June 2026

15 months ago on a lovely March evening walk, Rals casually and very under the radar mentioned to me that he and the Murray Boys were planning their next boys golfing trip.

I love when they go on boys golfing trips

It makes me so happy.

I excitedly inquired of the destination and the timing

Kiawah Island.

June 2026.

It is the Pebble Beach of the East Coast.

It's an island exclusively for golfing.

It's big time.

Everyone has heard of it. 

Oh so fun. 

Only.... he said.... this year we are thinking that we will bring the wives. 

Huh?  I said.

What a stupid idea. 

Wives on a golf trip is like

oil and vinegar

butter and hot water

water on a grease fire

Bro....  no.

Horrible idea.

WHY????  he asked.

Why in the world would I be interested in using 40 hours of my already limited PTO,

to spend 10 hours on a plane

 and probably a HUGE sum of money

to sit in a hotel room on a golf island waiting for you to return from several rounds of golf.

Only to go to dinner with you and  maybe get to go for a walk around the perimeter of a golf course if I am lucky.

I would most definitely be an afterthought. 

Not the first thought.

I would have nothing to do and if I found something to do, I would be doing it by myself. 

I am 15 years older than your friends' wives.

Horrible idea. 

Thanks for the thought, but NO.  Go have the best time with your friends. 

But I will not be joining you on your BOYS Golf Trip.

I was clear. 

I didn't beat around the bush.

I didn't leave a smidge of the door open for reconsideration.

And that conversation abruptly ended. 

Fast forward to 6 months later. 

On a walk again. 

So.....  Kiawah Island? 

Still a no? 

Yes....  still a no. 

This time with passion. 

A. Big. Fat. No. 

And tell your buddies NOW that your wife will not be going because it's the stupidest idea ever. 

If you want to take your wives on a trip, that is SO nice.... But take your wives on a trip where they feel important.   Pick an exciting destination where there are actually things to do and things to see and visit and let them feel like they are part of the trip, help them feel special and loved and (here's a thought) special.  

I just will not be going on this trip.

Sorry Rals...  but traveling is not easy for me as it is. 

The destination MUST be worth the journey and this just doesn't sound like it will be that.... for the wives at least.    

 I would take steps while steps can still be taken to let them know, you either will not be attending

this one

OR 

Here's an idea.

Let's ditch the females.

And that conversation ended

Fast forward to 3 months ago. 

Yet another walk. 

Um....  so I have to book my flight to Kiawah.

Are you sure you don't want me to book one for you?  

Are we seriously having this conversation?  

I am really NOT going.

I am really NOT going to change my mind. 

I have really been really clear about my feelings.

Have you told them that you are going stag? 

No. Not yet. 

Oh no.  I would tell them.

Maybe there is still time to turn this around if you were to do that. 

Yeah, I probably should.

And that conversation quickly ended.  

Fast forward to June 3rd.

Another walk. 

So.............   You know that I am leaving in the middle of the night on Sunday to go to

Kiawah?

WHAT IN THE WORLD? 

I burst into tears.

Why would you do this? 

Why would you consider for 10 seconds to go on a couple's trip without your couple?  

Why didn't you exit yourself out of this a year ago?

I was flabbergasted and befuddled and SO IN SHOCK.

As of this day, June 3rd, only one of the friends had even been slightly told that I would not be in attendance and my husband was for some strange and odd (and for lack of a better word) awkardly okay with 

BEING A SEVENTH WHEEL ON A COUPLES ISLAND SOIREE.

I sobbed for the better part of 2 hours in the backyard at the brain deadedness of

these men thinking that inviting wives on a golfing trip wasn't the most inconsiderate drag of a trip they could ever invite us to go on. 

Please come with us across the country and sit in the hotel room from 7 am until 3 pm while we golf the Pebble Beach of the East Coast.

Then we will come home, take a shower and probably want to take a nap for an hour or two and then

we will go eat on one of 3 restaurants on the island where we have to wear fancy clothes and penny loafers and spend exorbitant amount of money on gross food and then we will have to hurry home and get to bed because we have a 7 am Tee Time in the morning. 

