December 2017

Please allow me to humbly apologize for December.

I have been told that I bah humbug my way through every Christmas Season.

I get SO stressed out. 

I am trying to arrange for the holiday happiness and well being of all of these children 

while trying to figure out how to pay for it.

I am trying to work shopping sprees into my already overwhelming schedule.

I am trying to #lighttheworld.

I try to be happy.

But, I fail every year, as I allow my stress to overtake me.

I KNOW that I am going to do this and no matter how hard I try, I get bogged down with it.

..... the worst part is .....

IT IS SO NOT IMPORTANT!!

Why do I worry about such unimportant things?

I do not know.

One of these years, I just know I will get myself together.  

...................

Our Holiday Celebrating began with Raleigh's 

Christmas Party.  It was an ugly sweater party.

I... of course.... had issues with it.

My issues were as follows:

1.  I loathe spending money on things that we will only wear once.

for example: Halloween Costumes,  prom dresses, baptism dresses, graduation gowns, bridesmaids dresses, upcoming wedding dresses, tuxes.  

(I suppose you could add my roller skates to that list as well as multiple bathing suits

if I am being honest.)

I am certain this is NOT the first or the twentieth time I have mentioned this issue.

Additionally, dressing up for an obnoxiously themed Christmas party 

will never be something I will see value in.

2.  I am not happy going to events where I am wearing silly clothing

because then I feel silly and I feel like I can't speak intelligently.

And I probably don't.... speak intelligently that is....

It's debatable if the wardrobe is really to blame.

3. We have 8 children to buy Christmas Presents for and we need all the money we can get.

4. Why can't we just wear our normal clothes to parties?

What is wrong with that?

Why do we need to dress up?

We are adults after all.

I tried to express my feelings.

"Couldn't we just wear sweaters that we already own

and save some money?"

OR

"If you are insistent upon spending money unnecessarily,

couldn't we instead buy really cute sweaters that we would be

able to wear over and over?"

Like the cream colored one in the window of Bohme (for instance)

I thought I had a really strong case.

I laid out the pros and cons.

I listened to the counter argument with empathy.

I delivered a VERY powerful closing argument.

With emotion.

And........

 I obviously lost.

I have decided that when Raleigh gets an idea in his head

it really doesn't matter what I think/feel.
Besides I think he was feeling pressure from his coworkers and
he was maybe afraid we'd be the only ones not participating and
that would say a lot about him as a team player.

He popped over to the store 2 hours before the event. 

Bought the sweaters.

Had them laying on the bed when I got home from work.

And was beaming with pride over his selections.
How could I say no?

He did meet me in the middle however, choosing a "cute" sweater

for me, rather than an ugly one.

 Chances are I will probably wear it again before Christmas.

And maybe in future years too.

It's really awesome that Brent works with Raleigh.

We always have fun company to sit with.
Also, may I mention, my SISTER made their ugly sweaters.
And they were to die for.
Like she put actual thought into them and conjured up real creativity
toward the cause.  Like some sort of supportive/un-grumpy wife.

While we were out...

Papa and Nana took the kids to see the lights at the temple

and Town Square.

And then they went to get frozen yogurt.

The kids were running from event to event.
Ryker lost a glove and complained about everything.
It was freezing.
The old folks were WORN OUT by night's end
and were probably sorry they'd agreed to be the babysitters.




.........................

The following week, Raleigh's company rented out a theater
and we were able to go see the new Star Wars Movie.
It was really good,  I liked it.

While we were there, Papa and Nana took the kids to the
Thunder Junction "Polar Express Event" thanks to
Kami giving us free tickets by #lightingtheworld on Suffer the Children Day:)

 KK wore her lipstick....naturally

They decorated cookies and drank hot chocolate.

 They saw Santa and told him all of the ridiculous ideas
that they had thought of for Christmas Presents.

Our good friends Jolynn, Brian and Brilynn Ellsworth
joined them.  I was sad that I missed seeing them.

Meanwhile...  our movie ended and we took advantage of
no kids and extended our date.
We wrote up an awesome Christmas Shopping list
over salad and breadsticks in a quiet corner booth at Pizza Factory.
We made a game plan so as to not waste our valuable time and we tackled it.
We were focused and determined.
We were a good team.
Raleigh makes me laugh out loud like 20 times a day.
This night was no exception.
I am so lucky to get to go Christmas Shopping with him every year.
He lightens my load and shares my burdens.

........................

