New York... New York

Raleigh and I promised each other that we would take a big trip every 5 years.   Well....  5 years came and went and 6 years came and went and 6 1/2 years was almost passing and he surprised me with a trip to NEW YORK!  I was super excited to go to The Big Apple.  Super NOT excited to fly.  I have only flown 6 times in my whole life.  It is my very least favorite thing to do besides throwing up.  I have been a nervous wreck about it for 2 months.  Sometimes waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat and then I would calm myself down by saying....  "don't worry, you have 3 weeks and 4 days until you have to fly".  Well the day finally came.  I tried to happily pack.  But my fears were looming.  The only thing that was getting me through the day was knowing that Raleigh would be sitting right next to me and I could hold/squeeze the life out of his hand.  It might just be alright as long as he was there.

I somehow managed to make it to the airport.  I even got through the check in gate.  I didn't wear a belt.  I did wear slippers.  I was prepared.  We got to the gate 1 1/2 hours early.  I played some Wheel of Fortune and won $22.  I said lots of prayers and took some Benedrill.  And they called our row.

And that is when we learned that Raleigh was sitting in seat 10A and I was in 22 C.  I almost burst into tears.  But I didn't because the stewardess, who could tell I was in distress, started making all kinds of promises that she could never keep...  just go sit... I am sure someone will trade seats with you....  and everything will be alright.

I obediently took my seat.  And the two people sitting next to me weren't about to move and neither were the two brats sitting next to Raleigh.

And so the plane backed up, as it should.  It didn't care that there were two crapheads sitting in what used to be MY HUSBAND'S seat.   And it continued rolling down the runway as if all hell wasn't breaking loose in my brain.

I have had numerous panic attacks in my life time.  So many that I am very capable of controlling myself while I am having one.  On the outside I am as cool as a cucumber.  On the inside however, I am raging out of control.  My heart rate was 144 beats a minute.  I know because my neck was pulsating and I could feel every single one of them in my head.  I couldn't catch my breath.  My eyes filled up with tears.  My entire body was sweating at the same time I was freezing cold.  My feet went numb and so did the tips of my fingers.  And it felt like the plane was turning circles.  I was full fledged falling apart.  I almost died.  I am quite certain of it.

The Benedrill was kicking in and was in direct conflict with my panic disorder.  So I would drop off to sleep for 3 minutes and then wake up in sheer terror because I was 39,000 feet in the air and I was trapped in that plane with no escape.  And I did this for the next 5 hours.

Panic attacks take a lot out of you.  They exhaust you.  And I had 3 major ones and probably 20 little ones.  I felt so alone.  And so scared.

As it turns out....  when Raleigh and I got together and compared stories of what we had learned about our traveling companions...  we learned.....  A Jet Blue Employee decided to take herself and 9 family members to New York and then on to the Dominican Republic.  And all 10 of them were flying "stand by".  And OBVIOUSLY she had finagled seating arrangements because coincidentally a son and daughter were sitting happily together next to me and two nieces were sitting comfortably next to Raleigh.  MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.......  I wasn't born yesterday, I know how these things work, you piece of crap.  Hope you were happy, you STUPID FAMILY.  Because I was in HELL!!!!  And you made me feel sick for my first day in New York.  I had an upset stomach.   I was dizzy.  I was in a horrible mood that I couldn't snap myself out of.  I hadn't slept in 24 hours.  My head was pounding.

Raleigh suggested we take a cab from the airport to the hotel.  And I bit his head off.  "ARE YOU JOKING?  Do you know how much that will cost?  Have you lost your mind?  You must be some sort of idiot."   He quietly and calmly pulled out his phone and searched for plan B.  Which was

1.  Air train  (which wasn't terrible)  to
2.  E Subway for 35 miles (which was every awful thing you can imagine... standing room only, smelled like BO, hot, crowed with people who no doubt had Ebola and West Nile Virus, there were thieves, murderers, rapests, thugs, gang members, immigrants and gypsies.  And I tried so hard not to touch anything, but I kept falling over with every shift and swing of the train and so I wrapped my arm around the pole so I wouldn't have to touch it with my hand and that angered the locals because that's not how you are supposed do it and they glared at me and punched me in the face in their minds.  A nice but scary man told me to zip up my purse.  He said "you're in New York now and I can see your cash from here...  Zip up."  And I wondered where the HELL I was and why was I here....  I don't belong here.  I am a nice Mormom girl.  I don't want to get mugged on the subway, but it's inevitable.  I am such an easy target.  Not to mention I am sick and so visibly near a nervous breakdown.  See my swollen eyes?????  Trying to smile.