And as I sobbled and tried to explain. 

All of the sudden he realized that there was probably not going to be a lot for them to do.

And they might feel bored and sad and lonely.

But....

Guess what also happened in the backyard on June 3rd

As I praddled on and on, feeling SO sorry for myself and saying so many words....

As he just sat there listening to me with so much compassion and love....

I began to realize my horrific behavior in this story from the very beginning.

Why did I boldly and unemotionally choose to stay home when my

husband who loves me so much and wants to be with me almost always

wanted to go with me on a week long getaway.

Why did I make the decision to not go on a couples trip with my sweetest 

husband with his best friends and their wives? 

Why did I entertain for ONE second being the reason that he now has to go 

on a humiliating couples vacation all by himself?  

I never considered for a millisecond how he might have been feeling.

How he may have been embarrassed to tell his friends that his wife was selfish

and unfeeling and so wreched.

How he may have been so excited to golf at this location, he was willing to 

go alone, because he had no other choice, while his friends were bringing their people. 

How he may have to navigate questions from his buddies as to the current state of his 

marriage.  

I never considered how this was making him feel.

My heart was suddenly so broken

WHY WOULD I DO THIS TO HIM?

I am quite possibly the worst wife in the entire world. 

Nevertheless, on the morning of the 8th, he left.  All by himself.

At 3:00 AM he drove down to Las Vegas alone, boarded a plane alone and flew across the 

country alone.  

  And I cried in my bed until it was time to get up and get ready for work. 

I will never forget how horrible I felt.

I have never loved him more. 

Turns out.... the golfing was "alright" as long as they avoided getting eaten alive by mosiquitos

and alegators

And they survived 200% humidity for 6 hours

4 days in a row

(He had to buy deodorant twice)

and change his shirt a couple of times a day.

Here is what happened while he was gone. 

~Payback for bad behavior~

We learned how to turn the water off to our house at the street.

The hose spigot literally blew off of the side of our house and launched 

across our backyard and then a fire hydrant force of water came pouring 

out of the hole where the front part of the spigot used to be

and started flooding our backyard.  

Ryker got help via facetime with dad, to know how to turn the water to our house off 

at the street.  

Something every 14 year old boy should know how to do anyway.

And he did it like a champ.

I called and arranged to have a plumber come and switch out the spigot 

and what a blessing it was that he was able to come first thing the next morning.

We weren't able to shower, flush the toilets or brush our teeth, but

it wasn't for very long

It may have been a blessing that I was home and NOT in South Carolina.

I don't know what our kids would have done

Happy to say, that part of the month ended and we are all happy again. 

"No more wives on golf trips in the future" was the sentiment across the board. 

Ryker continued living the dream.

He attended TWO football camps this summer.

One at SUU

And in the evenings when he wasn't at camp he fished

And walked all over St. George eating a various restaurants.

Hung out with friends and friends that are girls. 

Made 25 trips to Maverick for hot dogs, pizza and sodas.

Came home way too late at night

And had to wake up super early to lift weights

He is a good kid

He's not afraid to go places alone, and talk to adults and work hard.

I decorated a home in Desert Color this month

It was a fast and furious job and it wasn't my most intense, but

the photos were fabulous and I am the most proud of them.

It was undoubtedly a 100 % improvement

The Relief Society hosted a Father's Day Lunch for the men in our ward

during second hour on their special day.

It was cute and well attended and we had fun 

Papa and Nana set off on an adventure.

They joined Brad Wilcox on a Church History Tour that took them

from Buffalo NY to Kirtland Ohio.

They had the best time and every photo that they sent to me made me

feel equal parts jealous and SO happy for them

Niagra Falls is on my Bucketlist

My loving and forgiving Lover made this and posted it on Instagram

for our 18th wedding anniversary

By far the greatest photo of June 2026 is our favorite Hank on the scale at the 

Vet's office.

I cry every time I look at it. 

He is the SWEETEST doggie on the earth 

and I cannot believe how much he has changed our lives.

He got some shots

and tolerated them perfectly

3.6 pounds.