My boss gave us some money to throw a little staff party.
Since we are almost an entirely female staff, we did what
WE wanted to do and went to a delicious lunch at the
most hidden and unknown restaurant in St. George with
THE BEST food.
And then we divided up the remainder of the money amongst
ourselves which brought a tear to all of the mother's eyes.
THAT, my friends is what employees really want.
Just bust up the money you would have spent
and give it to each employee in the form of a CASH BONUS.
Even if it ends up only being $50....

.................................. 

Peyton ran to her backpack in a frenzy at 9:00 on Thursday night
and brought us a wrinkled flyer that had been shoved into the bottom of her backpack for
what looked like days.
The flyer was announcing the Second Grade Christmas Program taking place....
TOMORROW.
The flyer stated that the children were to wear their very best clothing.
I told Peyton to go get her church dress and tights and switch out the
"normal day" outfit that we had selected already.

She instantly had a melt down.  Tears were flowing in large quantities.
I said "what in the world is wrong with you?"
And then she got that teenagery "look of death" in her eyes...
You know, the one that kinda makes you giggle a little, while at the same time being legitimately frightened for your life.
And she snarled through her teeth...
"I. Am. Not. Wearing. A. STUPID. Dress. To. School.
How will I be able to play football in a dress?"
(Well, I don't have the first clue, as I was a hop scotch girl).
To be quite honest, I didn't give a hoot what she wore.
But there was that looming fear of "what if she is the only one not dressed up
and she'll be scarred for life?"
And she'll tell her therapist all about her aloof mother who never had a clue.
Nevertheless, SHE didn't seem at all worried about future consequences of this decision.

And so, I asked her to tell me what she would like to wear that would be dressed up, but would still allow her to be a recess dominator.   Letting her know that this was HER decision and she would have to own it.

$30 and a midnight trip to Walmart later...
Peyton's idea of Best Dress.

As it turned out...  there were other "non-first born" children in the choir
wearing hoodies and beanies and t-shirts and Peyton was appropriately dressed-comparatively.
Lesson Learned by all.

So grateful for KK's cute teacher for arranging for "the REAL
Santa" to stop by her class for a minute.
I love this picture.

Our traditional Christmas Eve Dinner at Outback was
modified a little bit this year.
But, it was as delicious as ever

Christmas Eve we woke up early and made Crepes.
As we ALWAYS do.
Raleigh reminded me that I brought him a plate of crepes
on Christmas Eve 2007 when he was working at Best Buy (before we were married).
Well....  of course I did...
I had to show him what he could have every December 24th for the rest of his life
if he would just commit.  Best decision he has ever made, I tell you.
We took a picture of this year's feast and sent it to Morgan to make her jealous
that she decided at the last minute to go up North for Christmas.

OH I FORGOT TO MENTION...
Before these girls left to go up north on the 22nd, they went to Nana's to open their "cousin" gifts.

 Grant drew Morgan's name this year.
He recently won the Sterling Scholar Award in "Skilled and Technical Services"
He has become quite talented in Screen Printing.
How lucky for her, he made this super cute shirt for her.
"A Piece of my Heart is in South Africa."

Papa and Nana gave her a necklace in the shape of Africa
with a heart cut out where South Africa is...
She obviously LOVED it.

Back to the REAL Christmas Eve Night, our kids opened
their pajamas and looked darling.

 Savanna drew KK's name this year and gave her
a glittery unicorn backpack and she hasn't put it down
since.  She wears it everywhere and changes out the contents
a couple times a day.
What a HIT

 Christmas morning brought 3 DS's for the little kids

 Piles of new clothes

More clothes from Papa and Nana

 Papa and Nana gave us
Ancestry.com DNA kits.
I am so excited to send ours off.
I wonder what our ancestry is and I really want
to know how close my past comes to Raleigh's.
I think our ancestors knew each other...intimately

 We got to talk to our missionaries which was awesome.

 My mom said that Garrett called them from the church and the
connection was awful.  And they couldn't hear each other and Garrett
started getting frustrated and then he started crying and
my mom said that she thought her heart would break.
But, then from out of nowhere, a tech savvy Peruvian man showed
up at the church and flipped some switch and all at once,
the connection perfectly improved and everyone was so happy.
I know these boys can do hard things...  but this mission thing
IS HARD.

On Christmas night, Raleigh and I and the little kids left
for Las Vegas.  Raleigh's company gives each employee
$2000 each year to go on a family vacation.
All of the sudden, Raleigh realized we hadn't spent ours yet.
And so in a frenzy, he booked what he thought was going
to be a luxury suite for a couple of nights.
And we drove down.