From here we     3.  Pulled our 50 pound suitcases  (I might mention Raleigh was wearing a 10 pound back pack and carrying my 30 pound carry on in addition to his suitcase) the equivalent of 30 city blocks to our hotel.  I did pretty well until I had pull my load up 23 stairs and I lost it on stair 16 where I sat down and started crying and blubbered with my face in my hands..... "I hate myself right now."  And he responded in a very stern, dad-like voice  "this is why I suggested we take a taxi,  but you insisted on saving our money and insisted further on experiencing the NY public transportation system...you have got to pull yourself together, we are almost there, but I keep looking back and you are too far behind me and it makes me nervous......  if you can't stay on my 6 (which must be a rap term) I'm going to make you walk in front of me and YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE GOING!!!!!"  I sucked up my snot and wiped my tear drenched mascara all over my face and gave him a look he will not soon forget and like a brat stayed "on his 6" by running into the back of him over 20 times.  I was SO mad!   SO bratty!!!  Completely ruining our first 5 hours.

 I somehow managed to smile for a picture at Rockefeller Center.  I was a little happier because we were able to drop and store our luggage at our hotel until our room was ready.  I essentially dropped 50 pounds of stress off for a measly $8.00.  What a huge relief!!

 Next we went on to the famous, Carnegie Deli.  I ordered a plain hamburger.  I was still feeling super sick.  And I couldn't fathom roast beef or corned beef or any other gross famous thing everybody else eats there.  The hamburger was the cheapest thing on the menu and it was $21.00.  Our waiter was from some foreign land and spoke in a very thick accent and I ordered a PLAIN hamburger and he didn't write anything down, he just said "o-kay, I get that for you soon"  I just knew he didn't understand that I said PLAIN.  I just knew he was going to return with some sick, mayo, saucy, covered in grilled onions and cabbage sickness...  but HE DIDN'T.  He got it right and I was so excited about it that I reached quickly for the ketchup and when I did, I knocked Raleigh's completely full glass of ice water all over his lap.

He truly should have stood up and screamed  "Woman............ that is it.  You are a pain in the ass traveling companion.  I want to send you home.  YOU SUCK!!!!  And I hate you. " But, he instead, grabbed napkins and sopped up as much of the water as he could, gave me a compassionate look as if to say "I'm sorry you are such a loser today, but I love you anyway and I will keep loving you all day until you get some sleep and turn back into my wife again."  He ate his food and made jokes intending to make me laugh and hoping to change my mood and then we went outside into 46 degrees and he walked around for two hours looking like he had peed his pants.... a lot.  And I am sure he was miserably freezing....  and he NEVER changed his mood.  He is the greatest thing that has every happened to me.

 We were finally able to check into our room and I fell into bed and slept HARD for 4 hours and magically woke up feeling as fresh as a spring day and as happy as a clam and I put on warm clothes and off we went to Times Square.  I LOVED EVERY SECOND OF IT.   It is as fabulous as I imagined.

 Friday morning, we woke up at 5:00 and got ready to go stand in line for Kelly and Michael.  We took a TAXI.  It was really fun.  Raleigh talked to the cabby about where he was from (Haiti) and about how many kids he had (4).  He was a very nice man.

 It was FREEZING in line and I was inappropriately dressed for the weather.  Instead of drinking my Starbucks hot chocolate, I held it close to me and kept my hands warm with it.  Besides, they use bitter chocolate to make their hot chocolate...  it's kinda yucky and expensive.  They do have lovely scones that taste like sugar cookies and I could eat one everyday.

 We got to attend two tapings...  Friday's show and Monday's show.  The guests were lame but the hosts were darling.  I love Kelly Ripa and have for YEARS.   My mom says we are a lot alike in our personalities.  She is tiny in person and I was jealous.  And Michael is as down to earth and darling as he could be.  We had a great time.

Then we ventured on to one of the 75 H&M stores that seem to be on every block to buy me a coat.  It seemed like a better idea than going all the way back to the hotel so that I could change into a warmer outfit.  Plus the coat I got is darling and so warm and I love it.  It was a very good decision.