I could die

He really loves me

and I love that he loves me

and I love even more that when he is tired, 

he comes and finds me and feels safe to 

sleep on my lap

When you match with coworkers at work, you have to take pictures.

Speaking of coworkers....

One of my favorites, Amanda decided to leave us 

to spend more time with her family

I attended her good-bye send off and tried to take a photo before

we both started crying, but it was too late, the second she walked into the

room, I couldn't hold it in. 

Girls Camp this year was supposed to be a Glamping Adventure in the 

mountain town of Marysvale....

but the day before they were supposed to leave, they received word that

the town was under firewatch and it was too dangerous to take the YW up there. 

So the leaders pivoted in a hurry and booked one of our Red Rock homes here in town

and they had camp down the street.

They had a really good time.

Probably mostly because it was down the street and in

a very nice accomidation.

They made new friendships and strengthened old ones. 

We ended the month celebrating Raleigh's birthday

I took a half day and Ryker and I took him to lunch at

Texas Roadhouse

And then we ate Froyo

which was also delicious

And finished the day at the Red Cliffs Temple

in our patriotic clothes leading up to 

America 250

I think he had a nice day

I hope he did. 

I love him more than words can express

June was a rough month for me at work. 

In my 4 years with this company, I have never been this frustrated.

My assistant quit in May and I had to hire a new girl.

She is DARLING and she will be SO good, but she was in training for 

most of the month.

My housekeeping assistant is also brand new. 

And she will be so good, but she was in training most of the month.

My maintenance assistant is also new and was in training.

And two of the trainings were better than the third

and the result of my entire team being brand new and only a little bit trained, 

made me feel very alone and on my own. 

I had several very emotional situations which ended in tears because I cry whenever I feel 

any sort of emotion. 

Mad=cry

Sad=cry

Abandoned=cry

Frustrated=cry

Irritated=cry

Annoyed=cry

Pissed=cry

Livid=cry

I felt them all.

And what I really wanted to do was punch a wall and scream myself hoarse.

So I would say that a little quiet meltdown, sobbing session at my desk in my dark office

was a better way of handing my emotions.  

I am certain that there are a couple of people in my office that are thinking that I have lost it. 

And they would probably be right. 

 

But guess what? 

NO

I am very good at my job

I have been very good at my job for 10+ years.

I know what I am doing. 

I know what it takes to make things happen.

And I know when balls are dropped and when people fail me.

And at a different time, I would have handled it better....

but it's been too long for me doing this crap.

I am too old for this.

It's a thankless job.

And daily efforts and tasks can and often do go unnoticed.

My boss is pretty in tune and while Rals was on his trip,

she pulled me into a meeting and told me that there was an opportunity available 

for me to switch positions.

The new position will be more in line with my skills set.  Setting up homes in the beginning stages of onboarding and more decorating opportunites and

guiding new owners in bringing their homes on with our company.

I will no longer have to protect and save face when people don't follow through with their jobs.

I will no longer have to be yelled at and blamed when things don't get done by other departments.

I feel like my entire personality may change here pretty soon. 

I MAY start liking my job again.

I may even stop hating my job.

I may stop having the Sunday Night Blues.

I may start feeling good about myself.

I finally asked Raleigh to give me a blessing.

It was in the morning before work. 

I sobbed through the whole thing.

He blessed me to try remember who I am.

That I am kind. 

That I am loved. 

He blessed me to try to see people as our Father in Heaven sees them. 

He blessed me to know that people are just doing the best they can, 

and that they are trying.  

It was the best blessing I have ever had.

And then I went to work and everything turned around. 

My attitude changed.

I had several conversations with other managers who were 

beyond supportive of me and when you have people who 

support you, your whole perception of the situation shifts.

And mine did. 

I have said like 20 gratitude prayers.

I am trying to feel good about all of it.

I am trying to get excited for new opportunites.

I am definitely excited to be on a new team.

I may start feeling like I am actually making a difference again.

What would that be like?  

I am going to just try to lay low and hold it together for one more month.

I hope I can do that. 

Good thing we are going on vacation for 10 days. 

That will definitely help me.