Well luxury....  is such a relative term.
I suppose if you were from a third world country, it would have been luxurious.
But, we were NOT impressed to say the very least.
(and we are not that hard to impress either)
In fact, the word "sh*tty" may have been used several times.
First, let me say that this place WAS NOT cheap....
(in price, that is.)
We spent a lot of someone else's money on this room.
And second, the photos and the description of the room were
by far, a gross misinterpretation.  And were written by a delusional person back in 1988.
And finally,  even though I had suggested we stay in a fountain view room at the Bellagio
or a Strip view room at the Cosmopolitan......
I, in no way blamed my husband for his ultimate selection.......  out loud.

Having said that....
our room had the following flaws 
1. The guest before us had smoked 28 packs of cigarettes in the
guest bathroom right before we got there.  And you could smell the stench
from the elevator.
Virtually minutes after arrival, we all came down with asthma.
2.  I'm certain there were 11 unseen diseases floating around.  And I strongly
encouraged the children to refrain from touching ANY surface.
3.  The pull out was a twin.  For three kids...  awesome.
4.  The kitchen had a warm refrigerator, a dirty freezer, a microwave, a dishwasher,
a washer and dryer, a garbage disposal and a pretty fab mini bar...
but 'nery a fork or a spoon could be found.  And we had forgotten to
pack ours.  So, Raleigh had to walk several miles to locate some silverware.
5.  There was this "SEXY" jetted tub in the literal middle of the bedroom
which was more weird and ill-placed than it was sexy and kind of made
me feel uncomfortable.  And only a 90 pound female could fit in it.
We (gag) (barf) didn't use it and it quickly became the place where we
draped our dirty clothes in an effort to hide it.
6.  The light bulbs in all the lamps were pink which cast a tacky
hue all over the joint that made us all feel like we had the flu.

7.  The television only had 12 channels and 8 of those were easy
listening music channels.  The other 4 were absolutely ridiculous Las Vegas
channels advertising a wide array of lawyers.  Please someone tell me why lawyers are
SO necessary in this town.  And why anyone would hire one of them is beyond me.
9 out of 10 of them are obviously intellectually diminished and the same
amount have speech impediments.
Good thing I am hopelessly naive because I don't have the foggiest idea
what crime I could ever commit where I would EVER consider calling Glen Lerner.
Or should I say Glen "Leh-Neh".
But, holy cow a ton of people must call him....clearly that man must be rolling in dough for the amount of advertising he does.
8.  And since we are talking about the TVs, I think it's fair to say, the 32 inch tube TV sitting on the broken entertainment center was a monumental disappointment.
9.  When we walked around, our brand new white socks were instantly filthy.
10.  The entire hotel did not have one single ice machine.  NOT one.
I know because I called room service asking where the heck they were.
"Not ONE", they said... However,
 They were happy to bring me some ice,
.......for $20 and a tip.......
I'll be damned.
So we were forced to drink our packed in Diet Cokes at room temperature.  Gross.
11.  We were on the 35th floor which was by all accounts the "pent house" you know because there was no one above us and we were really high up however, we could hear EVERY traffic accident
below us as if we were right in the middle of them.  And there were like 10 of them.
12.  I got a touch of food poisoning from the buffet and had to visit the "smoking lounge"
(aka our odoriferous guest bathroom) several times which caused me to get a migraine,
not to mention wretched stinky hair that took several dozen washings to eradicate.
13. The floor creaked with every step and there were spots that I felt were going to
break and send us crashing to our death below.  I had to tape off the areas
where I didn't want anyone to walk just to be safe.
For example the area around the awkward bathtub.
14.  KK got sick the second night and I didn't sleep a wink wondering
which illness she had contracted.  I sat up all night and watched her.
While I searched the internet for the symptoms of
vast amounts of hotel room diseases.

Nevertheless, in spite of all of our complaints, we really did manage to enjoy ourselves and
the best part was that we all just got to be together for 5 whole days in a row....even if we all smelled bad and were dirty.  I just love going places with this crew.  It's a really fun family.  And my husband treats me like a queen.  He drove clear across the valley to pick up a togo order at MY favorite restaurant "Claim Jumper".  I had to stay home with sick Kaleigh.  He didn't bat an eye as he called in my order, drove an hour to pick it up and remembered every detail because he knows that a trip to Las Vegas isn't the same unless I get to eat there.





Christmas Night Dinner= McDonalds and Panda Express
in the casino food court.
Luckily for us, the kids didn't know that this was kind of sad.
Totally apropos for the theme of the vacation however.