We jumped on the Double Decker Bus Tour that we had purchased the day before.  And we headed to SOHO.  I had no idea what I was getting myself in to.  I didn't know that so much illegal activity was going to happen and that I would go from an innocent law abiding citizen to a hardened criminal in one hour... but I sure did.  Quincey and Morgan had placed a request for satchels for their souvenirs.  And so when the nice little China Lady asked me if I wanted a purse of course I said yes.  I didn't know she was going to open the wall, revealing a hidden staircase, down to a dark and dreary basement.  I didn't know that I was possibly going willingly to what could have been my secret murder where my body would be hidden forever and no one would be able to find it.   I didn't know that down there were hundreds of knock off designer handbags.  I didn't know that my husband was an underground purse buying fiend with incredible negotiating skills and by that I really mean he forced the Chinese Son to do whatever he said by saying things like "take this money for those 3 purses which is significantly lower than the price you quoted us or we walk" in a super in control and frightening voice and the son cowered in fear and took our money in shame.  And then the Chinese MOM caught wind that they were being suckered by my awesome lover's manipulative ways and she started SCREAMING in Chinese some sort of venomous words and I am sure she called us some unpleasant Chinese names and Raleigh shouted RUN to me and pushed me up the stairs.  I didn't know any of this was going to happen.  It was a freakin' blast.  When we were safe.... upstairs.....  and down the street.....  I felt like that may have been the most fun I had had in years.

The tour continued....  The Financial District, Wall St.  

 Here is Morgan's Death Satchel.

Dolce and Gabbana

 The next day was a dark and rainy day and looking back was my total favorite.  I was warm with three coats on.  We were armed with our umbrellas and more unsweetened hot chocolate.

 The only seats on the bus tour were.....  of course on the upper deck.....  and we LOVED it.

 Breath taking view of the place where the towers stood.  It is such an unbelievable thought at what that must have looked like as it was happening.  It's one thing to see it on TV it's completely and totally different to see it right there in person.  I can not believe that happened.  I don't have adequate words....

 The rainy day, being my favorite because the city was so gorgeous this day.  I couldn't stop taking pictures of the streets with all the lights.  I love the noise and the lights, the honking horns.  I LOVED IT.

 What,  I say WHAT are the chances that the Broncos would be playing the Jets the very week we were in NY??  It was meant to be I tell you.  Raleigh did what Raleigh always does and found us some AMAZING seats.  I couldn't believe where we were sitting.  I don't know how he does it, other than he has a little Uncle Jamie in him, I think.

 My Broncos Bow

 We rode the Crazy Train to New Jersey.  It was clean and fun and fast and easy.  

 The day was sunny and warm and delightful

 And we sat like 15 rows behind the team.  I could see the sweat on their faces.  

 And I promise, cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye.......  Peyton waved to us.

 And we took a TAXI home....okay?

 My game day attire

 Here we are ready to get on the stupid plane again at least we got to sit by each other on the way home.  Is that too much to ask?  I think not.

Our room

Here are my observations of New York

1.  Every one walks everywhere and really fast

2.  90% of the people are thin.  The lesser thin people must be tourists

3.  Nearly everyone smokes

4.  The police have much better things to do than harass you buy pulling you over for going 5 over the speed limit.  They don't care if you jaywalk, drive on the sidewalk or nearly hit 28 pedestrians, they are fighting real crimes with the Special Victims Unit.  Additionally, I am certain 50 people a day get hit by cars

5.  The people are SO nice and will help you with anything like getting your big ass suitcase through the turn style at the subway which you're not supposed to do, so you require help... lots of help

6.  There are a million jobs there and a million people wearing suits going to unknown places.... in a hurry.  And it seems like it's ALWAYS lunch hour.

7.  People talk on their phones using their earphones so they look like they are talking to themselves

8.  There is either an H&M or a Starbucks on EVERY corner.

9.  It truly is the city that never sleeps

10.  The taxi drivers just honk to honk....  they don't have a reason most of the time

I had the time of my life.  It could not have been better or more romantic or more fun.  I love Raleigh with all of my heart.  I am so glad I got to go with him on the trip of a lifetime.  Now we only have to wait 3 1/2 years to our 10th anniversary and next vacation.  I cannot wait!!!