most fun
We are so at peace when we are at home and that speaks volumes to me. I am truly blessed that no matter how overwhelming my work day is, I am instantly at peace when I walk in the door of our home.
I love the spirit that is here and how wonderful it feels.
Let's do this summer!!
The faster we get into it that faster it ends
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