"The undercooked egg" buffet.

Town Square Shopping with
30,000 other people

Such cute, well behaved children.

On the way home from our (uh-hum) vacation
I starting getting sick.
And by the time we arrived in St. George,
I was full blown in the throes of a nasty cold.
Which not only impaired me physically,
but mentally as well.
I was not as with it as usual, which may not be saying much...
but, I NEED to be as with it as possible.
I managed to drag myself to work.
And I did a few things there.

I went through a drive thru for dinner
I may have tidied up the kitchen... I don't recall...
and on my way to my room, I passed Ryker and I said
"Buddy, jump in the shower, it's been a while."
And he goes
"Oh yeah,  I need to be clean for MY BIRTHDAY"



..............  WAIT  WHAT?  ................
What is today?
The 28th.
It couldn't possibly be his birthday TOMORROW.
Who has a baby 4 days after Christmas?
I hadn't purchased a single thing.
I hadn't thought about a cake or a little party.
Oh my gosh, I am the worst.
Or rather...  really sick.
But the worst, none the less.

 Turning 6 is such a big deal
and he is so cute.

Well, Raleigh saved the day.
He woke the birthday boy up early and took him to breakfast
"anywhere you want to go..."
Walt picked Jack in the Box mini pancakes.
Then they went on a shopping spree.
Then they went to Dad's work so that he could seal a HUGE deal that he'd
been working on for the whole month.
Ryker thought that was so awesome.

 Then later in the day Nana took him shopping at Target

Then Allie and Morgan took him shopping at his very most favorite place in St. George...
The Deseret Toy Store
(some people call it the DI)
He really thinks it is a super cool toy store.

Then when I got home from work, we went to play games at Fiesta Fun

And for dinner..... again....
"you can choose any restaurant in the whole town, buddy..."
He chose Jack in the Box chicken nuggets
The whole day cost us $23.95
And he was as happy as a clam.
I told Raleigh....  we only have 2 more years of this lame-thrown together-celebration of Walt's birthday before he's old enough to catch on that we are lamely throwing a celebration together.
We really need to remember in the beginning of December, that we have a birthday at the end of December and PLAN for that mentally and financially.
Poor Kid.
But in OUR defense....  he wasn't supposed to be born until the end of JANUARY.
It wasn't our fault he came early.
We didn't do this on purpose.
Because WHO WOULD???

This 6 year old chose a chocolate on chocolate cake with a football
and "touchdowns" (goal posts).  But we couldn't find a cake with
such specific details sadly.
So instead we whipped up a choc on choc cake with
blue and green sprinkles and 6 blue candles.
How 'bout dat??

2 years...  we have 2 more years
until we have to be amazing.

#bestnine2017
What a year

 If I had to choose one word to describe MY 2017 is would have to be

CHANGE
I changed so many things for the WAAYYY better this year.
Some were noticeable.  Some were deeply personal and could not be seen by anyone else but me.

About a decade ago, I adopted the philosophy

"If you don't like something about your life, change it."

I started on an 11 journey to self reformation.
And COMPLETE life change.
I tried to start loving myself.  I started with that.
Literally, THAT has taken me THIS long to accomplish.

This year started off with me in a severe depression that I honestly didn't think I would be able to snap out of.  I was MISERABLE at my job.  I wish there was a word in the English language that could better describe the inner horror that I felt having to go to work every day.  I wanted out,  but I couldn't see a way,  I was so trapped.  I am not lying when I say I prayed at least 2 times a day begging for rescue and change.
It came.
The difference in my attitude about almost everything in my life has been overwhelming.
It's not good to be miserable at a place where you spend 80% of your awake hours.
I feel so blessed to have the job I have.
I love going to work.  I love what I do.  It's such a fun job.

I am so glad that I was able to change my calling as well.
I love my new calling.  It is challenging.... but I love being a part of Relief Society.
I also love the new curriculum and the changes to that program.  I see the wisdom in it and I am so excited to see what happens as a result of a new way of teaching.

Change in routines.
Change in finances.
Change in vehicles.
Change in attitudes.
Change in behaviors.
All for the better.

I hate change.  But I love improvements.
I love every part about my life that truly matters.
I love the expectation that our Heavenly Father has that we
"make something of our lives"

That is my New Year's Resolution if I have to make one...
To Make Something Of My Life
To leave a legacy that I can be proud of
To grow and improve
To be better than I was last year.

I have compiled a list of things I am going to try and improve
this year.  And I am going to continue doing the good things from
last year.

I am excited for...
2018